thumbsucker blues: sandbox parenting thead

also, should i try to change to an ailse seat now or should i wait and hope for a first class upgrade?

(change to an aisle seat in case you don't get an upgrade, then try for an upgrade anyway)

My child is so grown up all of a sudden. She wears college like comfiest jeans.

Actually I blame my migraine.

Left pic is me and O playing with photobooth. Other is an old pic.

I am so so so proud of my daughter - she's graduating with her masters in a few weeks:

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my boy has his first fever, just a little stomach bug we think. He's doing fine.

No-one I know ever has their kids christenened :-/

(xpost don't apologise. And, FWIW, don't try and imagine what she's feeling, just be a friend if and when needed)

And congrats to Jaq's daughter!

And best to feverish Louis. Our pediatrician wisely advised us not to rush to the medicine cabinet when Sarah had fevers -- the fevers were there to burn out whatever the underlying cause was, so we let them go unless they got really high.

Do today's parents use the Dr. Spock Baby book at all? I had an older copy that had some fairly sensible advice in it. My favorite child-rearing book was Kids: Day In and Day Out, which I'm sure is long out of print and far too hippy/mid-70s to be of much use today.

When my kids were babies, I used to read some of the Dr. Sears books. They are a little intense for some people, though (not everyone wants to be encouraged to breastfeed forever, or co-sleep. Also, I never did catch on to how to use a sling).

I think I am going to end up being one of those moms who breastfeed forever, which is fine, it'll give the inlaws something besides politics to talk about on thanksgiving.

My mum used it (not for educational purposes as she found it too liberal). I bought a new one when I was in university. I wanted to be a child psychologist so I figured I'd need the Dr Spock book. I looked in it once or twice when Ophelia was in my belly and after she was born but I didn't much like what he had to say about certain things (like do you go to yr kid when he's crying or not).

I don't really look in the books anymore.

So, yeah, we're not getting much sleep (I do Tuesday, Friday and Saturday nights) though last night wasn't too bad - fed on demand at 12:15, 3:50 and 5am (at which point we were joined by a wailing Ava).

Here's Tallulah doing her threatening Scouse face:

http://static.flickr.com/117/306594197_973f1a2ab1.jpg

Here's Ava buried under cushions:

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It is really painful, and unfortunately a lot of parents who can't stomach it for 1-3 nights end up with 4 years olds still sleeping in their beds.

I find myself posting pics to these threads (and scrolling through my Flickr sets) on days when I know I'm going to work late and hence not see her in the flesh when I get in... :(

sometimes it takes longer than 1-3 nights unfortunately, also. but yeah, we just met someone who has a 10 month old who hasn't had more than ONE HOUR of continuous sleep since the baby was born. NO. She seemed a little...insane.

That's it. We're just going to get a hotel room while the kid cries it out.

Also bad is when you have to go through it all over again because you visited someplace where the tyke had to bunk with you (happened a couple of times visiting the in-laws for 1-2 weeks over the holidays). Even being in a crib in the same room can cause a relapse. (akm: get the crib out of your room!)

-- PPlains (pleasant.plain...) (webmail), Today 7:28 PM. (PPlains) (later)

Yay!!

Y'know, as cruel as this sounds: the kid is not gonna suffer emotional damage because you let him cry it out. I know this easier said than done, but, trust me, with a little ferberizing (or just plain crying it out) it'll be solved. Look at your kid, can he manage to be on his own for an hour? Yes? Well, do it. I was of the opinion that I couldn't let Ophelia cry a little but my husband stressed that I had to or she wouldn't be able to be on her own. I don't think I was that *bad*: I did leave her for a minute or so but being with him (instead of being a single parent for example) taught me that I wouldn't really fall in my mother's trap of forever being there for my daughter. I was so dependent on my mother that I had EXTREME tantrums when my mom wasn't there (day or night) up until the age of about 2,5 yrs old. I just have to remember what Ophelia can become and I know that a bit of crying will do her good. God, that makes it sounds as though I neglect her. Trust me, I don't! :-)

http://static.flickr.com/99/308612161_281bb50fe1_m.jpg

Yeah she does!

;-)

TOM E YOU BETTAH POST A PIC OF YR BEBE!

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chillin'in front of xmas tree!

Update! Ophelia in handknitted sweatah! Waddayasay? I even included a zippah.Hoera! Sleeves are a bit short though but I blame the teacher who changed the pattern. Harumph.

E4: I want to take boxing!
E3: How about if I just beat you up?
E4: Okay! Tiger style again?

I just found out my parents might be getting this for Ophelia. SHould I be worried?

It blows my mind that in this day and age anyone would consider smoking while pregnant acceptable.

We hope to get the kids out of the bed soon, of course. We only have a queen size bed, so it's a little crowded with the two babies. I suggested putting the bed in the garage and putting a king size mattress on the floor, but that was just too ghetto an idea for my wife.

A couple new pics:
http://static.flickr.com/127/320128244_16fd99dc76.jpg
http://static.flickr.com/131/317510856_4910fc3f7c.jpg

From the Flickr set

As for rules, yeah... good luck with that. You have to do what works with the kids you wind up with...

With Tallulah we had some "success" initially with her in her own crib in our room - sleeping reasonably well, one major feed per night. But lately she's not been doing so well - whether it's the cold she's had since Ava snotted her sisterly affection all over her in week one or the looming spectre of colic (she has digestive/gas issues way worse than Ava ever did) - we usually need her in the bed for her to sleep soundly for more than 30min at a time. Last night was an exception - she slept in the crib until 3:45am, thereafter (fitfully) in the bed.

Whether through jealousy or by chance, Ava now wants back in on the act. I think it's the final throes of teething - she wakes up wailing at 1am or so and we have to take her into our bed to calm her down. You can tell it's a real illicit treat for her - she's smiling to herself as she burrows into the pillows between Mum and Dad. If Tallulah's already in prime sandwich position, I have to take Ava downstairs or just arrange the two of them very carefully. Hope it doesn't become a nightly occurrence.

Our doctor told us the only documented cases of people rolling over and crushing their babies involve BOTH obesity and drugs/alcohol. Something like 80% of the world's population sleep with their infants in the bed.

Thing to watch out for: Keep the covers/comforters away from their head(s).

And of course, put down a "piddle pad" because babies be wettin'!

And when you get a C-Section, you're on "pelvic rest" for a while.

Really? Is it longer than the standard 6 weeks for vaginal births? (At 6 week post-partum checkup, my ob's standard comment is, "you can go back to doing anything legal...").

I know! I discovered my mom smoked when she was pregnant with me, but I can sort of brush that off cause, hey, it was the 70s and she was 18 yrs old. Still...

In re to lovemaking: I think one of the reasons I put Ophelia in her own room was that I prefered doing some hanky panky when she wasn't around. ;-)

having a baby is the perfect birth control

We had a client in the shop whose two oldest childres were ten months apart. Yep. Ten months.

Many congratulations - I hope you are all doing well. Thanks for letting us know, Matt :)

As for co-sleeping: I planned to do it with Rufus, but it turned out we kept him awake and vice versa and it just made sense to put him in his crib. Cyrus is more cuddly or has elbows that are not as sharp and sleeping with him works better. We switch beds. Sometimes Cyrus ends up in bed with me; sometimes one of us ends up getting in bed with Rufus. Whatever works to keep the kids from screaming at night. We only have sex in the daytime when the kids are both at daycare.

I think you can make all kinds of rules but many of them go out the window once you deal with the kid(s) you have.

Lego Ist My Ego

http://static.flickr.com/124/322918011_150a1e0e4a_m.jpg

but I like books too!

The heater's broke. BAH! I don't care about me being cold - I can always play Wii till but I hate O being cold. :-(

Thank the Count and Sesame Street.

Ophelia has discovered tantrums. She doesn't want to have her *siesta* so screams and cries for about oh a good ten minutes. I don't know, am I coldhearted for letting her cry it out and fall asleep? I do pick her up once or twice and/or come into her room to let her know that everything's okay but on the whole I side with Thom: She must sleep, it's good for her.

That's how she asks for the DVD! "DDD, pease!" "Which one, sweetheart?" "Ah-ah-ah!"

My sons are currently rather obsessed with the Captain Underpants books. I'm not sure Anne likes the toilet humour (she had to have a word with David about making farts gags in front of teachers) but at least it has captured their imaginations. They have both started trying to write their own comic books and their reading has really improved.

We are also reading the Secrets of Droon fantasy series which Mark in particular seems to like and they still occasionally go back to the Mr Men series.

this scares me a little though. as long as archel had her baby still inside i could pretend labor was a long way off. now its me or meg next. yikes.

This is my last week at work... hoorah!

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Ava at 7 weeks:

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/8/8213599_fb5be44163_m.jpg

WHO WINS?

And yeah, hi! Alice is asleep on my lap as I type, can't believe she's 8 days old already. Once we got home from the hospital on Monday (though it felt like we were stuck in there much longer) i kept walking into the bedroom, seeing her in her cot and being like 'shit! who left a baby in here?' I can't believe she's ours forever. Majorly in love :)

The only hard part about this first week has been not being able to breastfeed because of Alice's cleft palate. It's just not the same plugging myself into an electric pump 6 times a day, and since I'm not producing much milk yet we have to feed her mostly formula anyway. But she seems to be thriving so it's just my own disappointment that's the problem i guess. Photos following...

Ready for her close-up:
src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/127/330134652_7cfcbe905f.jpg?v=0"

Best of luck with the pumping. I pumped for the 3 weeks the Alex was in the hospital when he was born; it's a lot of work. Come to think of it, Alex also did the Black Power salute a lot when he was a baby...

Very important question: are you feeling okay over there? I know how hard it can be those first weeks. If you need any support or whatever, email me stevienixed @ gmail dot com :-)

Gimme/email us your flickr account, I wanna keep seeing her! :-)

The crap thing about pumping is that I'm seeing the amount coming out and it looks so feeble, which makes me anxious, which makes the milk less likely to come... so it's a vicious circle. But I'm getting there. And most of the time I'm on a total high despite it all :)

Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/20144310@N00/sets/72157594427098596/

Also, I had a problem where I was so engorged at first that it seemed like the milk didn't want to come out. What helped was applying hot rags to my breasts with disposable diapers over them (to keep them warm) before pumping. Taking a hot shower or bath would likely do the same. (I don't know if that helps at all, but I suppose it can't hurt...)

The type of tea that is supposed to increase milk production is fenugreek. LLL doesn't recommend beer anymore due to the alcohol and also it isn't a substantiated thing that it increases milk production. Frequency of nursing should increase milk production.

I hope that helps some... if I think of anything else (or she mentions anything else) I'll post.

Just heard an awful awful story... Woman being beaten, babies not really being treated well... It makes me so sad. :-(

I miss my belly too Nath! Although I still have the sad deflated football version of it... I can't believe Alice came out of there to be honest.

Thanks for all your support - it will make getting up at 4am to feed/express that bit more endurable...

Archel - hope some of those ideas help! I totally remember getting up in the middle of the night to pump; my husband used to try to get up, too, so he could wash up the equipment afterward. One time I tried to get up quietly so he would get a bit of extra sleep and he got irritated with me. I was like, "one of us should be sleeping here!!!!" I think he got my point... otherwise, that whole first year is kind of a haze...

Cutest swaddler ever:
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/155/331222961_f7acbbf084.jpg

Did the cookie dash across SE London tonight with our homemade gifts for the neighbourhood mums, and received a few visits ourselves. What a lovely start to the holiday - especially the big, unprompted kiss from little Campbell when I dropped off their present.

Tallulah has finally dozed off, Ava has been down since her bath at 8pm.

A merry Christmas to you all!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Parents!!!

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Ava rolling around in gift-saturated heaven:

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Ava showing Tallulah there's no hard feelings despite the clashing outfit faux-pas:

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However she's grown fed up with the formula milk so I think we'll need to introduce a *proper* breakfast and give the milk as a *side dish*.

I spent most of yesterday firmly in the "basic zone" on the 300D but I'll start experimenting with it a bit more today having had a peek at the manual. The top two above were taken with the 300D, the bottom one with the Ixus i. It's pretty great - God bless Pam, eBay and PayPal accounts linked to credit cards...

With the Fischer Price house.

I'm very keen to get myself a SLR camera - once I have saved up enough money - cause the one we have now is sooooo fucking slow to react! If I want to take a pic NOW, that doesn't mean five minutes later cause then O is somewhere ELSE. Grrr.

RInging the doorbell!

Ah, nothing says Christmas like pacing the room with a crying baby at 3am... and yet mere hours later she looks so angelic:
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/140/334185899_22bb9309ca.jpg?v=0

Oh and I love Ophelia's skirt nathalie.

You know, ILxors make some pretty good looking kids!

The skirt is from Mexx. Personally I love it, but I prefer Gap. Sadly (or luckily financially speaking) we don't have it here. My parents do send me stuff from Japan. I have warned'em once that I'm in Japan - in february eep! - I'll be going there on a shopping spree. :-)

Yeah, O is big, I know! Noone fucking told me that she'd be no longer a baby by the end of the year. BOOOHOOO. :-( But it's so much fun having her crawl around so much. :-) We're now decided to NAME EVERYTHING. She's been pointing at things like mad so I figure I better teach her what the things are. :-)

On the way to the football yesterday we passed a horrible building that I happen to work in:

Mark (7): It's kind of dull looking isn't it Dad?
Me: Yes.
Mark: What does dull mean?
Me: Well you just used it correctly so you should know.
Mark: Dark?
Me: Yes, like the opposite of bright and colourful.
Mark: Okay... what does "YOU ARE GAY!" mean?

Nathalie, those pictures of Ophelia are great, but I keep going back and looking at your excellent shoes. Square toed loafers? Give me your shoes.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/147/335610826_d9592eed1e.jpg

here he is at 12.5 mos next to his 28 mo cousin.

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after shots.

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I think the cuteness of this pic may force my family to move closer.

He's so big! And gorgeous! I want to smooch his cheeks and grab his little chubby arms and legs. Oh teens, I am in love with your babydoll.

She's been pretty grouchy the last couple of days, I think it's because we're still struggling to second guess her feeding patterns/needs. Can't just shove her onto a boob when she looks hungry, unfortunately. I am growing to hate her bottles and the eternal round of washing, sterilising, measuring, warming... not to mention the dreaded breast pump. But she's putting on weight like a trooper which is the main thing.

But weirdly she seems to be able to stay fast asleep even while snuffling and spitting up, so she must be reasonably happy (if messy).

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/92/336141033_b160ec521e.jpg?v=0

i am SO sick of being pregnant. over it over it over it!

here's something weird though: i've had morning sickness throughout this entire pregnancy but while I was in Australia I didnt get, or feel, sick at all. now, i've been back in the US for 24 hours and I've already puked 3 times. what the hell?? does baby want to be born downunder?

Just how financially secure should potential parents be?

This is Mr Pumpkins main reason for not having a baby, he says he doesn't want to just 'manage'. I think he's being unreasonable.

Whatever you do, don't go thinking that you'll get pregnant straight away. Yes, it might happen, but I think the current stat. is that one in six couples experience problems trying to conceive that means it takes over a year. The longer you leave it, the more risks you take with dwindling fertility.

However, I'm not a parent (yet, hahaha....)

We figure the amount we would save on not getting to go out ever again should be enough to keep a baby in baby things forever, but this doesn't mean I'm going to try this hypothesis out.

I would probably go back to work part time, but to a better paid job.

He's terrified of losing the flat, but at the moment we're left with a full wage to live on after all the bills are paid.

(though it is a good time to go looking elsewhere, and you hand your notice in as soon as possible after you return - well, that's what colleagues of mine have done in the past)

Ah for the olden days. Bet our grandparents didn't worry about finances and careers before hopping into bed.

xpost, no, because in our grandparents' day, a lot of kids were an asset, not a liability. (My dad is one of twelve.)

Example, some family friends just spent nearly £200 on a baby monitor/alarm thingie. £200!!!! God knows how my mum coped with having to just keep an eye on me.

It's if they give you above and beyond the statutory that they have the right to claim it back, but not all employers will.

Nothing to tell at the minute Ailsa, though Chris and I definitely would like to have kids, I don't think that would come as a big surprise to people though!

I reckon Ava & Tallulah cost us about £230/month in food, clothing and other essentials and, yes, nearly a quarter of that is disposable nappies. That's excluding all the extra washing machine/tumble dryer/central heating/car usage that the kids make necessary (couldn't have T in a room below 18C for the first few weeks, etc) or the hefty occasional outlays (buggy, car seats, cot, changing table).

We get £127/month in Child Benefit and £96/month in Child Tax Credit (they're calendar month equivalents, not what we get every four weeks) so, in theory, it's nearly covered. (The CTC will drop to about half that when T is one and, obviously, the costs will mount then; also, before T arrived and the benefits increased, the disparity between CB+CTC and monthly outlay on A was greater).

We slide ever further into debt, though, but that's mainly pre-parenthood profligacy, spells of unemployment and going horribly overbudget on the house refurb. We spent daft amounts on each other this Xmas too, despite saying we wouldn't... :)

No one can ever afford kids, certainly not underpaid lower-middle-class thirtysomething goofballs like us, but, as Vicky said, you can't wait for the promotion/partnership/Lotto win.

We probably spend about £200 in the pub in an average month, so losing that in itself should be enough to cope with the expensive early years. Not that we have any intentions right now of having kids, but if we did I can't see myself having any truck with nonsense like changing tables and disposable nappies and £200 baby monitors and stuff (having had it hammered into me by my mum that these things aren't necessary since they didn't have them in her day, yadda yadda yadda). I think we'd manage just fine - most people that I know do.

Our baby monitor was a gift (and definitely not a £200 model); it went barmy at the beginning of the year (picking up everything but the transmitter) and we don't really need it. We don't live in such a big house that we can't hear the kids fretting/crying from practically everywhere save the shed or the garden.

We seem to run the washing machine semi-continuously already - God knows what it would be like if T was soiling half a dozen cloth diapers a day as well. Good luck doing without the Pampers*!

(* - or eco-friendly equivalent)

I shall probably never have to face this dilemma, hence why I get to be all uppity about it. How bad can it be, seriously, though? (I used to wipe other people's bums for a living, surely it's easier if it's your own cherished child? If I was really hardcore about it, I'd be all "washing machines? my mum managed without a washing machine" but I'm not a complete moron.

we aren't talking about the wiping of the bums! you still have to wipe bums with or without disposable diapers. it's the fact that babies poop A LOT. you would be washing diapers ALL DAY if you used cloth diapers. that's the thing.

The parents of one of my friends had twins and refused to use disposable diapers. To this day (20 years later!) I can still remember the horrible smell of that house.

And no, you can never afford kids. But that is part of what makes them so precious. They are worth pretty much every sacrifice and hardship, in the long run.

I have only done disposable, although I am thinking of starting to do a half-and-half thing, now that I only have one poop a day to deal with and I generally know when it happens.

My grandmother (circa 1930) claimed to have potty-trained her kids from birth. Basically, she just knew when to hold them over the toilet.

(seriously, I have no real bother one way or the other. It always seemed to me that real nappies would be better all round than disposables, but now I'm not so sure. I'm directing my rage solely at people with £200 baby monitors now)

And I'm definitely with you about needless gadgets ailsa. I think I spent a total of £9 of my own money on preparing for Alice (on clothes at an NCT nearly new sale) and everything else was donated/Freecycled/bought by parents. She's obviously going to cost a lot more now she's actually here but at least babies don't know/care if their gear is second-hand or improvised.

It probably helps that we have no space for anything anyway. But thank god someone else fulfilled Alice's pressing need for a giant corduroy bunny:

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/159/336141847_70fb1e064d.jpg?v=0

It's my opinion that the most important thing you can give your children, the thing they will truly remember, is your time, and I personally think that the small conveniences of modern living that truly give us more time to spend where we choose are well worth it.

Very true. I was going to say, with all this "can we afford it?" talk - the hurtin' isn't just on your wallet (and you can control that to a certain extent by being thrifty), it's on your free time, which (with two or more kids especially) may well dwindle away to nothing.

example-now typing one-fingered with fussy T in crook of arm...gotta go

Toys? We have a lot but Ophelia prefers taking out all the paper out of closets. The first half year you don't need much at all.

We didn't think about the cost of having a baby. Mostly because it wasn't a problem. (Being the worrier that I am, it does However I didn't realize how much money can/is spent on a baby! WTF man. I did switch from yr fancy ass (hah!) Pampers to a cheaper (and imo better) alternative. Saves us a ton of money. Same goes with those towelettes: 1 euro instead of 3 euros. Hey and I knit her sweaters. ;-) Just kidding. But if I wanted I could save a lot of money on clothing by knitting all her sweaters (instead of buying'em). Still, no designer clobber for Ophelia. It's ridiculous even if you have the money.

We get £127/month in Child Benefit

WTF! We get about 55 pounds. Oh wait is that for two kids? I put all the money on her savings account.

Archel, that's one of my favourite baby pics EVER.

Oops, this is what happens when you turn around and look at Ophelia crawling around: you forget to type the rest of the sentence.

the most OTM post on any parenting thread evah.

One month:

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Three months (on Boxing Day):

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(My baby overheating or getting a chill during the night is just one of the things I'm looking forward to worrying about!)

Ah shit, sleepsuit is something different. Replace sleepsuit with sleepbag. Worked wonders for me!

So it's onesie+sleepsuit+sleepbag. Room temp about 21 to 18 degrees celcius.

your kids are all spoilt.

There are few things that cause a knee-jerk reaction but the line 'you're kid is spoilt' is one of them. I know you don't mean it the wrong way - or at least I hope not - but argh how I hate that line. :-)

1. No freaking WAY we would use cloth diapers. My mother-in-law disabused us of any thoughts of cloth diapers, and I'm glad she did.

2. With twins there is no chance for anyone to be an absentee parent, which is good, except when you want to take a break.

3. Last night, we switched from those fluffy terry-cloth-like baby suits to thin cotton ones, and wrapped them up in fleece swaddlers. They slept for 8 HOURS! I don't know if it was that, or the fact that we tanked them up with milk and formula before bed, or if it was just random, but it was awesome. Maybe they had been getting too hot in the night. If you use swaddlers, and the houe is relatively warm, I don't think you need blankets at all, at least at first.

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CONGRATULATIONS ARCHEL FAMILY!

I did wonder about you at one point during the hoilday, you know.

I managed to sleep from 3am until 9am today thanks to Matt doing early morning feeds, hurrah! Alice and I may even venture out later on to celebrate my relative lack of tiredness.

Apologies for the confusion; I could call my kids by their middle names, if you like - Galvin and Greer. But that makes them sound like sheet music publishers from the turn of the 20th century.

Do you want to see something sad? Do you promise not to forward to Social Services? Ava, the morning after clocking herself on the edge of a chair (check out the shiner on her left eye):

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/161/340782436_f8f00f3207.jpg

Stop it with the Ava and Tallulah confusions!

Mine were first!

Oh, bless!

Ava's eye really coming on a treat now - will post some more pix to Flickr when I get the chance. She'll love me for this when she's 13.

I just recovered from a 24-hour stomach flu that had me puking every hour or two. I don't know what I would have done if my husband couldn't have stayed home with me, it was miserable. I lost six pounds and I was already underweight. I think my milk production went down, we tried giving Louis cow's milk and he was totally not having it! Everyone is fine now though.

Shiner, day four:
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/155/344624551_159b47b473_m.jpg

Teeny, man, that's so crap. Hope you recover quickly. :-( I've been having mad crazy migraine attacks and they SUXOR. :-(

That's wonderful. I get Ava to sleep that easily maybe one night in six or seven.

(So, are we staying in the sandbox? I think we should. It feels a bit like lingering in the pub when everyone else has gone to the gig that was the original reason for meeting up.)

Ha - it's all about routine and things have been a lot better in the last month. "Dummies and puppies?" Ava asks as I'm towelling her down post-bath; her cot contains a few pacifiers (yes, we'll phase 'em out eventually) and a couple of plush dogs, y'see. And off she goes.

Wearing her mum's specs:

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/164/386827890_6340eaf7f3.jpg

Out in the snow:
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Tallulah gets ready for snow outing:
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/66/383706273_03a6352d92.jpg

AWWW AWWW AWWWWW AWWWWWWWWWWWWW

you just broke me

Alice and I walked a very long way in the rain this morning for her first round of immunisations, only to find that the appointment card we'd been sent was totally wrong and we were supposed to book with our own GP (two minutes walk) after all. Argh. Still, defers the agony...

Question: how do you implement a 'routine' while still feeding on demand (and when feeds are demanded at fairly random intervals)? Alice slept from 6.30pm until midnight last night, neatly missing any bedtime routine window we might have had. And I hate to wake her up when I don't know when we're next going to get any peace...

http://www.douglasandlisa.com/sterling/s151.jpg

Your site reminds me that I need to take pix of Ava in the bath (she's often at her hilarious best when splashing about), in monochrome (that great Jan 13 one!) and I need to take more videos.

Ava still pronounces her "L" as "W" despite Daddy's best efforts at instilling palatalisation ("watch my tongue - LuLu." "Yuyu!"). It's cute, we'll just leave it. Her command of numbers is still haphazard - one through twenty but rarely in order and she confuses 8 and 2 for some reason. She's a bloody sponge though - it's incredible to watch her absorb all this stuff and chuck it back at you.

Now that morning sickness has finally passed, even though we've had a scan and a teeny bump is emerging, I'm finding it really hard to remember that I'm pregnant, it's almost as if I'm in denial, which is very very odd. In 3-4 months time if I look back at this I'm sure I'll have a bitter chuckle to myself.

Still, 136 days until I go on maternity leave!

More fluff please! Douglas, that's such a gorgeous head of curls!

I felt the same Vicky - mainly because I always imagined I was going to look enormously visibly pregnant from about 4 months onwards, which was far from the case. Plus I didn't have any morning sickness to speak of and generally felt 'normal' most of the time, so it was very easy to forget, sometimes.

Just go with the flow. She's still young and thus not open to much *coaxing* (in my opinion). But I did make sure that I would do the feeding in the same place and would also put her beside (with the telly on, so she got used to noise) after the feedings in the evening. That way she more or less got the hang of "night time is sleepy time."

Ophelia has been extremely clingy (after Japan). It's a bit difficult as I want to do my work in the shop. But it's flattering as well of course.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/153/388986714_8facf31e5a.jpg?v=0

Yo peeps

Ava is 2 today and that was supposed to be a little sequence of photos from birth to recent.

Here are the other two, FWIW...

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/38/122170862_d37490f4d5_m.jpg

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/175/383716432_d04dde8cb1_m.jpg

So her birthday is on Valentine's day? That's so sweet and befitting for a cute girl like Ava!

lou's gone all mellow and snuggly lately:
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/140/381877678_ee1d5bce87.jpg

Oh teens, I want to smooch that handsome boy. What a sweet face.

Good luck Meg! If all the sex doesn't tire you out, try walking up and down stairs a lot.

Hope he does well on the meds, and good luck with it all.

Doesn't look like I will get my Valentine's baby after all, as he/she shows no sign of turning up today. So from tomorrow I am officially overdue and up for following any advice on how to get things moving, unless they involve castor oil.

FIrstborns are usually late. :-) Good luck with the delivery!!!

Sadly, as we live in a ground floor flat there's no easy access to stairs for walking up and down. As for teh sex, we'll see tonight ;)

Here are a couple of pics from the hospital, when Ben got hooked up to an EEG.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/167/390810874_a59d9374ee.jpg

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/139/390811113_ab483b81e0.jpg

Meg, I never had any luck inducing with sex or anything else I tried. (Possibly because sex is so hilarious at that point, though). I do remember thinking, BRING ON THE PAIN I CAN TAKE IT. It is so uncomfortable at the end.

But yes, poor wee Ben.

Archel, you had SPD didn't you? I have pain in one side of my groin when I walk so I am wondering if that is the same thing. Is there anything you can do about it?

Liz, when are you due again? I forget and it's on old ILE. I keep hoping to feel something (16 weeks and 2 days) but it's still early days yet I guess, and the placenta's at the front which could mask it until later :0(

Liz, there's not a huge amount you can do about the SPD I don't think - I was told to keep my legs together as much as possible (!) ie bring both feet together on each step when you go up stairs, get out of bed by swinging both legs to the side etc. Also, sleep on your side with a pillow in between your knees. I had a lovely V shaped pillow which was a livesaver (and is still handy now for support when feeding).

Thanks, Archel. It isn't a definite diagnosis but I'll talk to the midwife next week & try the pillow thing anyway.

The OBGYN was a professor, I don't think he put my mum at risk though.

http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/index.html

On a lighter note, here is my baby brother (25 years my junior). He's just about to crawl, by the looks of things.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/175/396562899_4042640fe5.jpg

How are YOU doing? Is she sleeping through the night yet? I think that is one of the most important things that make it much easier for the parents: a good night sleep. :-) Shit, at the end of the year I'll have to give this up. Oh dear! :-)

What I am thinking about is taking the baby to a daycare (?) a couple of days a week. Most of my friends keep saying I should keep the baby (like I did with Ophelia) but I know how hard that wat (running a shop while taking of the baby). I don't think I'll cope with two kids... I feel guilty saying it but I do have to stick with the plan. I feel a bit like a bad mommy though.

She had her first vaccinations yesterday as well - barely blinked, the brave little tinker :)

How is old is she now exactly?

Yay for not crying! :-)

Here's something great about having two kids: they play together. Sometimes this devolves into fighting (at our house they even fight about imaginary things), but sometimes they play together so nicely and it's really great.

I'm wondering about a health issue. Cyrus, now 1.75, likes to carry around a bottle - it's his comfort item. It's time we should make him switch to a cup, but we haven't had the fortitude to deal with the crying. My real question is not so much about that, but about the volume of liquids he drinks. I know it's best not to give a kid that age more than a measly 4 oz. of juice. We only give him 100% juice and we water his bottles down so much that he only has a bit of juice. But he wants to have a bottle of milk or juice all the time. He wakes up in the middle of the night asking for a bottle a few times a night. Last night he drank 4 bottles during the night. He wakes up with his diaper soaked through. He cries and cries for it. He's also had sort of chronically loose poop, which makes me think he needs the liquid.

I know the answer already -- we have to be tough and just limit his bottles. But I'm wondering if maybe he's got some digestive/intestinal thing going on that makes him thirsty all the time.

I find it hard about daycare but I know that it'll be a good thing. In march OPhelia will go two days a week. A friendn said that she'll make big jumps as they are stimulated* a lot. My mom and best friend however are adamant that keeping a baby as long as possible is much better. Hmm, I think I'll contact the daycare and see if I can still reserve a place. It's quite difficult.

Maria, can you ask a doctor about the intestinal/digestive question? Because that has got to be really hard on your son's teeth. One possible compromise to make the transition easier: switching to water only bottles at night. Then he still has the bottle but at least it's not anything that is going to cause dental caries.

oh and regarding gestation, pregnancy lasts 40 weeks from date of last period, 38 weeks from fertilization.

We have discussed whether there might be a no.2 one day, but we're going to see how we get along with one - right now I'm really not convinced I could go through pregnancy again (and I haven't even done childbirth yet). Mind you, I was doing fine until I went overdue - it's just this past week I have been somewhat miserable.

Our kid's going to daycare at six weeks. I sure hope you don't feel guilty about sending a one-year old to daycare!

It seems like so many people I know are pregnant now, and I'm finding that I really really really want another one. Clearly not going to happen, and come on, I'll be 35 this summer, I'm already at the "advanced maternal age" period of my life, but wow, I WANT ONE.

Learning to live with "yeah, probably not gonna have any more" is sort of sad and a little hard.

As the dad of two kids 21 months apart, this rings so many bells with me it's practically a campanologists' convention.

It's very tough at the moment; I'm not sure we'd have coped so far without the network of neighbourhood mums (people Pam met at the weekly drop-in centre when Ava was very young) who helped us out when Pam was in hospital and occasionally give her a break by taking Ava for an afternoon. Ava loves her sister very much but has a tendency to express it in a slightly unrestrained manner - the other day she almost gouged Tallulah's eyes out in her enthusiasm. I look forward to when the dynamic of their relationship is a bit different to the constantly dangerous scenario of the rambunctious 2-y-o running wild vs helpless 3-m-o tot who gurgles happily even when 2-y-o is dragging her off the couch to "play" with her.

Free time just vanishes when you have two, I find. One child might seem draining of your time and energy but you will pine for those days of just one kiddie. And, as Jaq says, the logistics of looking after/transporting/doing anything social with two is massively complicated vs one child.

No one should ever give you grief for relying on daycare or other outside help even if you have just the one child. Whatever helps you get by, whether financially or emotionally. Parenting seems to be this continuous balancing act between what you need to do to just to cope and what the prevailing expert opinion on any specific topic is telling you to do (whether feeding, sleep routine, weaning, toilet training, etc).

It's all worth it, though. I think.

I'll be 35 this summer

Hell, I'll be 34 when the second will be born. Do I care? Hell no, I wanted two and that's what I'll have. Hopefully. :-)