sandboX Factor 2011

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So, quarter finals this week.

yes this is the real (snoball), Saturday, 3 December 2011 19:55 (twelve years ago) link

oh alright then, semi-final

yes this is the real (snoball), Saturday, 3 December 2011 20:01 (twelve years ago) link

Dermot facepalm lol

yes this is the real (snoball), Saturday, 3 December 2011 20:03 (twelve years ago) link

Just watched it this morning. Marcus was rubbish with his second song. I expect Misha will be out, but don't know who else. Little Mix or Amelia, I guess, reckon Marcus is safe enough.

ailsa, Sunday, 4 December 2011 12:33 (twelve years ago) link

Marcus safe definitely. He seems like the one who puts in the most effort. Even hyperfocused Misha seems to be coasting a bit by comparison. But he's probably the one whose post XF career I'd be interested in the least - I got the feeling that he'd have been singing 'My Girl' even if it hadn't been Motown theme for the first song.
Little Mix will probably be out, then I never ever have to hear Tulisa refer to them as "my little muffins" in that odd accent she puts on whenever she says that. Little Mix themselves are like a car where nothing quite fits exactly, so everything is rattling around like crazy when you're driving. Not one but two vocal fluffs in their first song. Although possibly this 'not quite perfect' aspect is what endears them to young teenage girls, and goes some way to explaining why they're still in the competition.
Misha and Amelia, it's between whether the public prefer R&B/hip-hop stylings or 80's power ballads. Kind of have the feeling that Misha is running on empty though - she went 'wikwikiREMIX' during her first song, but then didn't actually kick off into one. Amelia is an anonymous belter, but maybe the public at large would prefer someone who isn't going to challenge them in any way musicially whatsoever.

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 4 December 2011 12:53 (twelve years ago) link

it feels really wrong that amelia is here, having got a free pass through some of the toughest weeks

lex pretend, Sunday, 4 December 2011 20:27 (twelve years ago) link

though i think consensus is that misha is leaving tonight, because the public are thick and racist. i agree she's been treading water. she doesn't really look like she cares about leaving and neither do i tbh.

lex pretend, Sunday, 4 December 2011 20:28 (twelve years ago) link

she needn't care perhaps because she has the best chance of having a music career of any of this shower even if she goes out tonight

Julie Lagger, Sunday, 4 December 2011 20:30 (twelve years ago) link

fuck did Louis just do his 'comparing a black singer to another completely different black singer' shtick with Kelly?!

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 4 December 2011 20:39 (twelve years ago) link

i think he was being meta and self-aware! :o

lex pretend, Sunday, 4 December 2011 20:41 (twelve years ago) link

wtf wtf wtf

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 4 December 2011 20:51 (twelve years ago) link

I assumed he was taking the piss out of his own schtick.

Zzzzzzz, worst final ever, Marcus ftw by default.

ailsa, Sunday, 4 December 2011 20:57 (twelve years ago) link

kinda expected though.

what is WRONG with the british public? i hate everyone.

lex pretend, Sunday, 4 December 2011 20:58 (twelve years ago) link

I bet that Misha is the only one that anyone remembers in a year's time, unless Little Mix beat Wand Erection with blunt objects.

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 4 December 2011 20:59 (twelve years ago) link

finally heard the original jessie j version of the song misha keeps singing. jessie j is the most awful singer ever.

danzig, Sunday, 4 December 2011 22:11 (twelve years ago) link

Mistakenly saw the end of the Bieber performance which featured more autotune than I thought was possible.

aldo, Sunday, 4 December 2011 22:16 (twelve years ago) link

Least Christmassy Christmas song ever. I did love Dermot waving 'Justin' offstage to kid on that they didn't record his bit a fortnight ago and he wasn't actually there.

ailsa, Sunday, 4 December 2011 22:37 (twelve years ago) link

Oh, and that colour of tights with Kelly's skintone? Zombie legs stitched on under bad anaesthetic.

aldo, Sunday, 4 December 2011 22:42 (twelve years ago) link

http://twitter.com/#!/MissyElliott/status/143503393451806721

last laugh to misha b :)

lex pretend, Monday, 5 December 2011 08:34 (twelve years ago) link

wd bet that Louis and Gary don't really rate Missy tbh

Julie Lagger, Monday, 5 December 2011 09:20 (twelve years ago) link

xpost awww.

Ou est la showaddywaddy (MarkG oo la showaddywaddy), Monday, 5 December 2011 10:06 (twelve years ago) link

The Take That singer has confirmed he and Marcus will sing Billy Joel's Always A Woman.

Kelly Rowland and Amelia will sing Ike and Tina Turner's River Deep, Mountain High, and Tulisa and Little Mix will perform a medley of Alicia Keys hits If I Ain't Got You and Empire State Of Mind.

Jilted John and Marsha (MarkG oo la showaddywaddy), Friday, 9 December 2011 16:06 (twelve years ago) link

This is a bad idea. Amelia - possibly - has the chance to come out of her duet with Kelly sounding sort-of OK. Beyonce/Alexandra it will not be though. Gary is a crap ballad singer, and a complete mis-match with Marcus. Having Marcus sing while a donkey goes "hee-haw" in the background would be better. The only way Little Mix could pull it of would be if Dappy took Tulisa's place, so they could say "see? we're not the worst dressed pop stars".

yes this is the real (snoball), Friday, 9 December 2011 18:15 (twelve years ago) link

IT'S ON

yes this is the real (snoball), Saturday, 10 December 2011 19:59 (twelve years ago) link

note for future VT montage compilers: Wembley Arena != Wembley Stadium

yes this is the real (snoball), Saturday, 10 December 2011 20:00 (twelve years ago) link

go...little mix?

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Saturday, 10 December 2011 20:09 (twelve years ago) link

Barlow one step away from being a walking Hovis ad.

yes this is the real (snoball), Saturday, 10 December 2011 20:19 (twelve years ago) link

ffs that bow tie, why have they dressed Marcus like a waiter?

yes this is the real (snoball), Saturday, 10 December 2011 20:20 (twelve years ago) link

For anyone playing the drinking game, Louis just hit four in one sentence.

yes this is the real (snoball), Saturday, 10 December 2011 20:24 (twelve years ago) link

"YOU'RE IN THE FINAL YOU'RE IN WEMBLEY"

does louis say these things to remind himself??

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Saturday, 10 December 2011 20:27 (twelve years ago) link

that was shit, anyway. it was like a halifax advert

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Saturday, 10 December 2011 20:27 (twelve years ago) link

Ouch!

xp Every morning when he walks into the bathroom he probably shouts "YOU'RE IRISH YOU'RE LOOKING IN A MIRROR"

yes this is the real (snoball), Saturday, 10 December 2011 20:28 (twelve years ago) link

And if you though Little Mix dressed like an explosion in a charity shop, then take a look at their fans.

yes this is the real (snoball), Saturday, 10 December 2011 20:30 (twelve years ago) link

Of course it wouldn't be a Little Mix performance if at least one of them didn't fuck up the lyrics.

yes this is the real (snoball), Saturday, 10 December 2011 20:33 (twelve years ago) link

the stylists must loathe little mix so much

that wasn't bad! these days whenever i hear that song i am just thankful it's not florence :(

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Saturday, 10 December 2011 20:40 (twelve years ago) link

a friend had a tenner on Little Mix to win the show at 18-1, so for her sake i'd like them to be the undeserving winners of this farce

Maybe Bartering Will Help (Julie Lagger), Saturday, 10 December 2011 20:42 (twelve years ago) link

I think it's going to be Marcus and Amelia.

yes this is the real (snoball), Saturday, 10 December 2011 20:48 (twelve years ago) link

haha did they run out of budget for amelia? that was shit though, so strident. xtina is the epitome of subtlety compared to her

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Saturday, 10 December 2011 20:48 (twelve years ago) link

it's not like singers of Amelia's ilk are particularly popular or chartable at the moment, the only reason she's still there is cos this is a popularity contest not a talent contest.

Ban (Julie Lagger), Saturday, 10 December 2011 20:50 (twelve years ago) link

also she got to skip so many weeks! no way would she be here if she'd had to perform every week.

the tutu ;_;

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Saturday, 10 December 2011 20:51 (twelve years ago) link

The tutu is at least slightly more practical than Tulisa's Woolworth's lampshade.

yes this is the real (snoball), Saturday, 10 December 2011 20:52 (twelve years ago) link

If this next bit isn't 'JLS beat Wand Erection with sticks' then I'm going to be dissapointed.

yes this is the real (snoball), Saturday, 10 December 2011 20:52 (twelve years ago) link

Zane looking as clueless and disoriented as ever.

yes this is the real (snoball), Saturday, 10 December 2011 20:55 (twelve years ago) link

kind of funny how JLS brought out all their snazzy dance moves but 1D were incapable of doing anything except vague arrhythmic skipping

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Saturday, 10 December 2011 20:58 (twelve years ago) link

lol at Louis sitting there by himself next to three empty chairs

yes this is the real (snoball), Saturday, 10 December 2011 21:02 (twelve years ago) link

he's used to it

Ban (Julie Lagger), Saturday, 10 December 2011 21:02 (twelve years ago) link

Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

yes this is the real (snoball), Saturday, 10 December 2011 21:04 (twelve years ago) link

#THENEWBORING ALERT

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Saturday, 10 December 2011 21:05 (twelve years ago) link

ffs why is everything Barlow does so fucking pedestrian?

yes this is the real (snoball), Saturday, 10 December 2011 21:06 (twelve years ago) link

i know, i know!

Ban (Julie Lagger), Saturday, 10 December 2011 21:09 (twelve years ago) link

It was like a musical act on The Two Ronnies circa 1985.

yes this is the real (snoball), Saturday, 10 December 2011 21:10 (twelve years ago) link

"connecting with the girls" for Tulisa clearly meant "standing in the middle and having your vocals turned up louder than theirs"

yes this is the real (snoball), Saturday, 10 December 2011 21:13 (twelve years ago) link

robbed of a kitty/louis duet ;_;

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Saturday, 10 December 2011 21:17 (twelve years ago) link

He said he wanted to duet with Johnny!

yes this is the real (snoball), Saturday, 10 December 2011 21:17 (twelve years ago) link

what actually happens in terms of results? one act gets voted out tonight? then somehow they pad the results over two hours tomorrow night?

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Saturday, 10 December 2011 21:19 (twelve years ago) link

Yes, one act goes tonight.

yes this is the real (snoball), Saturday, 10 December 2011 21:20 (twelve years ago) link

Wait a sec, Louis' fucked off stage!

yes this is the real (snoball), Saturday, 10 December 2011 21:23 (twelve years ago) link

And that Kelly/Amelia joint was pretty good.

yes this is the real (snoball), Saturday, 10 December 2011 21:23 (twelve years ago) link

i actually really fucking love leona's version of that song

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Saturday, 10 December 2011 21:33 (twelve years ago) link

and i'd forgotten how amazing her voice is, because she hasn't sung a decent song since "bleeding love"

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Saturday, 10 December 2011 21:34 (twelve years ago) link

"A Roomba for Christmas Day" wtf? Bubbles really fucking up this song.

yes this is the real (snoball), Saturday, 10 December 2011 21:44 (twelve years ago) link

Amelolia

Ban (Julie Lagger), Saturday, 10 December 2011 22:07 (twelve years ago) link

Catching up now. Really, Little Mix can't win because they have the worst name ever. Seriously, Little Mix? Really?

ailsa, Sunday, 11 December 2011 12:17 (twelve years ago) link

and tulisa keeps pronouncing it lidl mix :(

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Sunday, 11 December 2011 18:11 (twelve years ago) link

I've noticed that sometimes she does, other times she's careful to pronounce the double-t properly. Because of my accent, I pronounce it Lidl Mix all the time.

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 18:21 (twelve years ago) link

I couldn't call tonight's result though. It's the pensioner vote vs the young teenage girl vote.

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 18:22 (twelve years ago) link

me neither, it also feels weirdly like it doesn't matter at all b/c everyone's too attuned to the contestants' likely post-xf career trajectories and whether they actually win or not is immaterial to those

it keeps crossing my mind that they may have deliberately showcased a lower standard of contestant this year: last year was anomalous in that it gave us three viable long term pop acts (plus the winner lol), and i'd imagine it might be wise to be careful about saturating the market with xf contestants? you kind of want to give everyone a bit of a chance to breathe

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Sunday, 11 December 2011 18:43 (twelve years ago) link

lol I actually had to look up on Wikipedia who won last year.

This is the first year that everyone (contestants/audience/media/judges - in that order of realisation) has twigged that winning is irrelevant.

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 19:22 (twelve years ago) link

(maybe the order should be audience/contestants/media/judges)

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 19:23 (twelve years ago) link

Prepare for two hours of tedium followed by one minute of Dermot dragging out a dramatic pause before a moment of excitement more tedium.

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 19:25 (twelve years ago) link

it's almost like this came about b/c last year's edition was SO good - in that 2010 unearthed a real diversity of viable acts who forced upon cowell and co the belated realisation that popularity on the show and popularity outside it were v different things - whereas previously even the best non-winners were cut from much the same cloth as each other.

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Sunday, 11 December 2011 19:27 (twelve years ago) link

coldplay and fucking westlife? why the fuck am i watching this?

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Sunday, 11 December 2011 19:31 (twelve years ago) link

it keeps crossing my mind that they may have deliberately showcased a lower standard of contestant this year:

I think it's more that they've squashed the individuality out of the contestants much harder this year...

a real diversity of viable acts who forced upon cowell and co

^^^ for this reason

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 19:31 (twelve years ago) link

weirdly it's actually how limited last year's lot were that makes them such viable pop stars - rebecca/cher/wand basically do what they do and are incapable of doing anything else - and in the pop marketplace that translates into having a rigorous and coherent aesthetic

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Sunday, 11 December 2011 19:33 (twelve years ago) link

whereas misha is versatile and talented enough that you CAN squash her individuality, if that makes sense

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Sunday, 11 December 2011 19:34 (twelve years ago) link

bloody hell how many songs are they going to ruin in this group number?

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 19:37 (twelve years ago) link

"X Factor finest" more like Tesco Basics...

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 19:38 (twelve years ago) link

i think i've heard kitty do "the edge of glory" more than gaga herself now

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Sunday, 11 December 2011 19:42 (twelve years ago) link

oh adverts already lol? but nothing happened in that section

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Sunday, 11 December 2011 19:42 (twelve years ago) link

I pretty much think nothing is going to happen at all, except padding and then they tell us who wins.

ailsa, Sunday, 11 December 2011 19:46 (twelve years ago) link

i'm crossing my fingers that nothing happens instead of coldplayandwestlife tbh. just a blank screen will do

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Sunday, 11 December 2011 19:48 (twelve years ago) link

Well Marcus sings 'Higher and Higher' again, so Louis can compare him to Jackie Jockey Wilson.

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 19:49 (twelve years ago) link

Coldplay are pretty much a blank screen anyway. And then sometimes Chris Martin pumps his arm in the air. Does anyone know what this 'Westlife's farewell performance' bobbins is?

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 19:50 (twelve years ago) link

ffs Olly is such a crap TV presenter, even Caroline Flack looks competant compared to him

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 19:53 (twelve years ago) link

oh another commercial break

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 19:53 (twelve years ago) link

Tulisa concentrating so hard on getting her gimmick comedy 'little muffins' accent right that she pronounces their name 'Lidl Mix' again.

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:01 (twelve years ago) link

no snark lidl mix's "don't let go" is properly fantastic

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:03 (twelve years ago) link

Well it's better than most X Factor groups could have managed - apart from Miss Frank ;_;

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:03 (twelve years ago) link

Olly is like a spare tyre on the back of a sleigh for all the use he is.

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:05 (twelve years ago) link

kind of embarrassing how shaky marcus' vocals are :/

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:13 (twelve years ago) link

Marcus's performance of 'Last Christmas' is heading for Wet Wet Wet territory. I blame Gary entirely. lol at the cameraman falling over though

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:14 (twelve years ago) link

I bet Denis Norden/Harry Hill will be playing that clip until the Sun burns out.

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:15 (twelve years ago) link

"ha ha" (touches corner of glasses) "and here. we. have. a-a-a very funnee clip" (smirks)

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:15 (twelve years ago) link

No comedy accent Tulisa? What's wrong, blood sugar running low?

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:18 (twelve years ago) link

Or maybe she's just taken a look at the sales for N'Dubz greatest hits album.

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:18 (twelve years ago) link

what the fuck is this? they could've done mariah!

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:19 (twelve years ago) link

All I Want For Christmas Is You Olly's head on a stick

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:19 (twelve years ago) link

Those gold leggings have to be the worst of the worst of the clobber that they've worn. The stylists must have reached the absolute bottom of the hamper they stole from that charity shop.

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:21 (twelve years ago) link

kelly should've said her highlight of the series was doing her sick voice

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:25 (twelve years ago) link

Westlife pish their last as the live backing music for an XF contestant VT montage, smdh/rmde/obe/phd/bbc and bar

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:27 (twelve years ago) link

there's still another HOUR left

kelly wants this to end and so do i

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:30 (twelve years ago) link

^^^ yeah I just looked at my watch and o_O wtf

And someone will surely get their P45 first thing tomorrow morning for allowing that microsecond clip of the Cokehoser in there.

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:31 (twelve years ago) link

"sex factor story" nice Freudian slip there Barlow

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:35 (twelve years ago) link

well, this is shit.

ailsa, Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:39 (twelve years ago) link

And the winner's song isn't a Barlow joint - guess he couldn't get his mojo working. It's a cover version of a song first released in 2003 - ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Factor

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:39 (twelve years ago) link

this is absolutely dreadful

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:39 (twelve years ago) link

"If I fed everything into a computer" wtf Louis?
piss awful, terrible enunciaation of crepe-y lyrics

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:41 (twelve years ago) link

oh god we have to hear that fucking song again

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:44 (twelve years ago) link

Except it'll be even worse because it's a song for a solo singer.
Tulisa doesn't seem very excited - perhaps she thinks she's back introducing The Risk.

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:45 (twelve years ago) link

the length of time over this is ridiculous, are they pulling some kind of fiddle so the aggregate viewers beats Strictly or something?

Ban (Julie Lagger), Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:48 (twelve years ago) link

there are still 40 minutes left!

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:50 (twelve years ago) link

Which includes a performance by Coldplay, so it'll seem even longer.

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:51 (twelve years ago) link

If they wheeled on Matt Cardle for a song then time might actually start to go backwards.

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:52 (twelve years ago) link

Am currently thanking every deity I can think of that we have been spared the ordeal of listening to Janet mimsying her way through that. And being glad Misha didn't have to do it either.

ailsa, Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:54 (twelve years ago) link

Gary Barlow is a pretty hit and miss songwriter y/n? Like for his handful of notable classics there is a big pile of nothing there too?

Ban (Julie Lagger), Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:55 (twelve years ago) link

"Get ready to tech santa" - as a 'suddener' I'm not really in a position to complain, but wtf is up with people on telly not talking properly?

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:55 (twelve years ago) link

xp his notable classics are pretty much nothing as well - I can't name a single one of his solo songs

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:57 (twelve years ago) link

i was thinking of the big Take That hits, i couldn't hum a G Barlow solo joint

Ban (Julie Lagger), Sunday, 11 December 2011 20:59 (twelve years ago) link

The problem is that the best Take That songs are covers, imo. 'A Million Love Songs' gets a lot of acclaim but he wrote it when he was 15.

listening to Janet mimsying her way through that

If she'd have developed her thousand yard stare performance technique a bit more, Janet would have had the best chance of pulling off those lyrics.

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:01 (twelve years ago) link

"Never Forget", "Back for Good", "Pray" - those are tunes

Ban (Julie Lagger), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:02 (twelve years ago) link

but a lot of really anonymous stuff around them

Ban (Julie Lagger), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:02 (twelve years ago) link

gary's solo career was a notable flop wasn't it?

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:03 (twelve years ago) link

25 more minutes

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:03 (twelve years ago) link

"Never Forget" kind of ruined by continual repetition. Like 'Changes' is for Bowie, it's the video montage song of choice for TT.

Meanwhile, Marcus sounded like he was singing "It's not hard to fore, and I don't want the loo"

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:04 (twelve years ago) link

xxp if by 'flop' you mean 'sold so few records that he got dropped by his record company' than yes.
It takes some mediocrity to make Robbie's early solo career ('Old Before I Die' etc.) look passable, but Barlow did it.

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:05 (twelve years ago) link

Mark Owen's solo career to thread.

ailsa, Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:06 (twelve years ago) link

at the time i don't think anybody explicitly said it was cos the material was so weak, it was more implied that it was cos he was the least sexy/charismatic TT guy?

Ban (Julie Lagger), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:06 (twelve years ago) link

Chris Martin desperately wants to be Bruce Springsteen here. Fails miserably. It's like bits of 'Born To Run' with parts of 'I'm On Fire' and 'Dancing In The Dark', mixed with that dun dun dun duh dun dun dun plinky synth line that appears on every Coldplay song.

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:08 (twelve years ago) link

and with the new AOR respectable-music-journalist-friendly bollocks comeback stuff, Gary hardly has a solo writing credit at all as far as i can tell

Ban (Julie Lagger), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:09 (twelve years ago) link

THIS IS SO BAD!

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:10 (twelve years ago) link

It's like every lame songwriting cliche put into one song!

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:10 (twelve years ago) link

chris martin's sweat :/

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:13 (twelve years ago) link

:D i like a lot of Coldplay's empty yearning music but let's not have that fight here

Ban (Julie Lagger), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:13 (twelve years ago) link

ok so i have some Facebook friends wailing about X Factor ruining a Damien Rice classic? dunno if i've actually heard Damien Rice but i assume i'd hate him so good

Ban (Julie Lagger), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:15 (twelve years ago) link

His is the original version of the winner's song.

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:16 (twelve years ago) link

(I haven't heard the original either, but based on the lyrics that I could make out Marcus and Little Mix actually singing, I think I'd hate Rice as well)

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:17 (twelve years ago) link

yeah i gather that now, but i'm assuming the original is horrible anyway

Ban (Julie Lagger), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:17 (twelve years ago) link

With lines like 'stones taught me to fly' how could it be any good?

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:20 (twelve years ago) link

okay, come on Little Micks

Ban (Julie Lagger), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:20 (twelve years ago) link

fucking finally!

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:20 (twelve years ago) link

I'd like to think that Olly was deliberately quoting Obama there with his "Yes they can!" as some kind of comment on the whole importance of the XF business in relation to world politics. But he probably wasn't.

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:21 (twelve years ago) link

YAAAAY 180 quid for Lorraine :D

Ban (Julie Lagger), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:22 (twelve years ago) link

Well congrats NV, your mate has won £180 (minus tax)

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:22 (twelve years ago) link

:)

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:22 (twelve years ago) link

u don't pay tax on betting wins nowadays ;-)

Ban (Julie Lagger), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:23 (twelve years ago) link

haven't done for near 20 years iirc

Ban (Julie Lagger), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:23 (twelve years ago) link

OIC

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:23 (twelve years ago) link

(to skint to ever place a bet these days)

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:24 (twelve years ago) link

i'm kinda glad for them as well, i don't think winning wd've helped Marcus' "career" in any great way and the burden of being another Cardle might actually be worse

Ban (Julie Lagger), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:24 (twelve years ago) link

What's the smart money on for the anti-X-Factor Christmas number one? Because this really is shite.

ailsa, Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:26 (twelve years ago) link

Marcus will be starring in Jersey Boys or somesuch before long. I think Little Mix might do OK out of this.

ailsa, Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:28 (twelve years ago) link

bonus: RIP the saturdays' career

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:31 (twelve years ago) link

wait, the Saturdays have a career?

Ban (Julie Lagger), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:32 (twelve years ago) link

Actually they've done better than I expected. Their logo has a half formed swastika and the word 'TURD' in it. By rights they should have been the Northern Line of early 21st century girl groups by now.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/8/8f/The_Satz.jpg/220px-The_Satz.jpg

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 21:38 (twelve years ago) link

that show was rank. the irish guy from the IT crowd is being surprisingly sexy and funny on the extra factor.

"pass me the fucking pheasant", Sunday, 11 December 2011 22:08 (twelve years ago) link

I'm not masochistic enough to watch ITV2. Ever.

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 22:10 (twelve years ago) link

I watched the first five minutes, enough to see Louis zinging Caroline Flack for shagging Harry Erection.

ailsa, Sunday, 11 December 2011 22:17 (twelve years ago) link

I guess it's too much to hope that the Walsh-ster's zing was "Harry Erection? Moer liek Harry Premature Ejaculation amirite?"

yes this is the real (snoball), Sunday, 11 December 2011 22:26 (twelve years ago) link

sadly it was just 'I'm too old for you' which he kept repeating like Bruce Forsyth does hoping that someone would twig and laugh.

ailsa, Sunday, 11 December 2011 22:31 (twelve years ago) link

To the tune of the "Friends" theme?

Jilted John and Marsha (MarkG oo la showaddywaddy), Sunday, 11 December 2011 23:52 (twelve years ago) link

I dunno you lot, moan moan moan

Jilted John and Marsha (MarkG oo la showaddywaddy), Monday, 12 December 2011 08:40 (twelve years ago) link

week by week stats - always quite revealing:

The Final Results
Little Mix: 48.3%
Marcus Collins: 42.8%
Amelia Lily (carried over from before the freeze): 8.9%

The Final - vote freeze
Little Mix: 39.0%
Marcus Collins: 34.5%
Amelia Lily: 26.5%

The Semi Final
Little Mix: 34.4%
Marcus Collins: 24.0%
Amelia Lily: 21.4%
Misha B: 20.2%

Week 8
Amelia Lily: 23.8%
Little Mix: 22.4%
Marcus Collins: 21.0%
Janet Devlin: 18.3%
Misha B: 14.5%

Week 7
Little Mix: 26.1%
Misha B: 22.5%
Janet Devlin: 14.8%
Marcus Collins: 14.4%
Amelia Lily: 11.3%
Craig Colton: 10.9%

Week 6
Amelia Lily: 27.4%
Janet Devlin: 17.4%
Little Mix: 15.3%
Marcus Collins: 12.9%
Craig Colton: 10.6%
Kitty Brucknell: 8.4%
Misha B: 8.0%

Week 6 vote in:
Amelia Lily: 48.8%
James Michael: 26.7%
JonJo Kerr: 13.2%
2 Shoes: 11.3%

Week 5
Janet Devlin: 18.0%
Marcus Collins: 16.0%
Misha B: 12.2%
Little Mix: 11.9%
Craig Colton: 10.1%
Frankie Cocozza: 8.7%
Johnny Robinson: 8.3%
Kitty Brucknell: 7.6%
The Risk: 7.2%

Week 4
Janet Devlin: 14.7%
Little Mix: 13.7%
Craig Colton: 13.0%
Kitty Brucknell: 12.9%
Johnny Robinson: 12.2%
Marcus Collins: 10.1%
The Risk: 7.2%
Frankie Cocozza: 5.7%
Sophie Habibis: 5.4%
Misha B: 5.1%
Week 3
Janet Devlin: 17.2%
Johnny Robinson: 17.1%
Misha B: 11.8%
Marcus Collins: 11.2%
The Risk: 8.3%
Little Mix: 6.0%
Frankie Cocozza: 6.0%
Craig Colton: 6.0%
Sophie Habibis: 5.8%
Sami Brookes: 5.6%
Kitty Brucknell: 5.0%

Week 2
Janet Devlin: 23.6%
The Risk: 10.9%
Sophie Habibis: 8.9%
Little Mix: 8.7%
Misha B: 7.8%
Craig Colton: 6.9%
Marcus Collins: 6.8%
Johnny Robinson: 6.5%
Sami Brookes: 6.2%
Kitty Brucknell: 5.9%
Frankie Cocozza: 5.2%
Nu Vibe: 2.6%

Week 1
The judges vote out 2 Shoes, Amelia Lily, James Michael and JonJo Kerr

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Monday, 12 December 2011 09:50 (twelve years ago) link

after week 2, misha came either 2nd, 3rd or last every week.

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Monday, 12 December 2011 09:51 (twelve years ago) link

Am I right in saying only Craig went from a sing-off when he was bottom, the lowest-placed act was saved every other time?

ailsa, Monday, 12 December 2011 11:20 (twelve years ago) link

Apart from the one time it went to deadlock?

Jilted John and Marsha (MarkG oo la showaddywaddy), Monday, 12 December 2011 12:03 (twelve years ago) link

(xp)
The same thing happened to No Vibe in Week 2.
The Risk got the lowest number of votes in Week 5, but it was a double elimination week, so they were eliminated entirely on the public's decision.

yes this is the real (snoball), Monday, 12 December 2011 12:09 (twelve years ago) link

xp and it was Craig who went as a result of that deadlock

yes this is the real (snoball), Monday, 12 December 2011 12:11 (twelve years ago) link

So apart from No Vibe, the judges never eliminated the act with the lowest number of votes.

yes this is the real (snoball), Monday, 12 December 2011 12:11 (twelve years ago) link

Also, the bubble upwards of the FCocoza vote, for the most part!

Jilted John and Marsha (MarkG oo la showaddywaddy), Monday, 12 December 2011 12:13 (twelve years ago) link

so misha's placements were:

5th, 3rd, last, 3rd, last, 2nd, last, last.

that 2nd place was the week they really went in on her sob story - her actual performance wasn't notably better or worse than her other ones, it's remarkable how much bullshit like that can have an effect.

i can't remember cher's placements offhand but suddenly her pop career post-xf looks a bit less assured. and bear in mind misha never quite had a lightning bolt moment on the level of cher's "turn my swag on" or "stay".

really quite surprised that little mix were fairly popular right from the start! never even coming close to the bottom two.

degas-dirty monet (lex pretend), Monday, 12 December 2011 12:22 (twelve years ago) link

xp There's no way of knowing this, but maybe after Cokehoser was kicked, the people who voted for him switched their allegiance to Little Mix? It would account for their strong placing in the latter half of the series, after their earlier mid-table results.

yes this is the real (snoball), Monday, 12 December 2011 12:24 (twelve years ago) link

xp I kind of thins of Cher as being moments of total brilliance, with a baseline of passable, and the occasional dire wreck (SwagJag). Misha is more like a continually applied pressure. But in a way that's a disadvantage. Misha is so confident and assured that she's more reluctant to leave her comfort zone (drink a shot) and take risks the way Cher did. Because of that, I still like Cher more. But with the current play-it-safe music industry, Misha may go further because Syco may be more prepared to put more weight behind an act who - while nevertheless exciting - is less risky.

yes this is the real (snoball), Monday, 12 December 2011 12:28 (twelve years ago) link

thins = think

yes this is the real (snoball), Monday, 12 December 2011 12:28 (twelve years ago) link

I know it's bad to repost external comments, but:

It seems to me that most people seem to be missing an important point ,that is that an average of 11million people have watched Xfactor this series, which is nearly 20% of the UK population, so we are all moorons then!??.

Jilted John and Marsha (MarkG oo la showaddywaddy), Monday, 12 December 2011 15:41 (twelve years ago) link

coldplay forums have been particularly great since they announced they were doing x factor. x factor just aint AUTHENTIC enough for coldplay ya see.

Lucas: loved by chris, lots and lots (Chris), Monday, 12 December 2011 16:40 (twelve years ago) link

I dunno, the audience seemed way more enthusiastic about watching the Colplays than the final acts and the winner and all that.

Jilted John and Marsha (MarkG oo la showaddywaddy), Monday, 12 December 2011 16:44 (twelve years ago) link

Two men who poured boiling water over a man's head during a row over last year's X Factor final have been jailed.

Brian Wade was badly scalded and part of his ear was bitten off during the attack at his Exeter home in December 2010.

Lee Stynes, 28, and Mathew Gannaway-Pitts, 18, of no fixed address, pleaded guilty to grievous bodily harm at an earlier hearing.

Gannaway-Pitts was jailed for 16 months and Stynes was jailed indefinitely.

Exeter Crown Court was told Mr Wade was attacked after an argument between the three men about who would win the ITV talent show final between Matt Cardle and Rebecca Ferguson.
Public protection

Stynes and Gannaway-Pitts had been staying at Mr Wade's flat when the assault took place.

Although Gannaway-Pitts started the unprovoked attack, it was Stynes who poured the boiling water over the victim and bit off part of his left ear, the court heard.

Stynes admitted causing grievous bodily harm with intent and Gannaway-Pitts admitted inflicting grievous bodily harm.

Stynes, a paranoid schizophrenic with a past history of violence, was jailed indefinitely for public protection.

Among his 42 previous convictions, two were for threatening to bite people's noses off and one was for throwing boiling water at someone.

Judge Erik Salomonsen told the men: "Regardless of who started it, you have been involved in a horrific attack."

Stynes will serve a minimum of three years and four-and-a-half months but will only be released when he is deemed not to be a danger to the public.

Gannaway-Pitts was released on licence because he had served almost a year on remand.

Minga Frump (Jimmy Riddle), Monday, 12 December 2011 17:19 (twelve years ago) link

i missed the final because i was at atp and then we couldn't get it to stream at 5am :(. though we did instead spend two hours doing louis lines leading towards the kind of depiction of louis' life snoball went for upthread (YEER A TOOTHBRUSH, YEER IN ME MOUTH, YE PREVENT ME FROM GETTING CAVITIES, AND YE DESORVE TA BE IN THE FOINAL!), so it was a good x factor final night nevertheless. aside from the fact that YE DESORVE TA BE IN THE FOINAL has been circulating in my head ever since. YEER PHAROAH SANDERS, YEER PLAYING A SAXOPHONE, YE REMOIND ME OF A YOUNG LENNY HENRY, AND YE DESORVE TA BE IN THE FOINAL!

m. yeux, Wednesday, 14 December 2011 22:20 (twelve years ago) link


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