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Sand + box + gays = vagina jokes.

well, we can't set up a Toolbox.

Stevie and I were talking about how "are you a feminist" is a good litmus test question for potential boyfriends.

I am not speaking for Stevie, just something he said made me think of it. Anyway, if a guy doesn't identify as a feminist, it's a huge minus.

oh boy.

There's nothing more resistible than a man trying to sound like Alan Alda fishing for applause on Donahue in 1982.

Alan Alda's perm phase?

LOL, with Morbs on this one.

Is that what you read in what I wrote?

my god I just saw said photo.

The focus for me is, if the guy is in a hurry to distance himself from feminism, he's probably not the one for me (fatty).

Oh, that ("photo") reminds me!

Here is the pic of the guy who announces to the world that he gives BJs in The Hole

http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/s720x720/316576_10150489802404579_500794578_10565662_561295317_n.jpg

Ideally, "the one for me" wouldn't make much point of steering the conversation toward how much of a feminist he is.

And it seems like he was being serious about that bruise being the result of a dick-whipping....

Feminism shows itself in deeds though, at least that's how I see it.

Believing in equal rights for women is quite possible to manage without using "ist" words. xxxxxxp

a photo of Alda?

Anyway, this whole thing came up in a conversation about OKC profile making, which is a whole different beast from meeting in outmoded ways and being like "Hi, I'm Jesse and I'm a feminist!"

Speaking of which, I was preternaturally socially capable this weekend. It felt like I was taken over by a politician. I met a guy from a previous El stop whose name I remembered, welcomed Michiganders to town, and generally "made connections." I need to circle back with the people I met and get some notes on how to do that again.

The "ist" thing is just a matter of self-presentation. You may not believe it but I don't think you're a bad person, Jesse.

A well-connected Brooklyn florist took me and two ladies to Justin Bond's show at Joe's Pub last night, everything comped! JB did a few Joni and Kate covers I was entirely unfamiliar with, so bad on me, eh? He also did the least prominent Ronee Blakely song from Nashville.

longest weekend ever

(donna btw)

ending w/ Occupy LA?

lol, just wrote about it on the occupy thread

also i did a lot of things i probably shouldn't write about here

*applauds*

It never occurred to me that you might think I was a bad person.

The weather in these parts is bumming me out. Gray, chilly, spitting drizzle, sun setting at 3:30.

This morning my Gmail theme showed snow piling up on my Inbox, but outside the air was empty.

We carry on.

I do spit the drizzle you guys?

I had one of the best first dates ever Sunday (like 2am diner good) and then the next day we met up for lunch and ate shrimp burritos and talked about gender performativity and made out for like 10 minutes, and then we're hanging out Thursday night too. He's super intelligent and witty and has glasses a giant red beard; I'm trying not to get my hopes up but it's sorta difficult not to.

that sounds nice!

this sandbox thing confuses me. I also don't know what spit the drizzle means, though, so I'm just generally confused.

Alex in MTL, btw.

What is confusing you about the sandbox?

When I said spitting drizzle, I just meant that there was spotty, irregular precipitation that fell short of being straight-up drizzle. That is all I know it to mean.

hi gays!

I am a little confused in this sandbox b/c of new user names. I mean, who the f is "Lord Sotosyn"? I'm guessing buffandmaxsmom, but who knows.

Also, hi to you both.

It's Alfred, eighteenth descendant of the greatest English poet laureate.

Should probably have not had so much whiskey on a Wednesday night.

Fuck it. I don't work tomorrow and don't love anyone. *pours another*

Quick, say something scandalous!

Almost updated my FB with status: "Fully ready to enter my long-deferred hot mess period. Suggestions appreciated."

Damn my grandma for friending me.

i had a lot (3) of cocktails tonight

Good morning!

Eric, I had the same trouble Tuesday morning, after spending Monday night consoling my BFF (women problems, mais oui).

i am very sad, i just want to cry all day in bed but i have to go to work and look professional

this year has all but taken it out of me, i don't know what to do anymore

geez surm, that's a bummer to hear. But there's always something to be done, kid.

you know what, i did do something. i googled. and i have discovered a new terminology for my psychological condition. so that's something.

we love you, surm.

and Eric, it's not Wed night if you're off the next day.

I had 2 beers and a shot at my friend's variety/monologues show, where I sat next to gayble TV star Cole Escola as he prepared his bit, and the last act of the night resulted in some onstage accusations of homophobia. Drama!

i just contacted a "renowned" specialist for help - and now i'm going to smoke a cigarette

You can do it, surm.

:::thanks:::

Surm you are a beautiful bouquet of flowers and if you ever need to talk baout stuff you got my info / don't hesitate.

This dude and I have either hung out or texted/IM'd each other every day since Sunday (when we met). He even biked like 3 miles to come visit me on my lunch break yesterday, and tonight we're gonna watch movies and I might cook him dinner and then we're going to some dance party. I think I'm smitten.

surm, we got your back.

Stevie, it sounds like I don't need to fwd you the info about the upcoming 'bearpig' event at the NY Eagle, then.

thx freddy

psych problems are the worst. sorry, surm. i'm long-term crazy, so if you have any questions maybe i can help.

Stevie, that sounds intense and exciting.

u do Jess? maybe i should IM u sometime

maybe on the book of face

I like that – the Book of Face.

I'm long-term depresso (no diagnosis or treatment till I was 18, but it seems to go back to about 6th grade), with attendant anxieties, esp. social anxiety. The only DSM diagnosis a doc ever shared with me was hypothymia, which is a good shortcut label (basically a chronic, low-grade depression - I think the DSM may have changed the term), though I have a wider range of ups and downs that I don't think are described by that term.

^^ That paragraph reminds me of what I hear from Brits about Americans being very/too open about their psychological health.

thank u for being open j

oh no i don't like to read sad surm. it seems so out of character and not how things should be.

<3 Big Freedia <3

A guy I met in therapy said he first tried to kill himself when he was 9 by lying face down in a puddle. He tried that a few times, he said. Later he tried more effective means. The guy was a mortician.

oh did you go eric?

(also, jesse: cyclothymia?)

Uh, apropos of... Never mind

Oh weird xps don't work the same way in the sandbox.

Rivergbx, it was called hypothymia.

http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/_/dict.aspx?word=hypothymia

No no no! DYSthymia!

I remembered bc Jenny and I joked about dystopia.

In any case, labeling is libeling, but when a term is a meaningful shortcut, it's useful. (see also: feminism)

I totally did go, and I'm absolutely glad I did. Was a little preoccupied with the fact that there were only about 3 or 4 not-white people in the audience, but it was still a great, booty-gyrating show.

yeah my friend (not white btw) said it was great

Minnesota booty battles are o_0

omg I wonder if she did one

I'd think a Minnesota booty battle would involve a pedestrian bottleneck in three feet of snow.

What did she look like? Was she a little thick?

If so, she won the shit out of that battle.

Wtf is a booty battle? "Minnesota booty battle" sounds euphemistic.

nah she is a tiny (5') nigerian gal

I haven't been dancing in nine months; my chassis needs a workout.

Yeah, don't think I saw her on stage, what with Freedia's gyrations.

tabes! are you having a fb article with that guy from that nyt poetry article right now?

fb argument that is

Is table registered here? I just saw some comments of t's go by on the ticker thing but when I tried to click on one, it said it was no longer available.

lol! i saw that too and got kind of excited.

Dude update: we've been seeing each other a LOT. In fact, I think the only day we didn't see each other at all was Tuesday. The dinner/movie night thing was amazing and things are moving super quickly and I feel like we're p much "dating" or something at this point. We've talked about not rushing into a relationship and getting to know each other better first but we've spent a few nights cuddling each other to sleep and it's fucking awesome.

:)

WTF. Of COURSE there is someone in the comments defending that guy! He makes an convoluted and verbose argument that maybe the guy just didn't know it was wrong, unethical, illegal, and grounds for disbarment to make sex a secretary's job duty. Apparently the guy was distracted by people's misapprehension that he was too rich.

It is common sense that is missing in this situation. We are intensely focused on other things, particularly getting educated, and then trying to earn a living in a world in which, even if we just barely make enough money to cover overhead, almost every person we deal with, including many who should know better, considers us over-paid. Such concerns can and do relegate the normal rules of interaction to a dangerously low position on the priority list.

Scott Thompson on gays being "poodles" for women and his variation on It Gets Better: "You fucking punch him in the face."

http://www.pridesource.com/article.html?article=49944

http://beta.images.theglobeandmail.com/archive/01303/WEB-bronson-poo_1303081cl-5.jpg

(speaking of gays/canada/poodles)

Oh, there's my post that didn't show up on the Chicago thread.

lol

yay @ stevie, btw. i have not been good at remembering that sandbox exists.

i did have an argument with that kid, Alex Dimitrov (fuck him, fuck googleproofing).

he was praising Rita Dove's recent defense of an anthology she edited that received a poor review from Helen Vendler, an evil poetry witch if there ever was one.

anyway.

I said:
What I'm wondering is whether such an anthology is necessary when so many others are already out there. Neither Dove nor Vendler are my cup of tea— Dove because her work doesn't really do much with words except put them on paper, line-breaks seemingly thrown in at random, and Vendler because she's snotty and racist and a bit too invested in dead white men. I do feel, however, that Dove's stance of making poetry 'accessible' to be condescending and infantilizing, and can agree with any criticism on those points.

In the end, though, I have no idea as to how this has anything to do with what we, as poets and writers, are doing on a day-to-day basis? Both Vendler and Dove are incredibly successful, tenured, and in my opinion, fucking gross.

Dimitrov:
I don't see how you can say "I have no idea as to how this has anything to do with what we, as poets and writers, are doing on a day-to-day basis." What we are exposed to has everything to do with who we become and who we are. Who is excluded, included, etc. -- all of this matters. That should be obvious by now. To pretend that realities like race, class, gender, etc., have nothing to do with poetry or criticism, is to pretend that we don't have real lives and bodies in the real world. I take great issue with that.

Me:
Nice way of turning it against me when I never actually wrote that those realities don't matter, especially when you're the one who once said, "I don't care about politics, I care about poetry," a totally laughable and ridiculous assertion.

What I meant when I wrote "I have no idea..." was that this is, in essence, a pissing contest between two women who have no connection to anything that has to do with me, the poetry that I write, the poets that I know, or the contemporary poetry that I care about and read.

Dimitrov:
Right, Ted, so because it has nothing to do with you, you don't see why it matters or what this has to do with what "we" do as poets and writers. Why it's a big deal that an African American woman is editing this anthology, why it's a big deal that more poets of colors are included, women, etc. Well, it is a big deal. And it matters. And it matters to some of us that don't identify as those minorities. I would hope it matters to all of us.

Me:
Well, it doesn't.

and then it ended. my old prof from undergrad years wrote me and said, "lol lol you're taking on Dimitrov, be careful! he's small but quick, he can cut a bitch!" and all i said was, "i could lay him on the ground in seconds."

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ujp6431DEJg/TsW__8gjiZI/AAAAAAAAAe8/dJpcjLQi0CY/s1600/Marie%2BHowe%2Band%2BAlex%2BDimitrov.jpg

"He's gonna aim low. Think body. Crouch like a tiger, hide like a dragon!"

everything about him fills me with a rage so intense that i find it difficult to think about him unless his horribleness confronts me.

NIce pants, tho.

I quite liked Vendler's review, tabes, and laughed out loud in the library at the excerpts of Dove's prose.

sounds like you'll bed Dimitrov by the end of the year though.

I haven't followed Vendler for years but her early stewardship of Merrill, Bishop, and O'Hara helped.

My guy and I had out first Serious Conversation last night, the kind where you let your guard down and open up and talk about life and insecurities whars REALLY going on inside and all of that shit you always try to, like, avoid discussing with other people. This kid is so brilliant; I'm really excited about him and he feels the same way about me. I think we're really on to something good here.

\(^o^)/

Congratulations, Stevie!

That's really great Stevie! I'm happy for you. What's this guy like?

good goin, buddy

Oh I forgot to mention that all of this came after we went to a bar but decided we were hungry and split after 2 pints, but at 11:30 could only find a 7-Eleven open, so we had a 7-Eleven date with taquitos and maple pancake sausage rollers and cheeseburger big bites and the obligatory cola Slurpee which we consumed standing under the awning next to the trash can to avoid the rain. And this whole Serious Conversation happened walking our bikes in a light drizzle and then sitting on a stoop for like 20 minutes holding hands with his head on my shoulder staring up into the rain. It was absurdly romantic.

What's he like? Graduated from a really good art school, brilliant arist (technically speaking, at least), really dry but affectionate sense of humor

V. sweet.

Are you off the vegetarian diet?

Maple pancake rollers are as delicious as they are unappealing.

Wait I didn't mean to post that yet. He's into feminism and really good at holding intellectually stimulating conversations. He's also not an asshole, which most everyone else seems to be on some level. Like I don't have to worry about him making snide degrading remarks about women/minorities/etc (Its frightening how many people do this!). He's also short and skinny and furry (but it's mostly a fine reddish-blonde) and has a lovely red beard and cute glasses and the thickest hair I've ever seen in my life. I am p much totally completely smitten w this dude

yes yes that's fine and all but HOW GOOD AT KARAOKE IS HE

jk, that is awesome news, stevie :)

good at karaoke is still the most counterproductive trait I can think of

If the aversion to Timberlake wasn't already an indication, here's the proof I need that you and I could never date.

*crosses self*

I can't sing, but if I could I wouldn't try it while drunk, for drunks.

i'm still not 100% convinced this is true, but if it turns out that way, i officially have no more use for the castro:

http://mpetrelis.blogspot.com/2011/12/castro-theatre-live-acts-replacing-all.html

the horror! Wish I had seen Duck Soup in July.

btwn this and the Eagle, I have much less use for San Francisco.

i saw 'the rules of the game' there. about as perfect a filmgoing experience as one could have. this really blows.

PS tabes I saw this piece at an AIDS art show and immediately thought of you and what you'd make of it

http://i934.photobucket.com/albums/ad184/sdolnack/a78af26c.jpg
http://i934.photobucket.com/albums/ad184/sdolnack/472fc7d4.jpg

Awesome art, awful "poem."

Yeah pretty much. That poem is... embarrassing.

*conspires*

Ginsberg has inspired more drivel than Merrill could ever hope for.

I could only skim over it at work, so I want to ask, is it pro-barebacking?

It reminded me of the BB manifesto by the guy who runs Tr3@sur3 I5l@nd M3d!@.

i guess if your eyes magically changed it to a bb manifesto it would?

last night i particpated in some c2c action with a gentleman named paul

i sure did. nice chap.

Congrats!

I just noticed the last part about...keep co-mingling or something. Maybe it was a Rorschach thing.

xp

i'm sympathetic to the general "thrust" of that "art" "piece" but it's pretty dumb imo. xp

What is c2c?

cheek 2 cheek?

it is "cam2cam"

i know, how terrible

c 2 shining c

can u eve

was hoping for cat2cat

i just know one of these days somebody from my place of work is going to be online

ew cat2cat

killer to killer

i'm still not 100% convinced this is true, but if it turns out that way, i officially have no more use for the castro:

http://mpetrelis.blogspot.com/2011/12/castro-theatre-live-acts-replacing-all.html

my friend that works for SF Film Society says that is false.

yeah, their FB page says it's a false rumor

figured when the OG source was one anonymous "insider"

i had to listen to an ad for mucinex, and it wasn't even true - kinda pissed at petrelis

stevie....uh, yeah, that was kind of embarassing. i like the beginning well enough, but from there....yuk.

congrats on your red furry friend. he sounds rad. will i meet him if we hang out when I'M IN PHILLY FROM THE 13-18??

and in terms of the castro theatre thing, yeah i've heard that's a rumor, too. also, morbz, hole in the wall and powerhouse are still excellent places to go, tho i must admit: th30 and i went to the latter last friday night, and the entire place shimmered with the pale chattering of meth and AIDS, and so we had to leave.

OH... and i know some things about Dimitrov in bed, and let's just say it is soooooo not happening, no matter the circumstances. plus, alfred, you seem to forget that i only have sex with people i like. or find attractive. or people who are intelligent. and he is none of those things.

i know some things about Dimitrov in bed, and let's just say it is soooooo not happening

Can we say more than JUST that, please??

rolling sandbox sex lives of people we hate thread 2011

maybe just a "realm":

predilections
behavior
anatomy
bodily functions
disease

jesse:

- he's a bossy bottom who won't top— this, tbh, is a dealbreaker in my book.

- he's not into even more vanilla bdsm. and at this point in my life, i'm rather into bdsm, so that's a dealbreaker.

- he doesn't like cuddling. even a little puppy slave sub like myself likes to cuddle.

there you have it. all from a friend and former housemate who dated DiDi (as we call him) for a couple months.

bossy bottom

oh please god I hope this is a Sweet Pickles character.

Oh -- who are the Chicago gays? I'll be there Sunday-Wed.

Me me! Where are you staying, what are you doing? Is Corey on here? I don't know who's who for sure right now.

T- that sounds terrible. Not into cuddling is terrible. If he's averse to even lite kink, that's not good either. Not sure what I think about being a bossy bottom. Not sure what bossy might mean, but it sounds bad.

Not kissing or cuddling is the biggest nagl of all time IMO. And I'll be in New Haven most of that week but I should be around the 17th and 18th! Though I work both days (at that natural foods store on 4th two blocks below South; have you been?)

Also can someone please explain to me refusing to top? Like I know that people have reasons for not wanting to bottom (physical discomfort, power dynamics/a threat to one's masculinity, etc) which are sometimes shitty (lol npi) but still make sense, but refusing to top is just bizarre. Does it come down to being so fucking selfish that you refuse to do anything that gets other people off if it doesn't get you off too? Like there's no discomfort in topping; at the very worst it just doesn't do anything for you. ijdgi.

My issue with toppings is that about 50% of the time, using a condom makes me lose my erection. This wasn't the case with a long-term partner, but definitely with newer folks.

But never topping is weird. I've been w/ a couple guys who said they had never topped - it's just - how is that possible?

tomorrow's the feast of the immaculate conception!

you know, ppl like what they like.

Make a Venn diagram of bossy bottoms and power bottoms!

and include it in a poetry anthology!

umm hello? people - refusing to top is not always just bc someone doesn't feel like it. for fuck's sake. sometimes ppl like, can't top. yeah. it's a thing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqp_0B3zq1E

The pronunciation manual videos are my new favorite thing on the whole web right now. This one is one of the best.

sometimes ppl like, can't top. yeah. it's a thing.

The existence of double-ended dildos should itself confirm this.

sometimes ppl like, can't top. yeah. it's a thing.

yeah and imho, those people suck at sex, so i don't want to have anything to do with them,

Maybe we shouldn't have FB re-friended.

I think u mean suck badly at sex.

umm hello? people - refusing to top is not always just bc someone doesn't feel like it. for fuck's sake. sometimes ppl like, can't top. yeah. it's a thing.

― surm, Thursday, December 8, 2011 5:03 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Permalink

Really? Is it a psychological thing, like a discomfort in playing a certain role, or is it an actual physical difficulty/inability? Or sometimes both?

it's both. and tbh, i would not want to be associate with somebody who would not want to have anything to do with me bc i may or may not suck at sex.

like, what a fucked attitude. looks like you might be missing out on a lot of good people in the world.

i have had difficulty with sex in the past. i don't pretend to be some kind of casanova. i've only topped once. it's hard for me. i can't drive either. guess i'm lucky i have any friends at all.

i mean, does it bother me? that i'm a 28 yr old man and i've only done that once? yes it does. do i give a flying fuck that you do not want to have anything to do with me bc of it? i'll survive tbh.

my favorite men from the past are the men who have been understanding with me. even on random hookups. a little sweetness goes a long way.

I'm not categorical about any sexual practices except staying safe. If my hookup and I had had a good time before the sweat-and-tears part of the evening, I'll likely overlook any physical awkwardness.

T, that was pretty harsh and it doesn't sound like you thought it through.

I hope I didn't come off as critical bcz my question was one of genuine interest re: something that I knew little or nothing about. And yeah, "strongly dislikes topping" = "bad at sex" is a pretty big generalization to make. I get that versatility can be a really important thing in certain contexts but I wouldn't go so far as to imply that people who don't/can't top are just straight-up bad.

Wd not be surprised if most people think they're not particularly good at sex.

If only they knew how bad people can be.

So has the history of the world for the past twenty years.

World history has been a bad lay lately.

I think we could avoid being hurtful to each other if we make it explicit or implicit that "bad at sex" should mean "not what I am looking for in a lay." And I'd like to think none of us want to hurt each other.

i'm not hurt i'm just sayin

stevie i totes understand where you are coming from

I'm not hurt by people thinking (or, rather, knowing) I'm not a sexy beast. I'm only hurt if they think that's all I'd possibly have to offer.

everybody got a beast and a kitten within

just the way it goes

oui contain multitudes

yeah, it was a little harsh, and what i really meant was, "i don't really want to have anything to do with such a person sexually," not interpersonally/friendship wise. so i retract my statement, sorry i'm such a brutish asshole.

that said, just because i don't want to sleep with someone because they can't/won't/are unable to perform certain functions isn't really something that i think is that unreasonable, or un-'sweet.' it's just a reality that certain people have certain sexual desires and needs— saying that i'm some sort of horrible shitbag because i can't sexually deal with someone who can't switch is pretty unreasonable, too, imho. just as unreasonable as i was being ;_;

just sayin.

o whatever, u set yourself up for it with the way you phrased it and u know it. we all know what's what, but there's a way to say things.

like remember when you called me racist bc i don't want to sleep with asian guys? maybe now you know how it feels yo

someone recently told me i have a "bottom personality"

surm, i am sorry, i didn't mean for it to be so unreasonable, and i actually didn't really 'know it' when i phrased it that way, so don't play the 'i know what's in yr head' game with me. just like i shouldn't have played it with you. it's cool, yr an awesome presence, and i didn't mean to demean you.

i'm not playing any game, and i don't feel demeaned. it's all good.

seriously tho, surm, <3 to you.

in other news relating to how this whole thing got started, Mr. Dimitrov has unfriended me. but i can still see everything he posts. thus, he basically unfriended me so that i cannot shut him down in arguments.

mmmmmmmmmmuah

some queers don't like dissent, including the ones who are Democrats.

that deserved a laugh track.

actually wait, i want to ask: do any of you actively unfriend people on fbook? because i just recently started doing so, and man, it feels FUCKING GREAT.

i rly want to, there be some fucktards on there

I do when it's someone I barely know, but I'm too chickenshit to do it to people just because I dislike them.

Heh, "recently started doing so" ;)

I hide people from my news feed with great prejudice. I actually think it's even more satisfying than unfriending. You are, like, actively ignoring them.

yeah, it's like they're there but only if YOU want them. long-tail socializing ftw

i hide people. i've never encountered opinions offensive enough to warrant defriending (on fb). i also like keeping people within contact in case i need them for anything in the future.

it's been apologised for so i shouldn't drag it up again but i'm not really sure when i last read anything as dickheadedly offensive as "those people suck at sex, so i don't want to have anything to do with them"

i had no idea there was, like, an imperative to be versatile! i've never heard of anyone demanding it before

that's not what was apologized for and it isn't offensive to want/not want certain things from a sex partner but it can be more complicated than that sometimes are we done now

yeah i only de-friended someone once and i think i only did it because either FB hadn't developed the hide feature yet or i just didn't know about it

i realize i have been de-friended and i usually understand why: it's often by people who i met once years ago and have made no attempt since to keep up with, or exes of my friends, etc

If I didn't hide ppl from my newsfeed it would be too damn long, since 80% of my 'friends' are younger and lead more interesting lives than I do.

(j/k obv)

it's 10.30pm on a saturday night and i'm massively hungover and it's freezing outside and i do not know whether to get myself together to go to a house party or just flop into bed

That's one grueling hangover, lex -- you mentioned it about nine hours ago!

well it's not in the fullblown stage any more, just...very tired and vacant. bed is sensible, isn't it? i might just go out for a bit

The have-one-drink ethos as a hangover wanes doesn't work for me anymore.

well i've put my contact lenses in now so i'm committed. i am in a nice zen mood which means i am prepared and will be happy with either the party being underwhelming and me coming home in an hour, or the party ending up being one of those that's still going in 10 hours

WORK it

turn on the radio, what do you hear?? 25 cheerleaders doing a cheer!!!!

i've been talking to a guy i met on ok cupid -- i'm optimistic

the party ending up being one of those that's still going in 10 hours

it was one of these

i feel dreadful now

Something marvelous happens when you cross the bar into your thirties: as your tolerance for 10-hour parties decreases, so does the desire to attend them.

(or at best attend them for five or six hours)

I think I attended one for 2 hours last night! Many ILXors and a variety of fun, and introduced myself to a cute blogger (when his bf stepped away).

I was supposed to leave for Chicago today but I awoke with a sore throat yesterday and it's not improving; didn't want to endure a three-hour plane ride, cold, and the rigors of drinking.

bummer. otoh, it's cold in Chicago.

How are my girls?

Listen you.

"Can I ask you really huge favor?"

Fit twink in the locker room complimented my tattoos and we chatted about Cervantes.

Friendly, confident people are so weird! Not in a bad way. But I can't fathom their motives or ways. Would like to be "friendlier." 11 years in the South taught me nothing!

I can occasionally fake being a friendly, confident people

Does it concern you that it might look fake, and therefore weird?

not enough to stop me.

the confidence part is harder.

Liquor = confidence. For better or for worse.

I don't think there has to be a motive (or, at least, a motive as you think of it, i.e. something self-serving). I love being friendly to people and my motive is simply that I enjoy making others smile and stuff, and sure I mean I guess when you dissect
It one could say that my deeper motive is that it makes me feel important or likable or something but idk, I feel like a lot of it is just "hey, I like it when people are friendly to me and I have an opportunity to be that person"

was totally going tongue-in-cheek up there.... I'm enough of an optimist (when it comes to individuals) to usually want to be friendly to ppl, despite what a snake I am on the internets.

You aways make me smile, Stevie!

My life is becoming filled w gay men btw. At the end of the week I am moving into my new place with this too-cute-for-his-own-good 40something hipster artist type (who is maybe a bit in his own world) and we've sort of become each others new platonic gay buddies. There's another guy living there too (the dude's ex and now friend) but he's only there 3 days a week so it'll mainly just be me and my new gay bro. Kinda excited about having a live-in fag to talk about boys and bikes and clothes with. Also he's good at cooking!

And then there's my dude 5c0tt; we've been dating for 3 wks and I feel like in so many ways he's the guy I've been waiting a while for. We hang out almost every day and we're both excited about doing things together and stuff. I really really really like this dude.

xp aw, you too bud!

"Can I ask you really huge favor?"

Yaaaay.

I am moving, with my bf, into a house with another gay next month. I am excited, we haven't had any roommates for five or six years.

Roommates/housemates, either/or.

I need more live gay pals in my life, but they'd need to read, watch movies, and listen to music too, and none of my few gay pals meet these criteria. We don't have to share opinions -- mine are too brilliant to dispute an yway.

to love oneself is the beginning of etc.

wish i had more gay pals here too

i had enjoyable platonic drinks this week with two separate guys tho so i remain optimistic

i'm going on a (second) date tonight

*nervous.gif*

how was the first?

really good! an easy 2.5 hours at the bar, we hugged as we departed and we've been talking on text/gchat since then.

aw that is about the most PG date story ever related in the gay threads :)

ha, well i'm trying to "go slow" with this one. i mean there's a good chance that we have sex tonight, but two dates seems like enough time.

I just never posted all my dates that consisted of having a cherry phosphate at the St Louis World's Fair in 1904.

loool

"cherry phosphate" sounds like poppers

ha, well i'm trying to "go slow" with this one. i mean there's a good chance that we have sex tonight, but two dates seems like enough time.

Depends how you define sex (and I'm not trying to get TMI). In the last three years if there isn't some groping by the first date I can pretty much say goodbye to my chances on the second or third.

oh i don't mean like full on penetrative sex (which i'm not really into anyway?) -- but i think anything between that and making out is potentially on the table, but we'll see!

i mean before the first date i made a rule to myself that i was just gonna leave it at that

kissing is the best, and requires the least cleanup.

(semi-j/k)

we're about due for a tabes post, no?

if it's a poetic ode to kissing, yes.

i think if we're not doing everything and anything on the first date he might not want to talk to us

now there's the yuletide spirit!

*hopes TITT has a good first-date fisting story up his... sleeve* har har

or something to do w/ sounding & cherry phosphate

Wait who are v shasty and nuhuhuh? Jordan and someone else?

Jordan

yes

matt p

my cat is friendly and confident

like, very

i think i'm gonna have a boyfriend really soon, you guys

HUZZAH!

(But seriously, that's really awesome. Yay for j and Stevie)

And yay for surm's confident friendly cat.

my boy's cat is lounging on a chair and staring at me, but he's normally very friendly.

I'm going to be taking care of him for a week when JF goes home for Christmas.

As of last night/today, it's been a year since JF and I first went out for drinks/hooked up/started dating/whatever the proper thing marking the start of a relationship is.

The problem with starting a relationship in the middle of exams is that planning things for your anniversary are impeded by exams, but we went out for a nice dinner in between studying. Heh.

god damn, alex, an entire year! that's awesome.

If I had a glass I'd raise it to you both.

how'd it go last night?

it went well! we had a nice dinner, then went back to his place for a bit (nothing major went down) then went out w/ his friends where we more or less petted each other under the table, and then instead of going back to his place i went home cuz it was quarter to 12 and i haven't slept much this week and was basically falling asleep

i'm trying not to get really excited but i am, so oh well

^^^ I cannot imagine a better denouement.

it's funny, alfred, that the timeline of this romance was accelerated by you not being able to make it up here

I'll throw rice if you offer an open bar.

aww

possibly i will meet a future bf at the screening of 'l.a. plays itself' (the porn one) i'm going to tonight

(or a future something-else)

xp there's a porn one?

the documentary is 'los angeles plays itself.' the gay porn from 1972 is 'l.a. plays itself' (andersen expounds on this in the doc, if you haven't seen it yet)

I don't remember the porn one ever playing in NY, at least post-Andersen

life is weird and wonderful

do tell!

ah idk

i really like a boy, and he really likes me -- we spent all day basically just kissing each other

aw! :)

I got to tell someone I was wearing my boyfriend's shirt today n_n

"that's nice, sir, but i'm still gonna need to see some photo ID if you're going to deposit these checks"

jordy gettin play!!!!

stevie gettin a bf!!!!

how do they grow up so fast

:-)

i'm pretty sure that i also have a boyfriend

The word will sound very strange for a few days.

i think i'm gonna have a boyfriend really soon, you guys

― v-shasty, Friday, December 16, 2011 6:55 AM (2 days ago) Bookmark Permalink

i think i'll probably never have a boyfriend ever, you guys :(

You and me both. The 10 year mark made it apparent and real for me.

But happy for Stevie and Jordy.

And lol @ "that's nice, sir, but i'm still gonna need to see some photo ID if you're going to deposit these checks"

not only am i the president of the perpetual bachelors' society, i'm also a client

i think i'll probably never have a boyfriend ever, you guys :(

out o' those chains, those chains that bind youuuuuuu

gotta be careful with those self fulfilling prophecies

"I'll never have a boyfriend," may not be the best statement, because it is a prophecy. But nobody likes to talk about the reality that some people who want a mate will not get one. Instead they say well-intentioned but meaningless things like "the right one will come along when you least expect it" and "you will be loved." That's what everyone wants to believe, but those platitudes are dismissive a person's awareness of the realistic possibility that he may well never have a mate.

hello

^ corey btw

hi!

http://static02.mediaite.com/geekosystem/power-grid/images/profiles/292/tanuki-suit_x270.jpg

:D

"I'll never have a boyfriend" isn't as accurate in my case as "I'll never want a boyfriend" is.

speaking of self-fulfilling prophecies, i just disabled my OKC account

congratulation!

I've been "seeing someone" since about late summer and it's going very nicely.

hah i deleted it because i hate dating, not because i've found someone

a little from columns a and b tbh

xp i kno but quitting still deserves a c-grats

i have an active okcupid account but i haven't looked at it in months

:-) <- me irl

http://www.ufodigest.com/news/0108/images/debunkers.jpg

sleepovers on weeknights & shit

You've restored my faith in OKCupid, by the way (I have an ass-ignation tomorrow night).

the idea of okcupid/guardian soulmates still repels me tbh. i've never done it. i have no idea what i'd put on my profile.

been doing it since Clinton was president

okcupid is cool cuz answering questions is more important/telling than what you put in your profile, and it does do a decent enough job of narrowing down ppl that you might be interested in

at least in terms of personality, looks is obv up in the air

You've restored my faith in OKCupid, by the way (I have an ass-ignation tomorrow night).

― Lord Sotosyn, Monday, December 19, 2011 9:51 AM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark

dope

stopped doing it when Clinton was president. xxxp

(sportfucking ads are different, of course)

irrepressible j0y of j0rdan is positively infectious. either that, or it is snowing today and it is my last of exams.

maybe both.

i'm pretty geeked

It's a good week! Friends are returning to town one by one, went to a spectacular tapas place on Saturday night followed by drinks at a new tavern; spent last night wrapping presents and writing.

And it's my second to last work day.

alfred which tapas place

It opened in Wynwood a couple months ago? It's called Wynwood Kitchen & Bar, a location recently reclaimed from vagrants and crack vials by local artists. Wood, the tavern across from it, has a fantastic patio area.

cool

From Saturday night, feeling frisky with a friend:

http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f308/sotoalf/photo-1.jpg

i would definitely have the mussels & clams if i went there.

i had sea bass for xmas lunch on saturday and got to make the inevitable "i got that super bass" joke

and tonight i go to my 6th party in 3 days and then i get to sleep!

seems alfred has good taste in friends

I'm the Douglas Sirk of friendship.

does that mean all of your friends dress in glorious technicolor

and their adult children buy them color TVs to keep them away from the gardener.

In a few decades scholars will wonder why despite the hysterical over-arrangement of sets and furniture Jane Wyman was still wan as fuck.

tree trimmer xp

i'm excited about going back home to see family and friends but i definitely don't like xmas as much as i used to

my bf despises xmas, i can only manage a dazed "whatever."

valley inversions set in last week. it will basically look and feel like mordor here until february. the smog is so bad i have a perpetual headache. of course, ten minutes up the canyon and it's clear, sunny and ten degrees warmer. kicking myself for not saving up for a season pass at one of the ski resorts this year.

I love Christmas being over

"a dazed 'whatever'" = me today, to a t

hey gayz, dr3w says hi, but he won't be tempted by the sandbox.

& mart1n said he's read my posts! I apologized.

hi

hi!

i admire dr3w's willpower

so i have a boyfriend now

i'm wearing his deodorant right now so i smell just like him, it's kinda nice

tryna take things slow, but damn

maybe you'll smile more now in your monthly self-pic, sweetie. :)

i probably will!

now get to work on your dreadful taste in music and baseball teams!

morbs!

i kid bcz i love

get to work on liking Ne-Yo.

get to work on liking Ne-Yo.

― Lord Sotosyn, Tuesday, December 20, 2011 10:47 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Permalink

Even that Champagne Libra Whateverthefuckitwascalled Superhero album?

oh yay, i'm excited about being treated to a fuller range of jordan s facial expressions

hey gays

y'all should read this, it is hilarious:

http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2011/12/gay-art-world-guy-searching-for-rebound-sex.html

3:05 p.m.: Grindr in the back of a cab.

this led me to put on "heart failed (in the back of a taxi)"

3:36, it's cold, I know I'm growing old

Here I am again,
Early morning cold taxi

I don't get it.

a quote from one of the Drive songs.

oh, thank God I've forgotten those already, cept a little of that "hero" shit.

So, the frenemy IMed me

michael If you need something, I'm here. You'll always hold a special place in my heart. That said, let's not fool ourselves that we can be around each other in a healthy, mutually respectful way.

This b/c I wouldn't let him in my building at 2 a.m. when he texted me "I need you to be a good friend right now," and other shit, trying to manipulate me into letting him fuck me.

"I NEED YOU TO BE A GOOD FRIEND RIGHT NOW"!!

That is creepy, creepy shit!

Sounds like you weren't fooling yourself.

meanwhile I've listened to Change's "Hold Tight" six times in thirty minutes.

Jesus Crap, this fucking guy. He's still IMing me, professing love....love that, when not returned, turns to agony. He's a walking telenovela.

This would be kind of awesome if I found him appealing in the least. I'd be all over that.

"hold tight" is the best song chic never wrote

Except for "Paradise" and "Miracles." Damn, that's a gorgeous album.

my boyfriend is gone for six days now, after having spent the night w/ him for 5 of the last 6

i already feel hella bored

we smoked weed and watched music videos w/ this awesome friend of his, then we had sex (VERY HUMBLE BRAG) so that was fun

i've basically spent the last week in a weird state of total buoyancy and happiness crossed with searching for reasons why i'm fucking everything up or in some sort of mirage

sorry for being one those guys itt, idk

Submit to it for as long as the feeling lasts.

thx, al

chicago gays: have you heard anything about this? friend of mine who lives there just posted this on FB:

https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Pink-Panther-Justice-Bureau/342423585771304

also j0rd don't let the "am i fucking this up?" thing get the best of you (he says, from experience) - it's tough to be clear-eyed about this sort of thing but alfred's advice is good

which, speaking of: the martini with a splash of st. germain is my favorite discovery of the week, thanks alfred!

my bf & i sort of talked about it and i've talked to some other friends of mine who basically gave me the same advice but the anxiety is still there

anyway, thx

chicago gays: have you heard anything about this? friend of mine who lives there just posted this on FB:

https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Pink-Panther-Justice-Bureau/342423585771304

― silvana mangano, Wednesday, December 21, 2011 5:31 PM (56 minutes ago) Bookmark Permalink

whoa, i lived just around the corner from archie's for a year and i really liked it. it always struck me as an archetypal chicago corner bar--it's been around for like 50 years, everyone there is super friendly, they have an old hamm's sign ("from the land of sky blue waters"), and they have homemade cheese puffs for bar snacks. one of the bartenders would always say hi to me when i saw her around the neighborhood. i never got to any of the queer nights there, though. really sucks to hear about this.

I had not heard of this group or about the incident at Archie's. Corey lives very near there.

which, speaking of: the martini with a splash of st. germain is my favorite discovery of the week, thanks alfred!

My pleasure! Isn't this refreshing? The sourness of the gin complements the St. Germain.

Oh wow, that story about Archie's is terrible. I'm never going there again.

JF is gone, but I'm curled up in his bed with his cat reading a book.

My bf Phillip is watching Myrrha for me while I'm in FL for the week. She apparently slept cuddled next to him - something she never does with me. ;_;

He is chewing on a blanket, which according to Google is calling smurgling? Why are there words for very particular cat behaviours. I don't understand.

xp Aw. Maybe she just misses your presence and needs more comfort than usual?

actually it's probably the fact that she sleeps by the radiator at home, and his place doesn't have one

according to google or according to crazy cat owners?

(yourselves excluded from the crazy bit, obv)

As much as I talk to my cat, I definitely qualify as crazy.

The house I'm abt to move into comes with the most hyperactive kitten I have evah seen and it mews
and snuggles and then darts across the kitchen and dining room at like 300mph

who else is visiting NYC in holiday interregnum besides donna? and river wolf?

http://i934.photobucket.com/albums/ad184/sdolnack/532537bf.jpg

How long are they visiting?? My guy and I were planning a trip up to NYC soon

wait when did all you people get boyfriends

uhhhh a week ago!

I'm getting a girlfriend just to shake things up a bit.

I'm getting gay married to Alfred's girlfriend.

fuck!

can we get these sig others to post here? thx

can we get corey's cat to post as well?

this is all so fast paced though. maybe i should get a boyfriend.

I will just keep bearding for society matrons

Winter Bearding for Society Matrons: ILX Gays 2011-2012

???

judith, who art thou?

judith is plax

I will be in NYC from the 30th to the 4th! how exciting!

The boy and I are (probably) going to be in NYC from January 2 until the 6th or 7th, but I'm still trying to figure out reasonable accommodations etc. before buying bus tickets.

I'd totally be down for a FAP, but I'm not sure how skittish JF will decide to be. He can be a bit shy.

oh hey.

sarge, i was noticing the other day that you continue to look really fine.

also, morbz and lou and everyone in nyc: i'm sorry. it was a whirlwind weekend, a bit less than 48 hours, and all i could muster was going out and getting wasted with a few of my best friends, then spending the next day recovering, then doing it all again, then eating brunch and leaving.

ha, thanks man

and hey, my boyfriend and i missed each other so much when i was gone it was paaaainnnful, almost. lots of silly text messages. we pulled a "wahoo" in a famous Castro diner the night i got back.

i've sent sooo many gay text messages in the two days that my bf has been gone

the boy and i think that we are the only ones who use emoticons. i do the winking one constantly, as in, ;-) (what i really want to say is that i want to bone you right now)

*code*

i'm trying to test my bf's level of emoticon usage. i can get on some pai mei shit.

he started it with me and i used to be grossed out by it. but then....he converted me.

What is a "wahoo", tabes?

Assuming it's not just an expression of glee at seeing someone you have missed.

i've sent sooo many gay text messages in the two days that my bf has been gone

****tapping foot*****

Christmas cheer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=xRM4EWE53ZU

arrrr i wish i had someone to trade gay text messages with

Holiday spirit must be in the air. I think that SCTV clip is funny, too.

merry Christmas, dearie

"Isn't if funny?! Isn't it true?!" (I love that his Divine sounds nothing like Divine.)

*cute*

I'm watching "Unsolved Mysteries" clips on YouTube.

sup y'all

bored as fuck at work atm

i bought my bf a shirt, a cardigan and underwear last night for xmas \(o_O)/

seriously some1 stop me if i get too boring

definition of "whirlwind"

woah one week and you bought him that much?

a "wahoo" is another term for "dine and ditch." we had a good excuse though- they fucked up our order twice, plus our server was a total dick about it. eh.

idk is that a lot? it's from h&m, so i didn't spend a ton of money or anything

He is chewing on a blanket, which according to Google is calling smurgling? Why are there words for very particular cat behaviours. I don't understand.

― lexferenda, Wednesday, December 21, 2011 11:38 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Permalink

Weird, I didn't know there was a word for that. One of my cats does this like crazy with velour and chenille fabrics. She checks out mentally, kneads, purrs, and drools buckets. So much drool.

"Flehming" is another cat behavior word. It is when they hold their mouths open when smelling something. It always creeps me out.

my cat drools a lot too.

pulling a "wahoo" in a Castro diner sounds like something you might do under the table

lol.

Do you guys want to have a gay fap + river wolf on the 2-4th? Does that work for Lou and morbs and Donna?

I bought Phi11ip a french folio edition of camus's l'etranger and some lapsang souchong

and those were the only xmas gifts I bought for anyone this year tbh

no bf here to speak of. and that's fine with me, tbh. (tho i am glad for those of y'all with newly minted bfs)

also i am only on the east coast til the 28th :( (morbs: if you read this, prob not making it up tonight, sorryyyy)

yeah im really hoping everybody else in my family stuck to the not buying christmas presents deal we made

yeah i have no interest in having a bf either but like i really do wish i had managed to make at least one homo friend here. this is my only regret. i know plenty of lesbians. lesbians love me. i assumed there would be at least a couple gays on my program but i only know for sure about this one impossibly pretty spanish guy who is shy and elusive and who i have never managed to actually speak to. this thread is so weird to read atm. i havent really checked in in a long time and i didn't realise that you would all be in domestic bliss.

question for NYCers: recommendations on cheap places to stay? are hostels actually decent? google is telling me about this NYC loft hostel which looks reasonably priced and decent albeit, very hipstery. Thoughts?

is that the one in wburg, on like n4th or something?
my friend stayed there & liked it, i think the building is p nice

(i looked it up & i think it is maybe a diff place)

Ok. It looks like we're coming down the 2nd or the 3rd and only staying for 3 nights/4 days because I can't talk the stubborn boy into anything. I am totally down for a FAP. Hopefully he can be convinced to join but he's a little skittish with new people.

If not this time, I will be in NYC for sure in March for EMP and we will FAP then

I'll come to NYC... some day.

In about 2003 ago I stayed at a hostile at around 104th and Amsterdam Ave that cost me <$30/night. 2 bunk beds per room, clean, web. I looked it up last year and it still existed. Hostiling America or something like that.

Hosteling, not hostiling....

If not this time, I will be in NYC for sure in March for EMP and we will FAP then

I'll be there too -- this sounds epic. EMP-FAP!

GOD I just returned from a party at which a Venezuelan liberal who works for Bank of America dominated my attention: long bangs, 95-degree-angle nose, perfect English. Single and just broke up with his partner. I haven't had a good crush in months.

my sched might be tight (haven't been to NYC in three years, lots of old pals there), but I'm open to working something out!

I am a well-known river wolf fan, even tho I apparently have no memory of once meeting him.

also I think I prefer John Candy's Divine to Divine #actualcomedy #heresy

guys

1 girl 5 gays

what is this

oh btw i might be in nyc sometime between now and march, but probably not for emp weekend

1 girl 5 gays is the absolute worst.

it's canadian. it's the absolute worst. the host is the worst. the questions are the worst. it's designed for girls who want a gay best friend. it's the worst.

the second guy i ever slept with is occasionally a panelist. which makes me giggle a fair bit.

I saw about 20 minutes of it once and was just like "uhhhhhhh"

I had a big gay dinner party last night for me, my boyf, my two housemates, and one of their boyfs. I made the food (lacinato kale salad w/ a garlic/lemon/Pecorino dressing, Kabocha squash soup, goat cheese and sundried tomato ravioli, and a cranberry-orange swirl cheesecake) and my housemate picked the music ("I'm just going to search for 'Christmas diva' on SoundCloud") and everyone loved it and it was awesome!!

that sounds amazing

It's only around TG and Xmas that, while sober, I feel the urge to go to Steamworks. But it's too depressing to really do.

Maybe not actually depressing, but it seems like it should be depressing.

Not as festive as lying on the couch eating Genoa salami dipped in crushed chili garlic sauce.

lol

found a bottle of who-even-knows-how-many-years-old dewar's in the back of my parents' liquor cabinet.

CHRISTMAS MIRACLE

one thing I do miss from when I still ate meat -- SUMMER SAUSAGE

for some reason "rum and pepsi" sounds way less classy than "rum and coke"

Rum and RC, anyone?

oh, huh, so apparently i have a lesbian cousin. total gaydar fail.

to be fair. cross-gender gaydar might not be as well-tuned, since you have less of a personal stake in knowing that sort of thing?

i dunno. i never had any inkling whatsoever. then again, i've never been close to her. and my cousin i've always thought was obviously gay as fuck is still with her boyfriend 3 or 4 years running.

lol xmas bathhouse

sup with y'all

bored as fuck today

my boyfriend comes back tomorrow

we spent two hours last night more or less staring at each other on skype

shit is gay as fuck

i bought lube today, that was a fun experience

this place was like 75% sex shop/25% head shop, which made for a small but interesting crowd of people

I buy mine from Walgreens u_u

feel like computerised supermarket checkout lanes are finally vindicated by that kinda thing, either that or strident & proud purchasing from retailers

i bought lube today, that was a fun experience

progress!

i sometimes use lube to thin acrylic paint which means i buy a load of it in one go

Yeah I don't mind buying condoms/lube at the normal register. Of course, I don't make a point of doing it there.

i do sometimes for fun, and make loads of chitchat

Browsing at a head shop can turn awkward when you realize you're browsing the crack/meth pipes.

The boy is sending me pictures from isolated rural etc. of abandoned houses in the snow that he discovered while snowshoeing and so forth.

I don't want to be with him because I miss him (well, that too) but because it looks SO FUCKIN COOL

I need to get lube again soon. What did y'all get? Elmo recommended Maximus which I love, and Gun Oil's great too but potentially stainy. I also hear wondrous things about JO but their H2O formula is terrrrrrible.

My ex confessed to me that in a cruising hookup, he and the other guy used Dr Pepper bc that was the only liquid they had available.

i got one (1) small bottle of JO silicon based

will report back

I haven't gotten a new tube in a while; I don't usually go that far.

we aren't using it for anal -- at least not yet (?)

at least not yet (?)

I think you'll know if you're using it for anal.

Should I just cave and buy silicone lube even though it stains? I mean also there's something lovely about being able to flop down after a nice fucking and fall asleep without having to go shower bcz everything just dries away.

The best lube I've ever used was sweet almond oil during a bit of frot and ohhh myyy goooodddd

I mean it was more than just a bit tbh

i forgot you don't have that other thread anymore

we need the real board back so bad.

Good morning. Hoping everyone made it through the nice well lubricated.

I was planning to have my share of casual sex this week (ie, some) but my postcold lingers, and echoey rumbling coughs just aren't a good come-on.

bf's parents are visiting — IOW no sex until they leave (tomorrow or the next day)

watching videos of young dwight yoakam looking really like table around the face i think

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7eQD6Gq3mA

loooooove Dwight Yoakam. No musician's gotten away with writing great songs about assholedom as long as he has.

Co-signed

so somehow i missed the DY boat---where do i start

He's never made a great album. Buenas Noches From a Lonely Room has a killer first side and spotty second one. If There Was a Way comes closest but it's too long. This Time has all the huge radio hits, most of which are melodic and lyrical wonders but rather wooden in the rhythm dept ("A Thousand Miles From Nowhere," "Ain't That Lonely Yet").

but, really, you can't go wrong with one of his comps or one of the first five records (all cheap and easy to find).

Love this one:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uft3DD3GkIw

this is my favourite yoakam song, yoakam is p indebted to buck owens in general and he says this song is specifically influenced by "tiger by the tail" the way it stops and starts

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IYjP65XV74

also his little outfits

saw him at Folk City in a snowstorm circa 1985, about 5 ppl in the joint

(and then later opening for Husker Du)

thx dudes

I like the idea of turning the sandbox gay thread into a Yoakam one.

i don't love it

Dwight Yoakam?

anyway, i'm just saying that i only use Sliquid H20, because i hate everything about silicone lube. everything.

also, hey yall.

dwight yoakam

Dwight Fuckin' Yoakam.

dwight goddamn yoakam

goddamn

stevie d you have an attractive housemate. i saw on facebook.

wait what's wrong with silicone lube

He's an artist too; I was thinking abt how much you'd likely fancy him. We're very friendly and I'm worried it might lead to some level of tension...

i would probably move out

But I just moved in! And he's like my new Philly gay bestie!

i said I would. it would be silly for you to.

this wasn't so much advice as daydreaming.

You should at least go in for a nice shirts-off make-out before you leave.

But he keeps mentioning over and over how he won't date people that are shorter or significantly younger than him, sorta the way closet cases keep mentioning over and over how they're straight.

oh is he tall?

Like 5'10" give or take

lol looks like i'm out of luck

after living with someone for six months the sexual urge seems to dwindle (at least ime)

but I've seen aforementioned roomie and he is pretty (and likes cats!)

Have you been living w your man?

I've said it before, but the best sex I ever had was in LTRs. In the first one, even after 4 years, evenings and days off were unmitigated priapism time. Like skin-abrading f-fests.

I've been sleeping over his house almost every night but not really living w him per se. And truth be told I have little desire to have sex with anyone else atm so roomie is rly nbd. Just glad I didn't move in like 6 months ago.

same here — I get enough sex elsewhere that I don't feel the need to bone my roommates (which would just be weird)

has sarge returned from lovestonedness?

--

(em dash test)

hotttt em dash, tanuki

—_—

I've said it before, but the best sex I ever had was in LTRs. In the first one, even after 4 years, evenings and days off were unmitigated priapism time. Like skin-abrading f-fests.

― Sandbox Jesse, Tuesday, December 27, 2011 7:23 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Permalink

how do you make that happen? school/stress/not-actually-living-together-but-may-as-well-be-given-how-often-we-see-each-other-or-sleep-over has been taking its toll.

Well, we lived together and we were not very busy, so that certainly greased the skids, if you will lololaknfnsddf. But also, he had a very strong sex drive and for me, sex improves with familiarity. (I approach sex and music similarly: I don't like *new* music or romance or sex. They start to be really good after they're worn in and I'm comfortable with them. I absolutely hated the supposedly exciting thrills of new relationships.)

In the 2nd relationship it was similar, except that dude had some major baggage w/r/t sex, so things never flourished quite the same.

Anyway, for me it's like what people say about reading the Bible over and over and learning something each time.

So yeh, my advice is be me, I guess.

Unless you were asking how to get the abrasions, in which case, just ditch the lube.

has sarge returned from lovestonedness?

― Lord Sotosyn, Tuesday, December 27, 2011 6:41 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Permalink

just now!

Good morning!

Which store was the half head/half sex toys store, J?

Tonight I went to one of our city's fine woman-owned sex toy stores and bought my first grown-up adult toy. I was on the bus home with my gym bag and really, really didn't feel like going to the gym, so I made the bargain that I was either going to go to the fucking gym or buy a decent toy. It was not the most expensive one, but it still seemed $$$$, but I believe that you get what you pay for with these things. I certainly hope so, anyway.

It felt a little weird asking the cute lesbians (a couple, apparently) for assistance and information, but they were helpful and knowledgeable, despite their not having prostates (I assume).

ummm it's on belmont, it's called "igor's dungeon" (lol)

oh wow

Oh god that place. I went there once years ago and the owner (he said he was, anyway) let me have it with some over the top high pressure sales. I think I went there for poppers, and he was like, "NOW THIS HERE [$$$ brand], THAT'S TOP O' THE LINE RIGHT THERE, SEE? ONLY A COUPLE BUCKS MORE AND WORTH EVERY PENNY."

I tried to get away, but he kept selling at me, even hollering across the store at me when he was ringing up (and upselling) the bachelorette party ladies. When I went near the videos, he told me about the promo he was running. At the sex toys, he asked if I had any questions, and commented "NOW THAT ONE THERE, THAT'S REAL POPULAR" whenever I let my gaze linger on an item. Same thing at the novelty items and pipes.

God, that guy.

there was a very nice woman at the counter when i was there

wow, there was a turn.

I guess there isnt even gonna be some sort of NY mini-FAP, huh?

We're getting into town the morning of Jan 3rd and we're around until the evening of Jan 6th, so if you guys decide to do something, I can either try to talk the boy into it, or bail on him for an hour or two to grab a drink.

'fraid i'm not likely to make another NY FAP appearance 'til springtime