What is Beethoven doing in his coffin right now? Decomposing.
― lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 03:33 (fourteen years ago) link
What do fish play on the piano? Scales.
Why are Bankers good bike riders?? They are good at keeping their balance!!
― lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 03:34 (fourteen years ago) link
What does a caterpillar do on New Year’s Day? Turns over a new leaf!
Why is someone who never gambles just as bad as a regular gambler? Because he is no better!
― lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 03:35 (fourteen years ago) link
What happens to illegally parked frogs? They get toad away.
what did the constipated mathematician do? he worked things out with a pencil.
― estela, Thursday, 5 November 2009 04:00 (fourteen years ago) link
that wasn't received by magicflakes.org as spam, it was in a book my little brother had called 101 jokes for kids.so was this: what's blue and lies in the gutter covered in crumbs? a dead girl guide.my brother told us those at dinner and our father said, i want you to bring me the book and a marker pen so i can turn it into 99 jokes for kids.
― estela, Thursday, 5 November 2009 04:27 (fourteen years ago) link
his daughter's father
― lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 04:31 (fourteen years ago) link
<3
that was a day of many lols.
― estela, Thursday, 5 November 2009 05:38 (fourteen years ago) link
What is the difference between a photocopier and the whooping cough? One makes facsimiles and the other makes sick families.
― lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 15:56 (fourteen years ago) link
What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie? A dog that runs for help, after he bites your leg off.
(this is not a day of many lols.)
― lxy, Thursday, 5 November 2009 15:57 (fourteen years ago) link
keep em coming.
― estela, Thursday, 5 November 2009 23:29 (fourteen years ago) link
no don't!
― jergins, Friday, 6 November 2009 00:15 (fourteen years ago) link
haha, i knew you would hate this thread!
― lxy, Friday, 6 November 2009 16:19 (fourteen years ago) link
Where does a bird go when it loses its tail? The retail store.
― lxy, Friday, 6 November 2009 16:20 (fourteen years ago) link
Did you hear about the butcher who accidentally backed into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work.
What do you call a crazy blackbird? A raven lunatic!
― lxy, Saturday, 7 November 2009 18:08 (fourteen years ago) link
How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path.
― lxy, Saturday, 7 November 2009 21:47 (fourteen years ago) link
Which of these things don’t belong: A tuna, a lobster, or a Chinese guy run over by a truck? The tuna. The other two are crustaceans.
― lxy, Tuesday, 10 November 2009 17:00 (fourteen years ago) link
What do you use to redecorate a baby’s bathroom? Infantile.
What do you call a bee born in May? A Maybe.
― lxy, Wednesday, 11 November 2009 16:19 (fourteen years ago) link
What goes black and white, black and white, black and white, boom? A nun falling down the stairs.
― lxy, Wednesday, 11 November 2009 16:21 (fourteen years ago) link
Did you hear about the new restaurant that opened in India? It’s a New Delhicatessen.
― lxy, Thursday, 12 November 2009 17:11 (fourteen years ago) link
Where do otters come from? Otter space.
What is the difference between a prizefighter and a man with a cold? One knows his blows, and the other blows his nose!
― lxy, Sunday, 15 November 2009 19:11 (fourteen years ago) link
What do you call a veterinarian with laryngitis? A hoarse doctor.
What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny.
― lxy, Monday, 16 November 2009 21:00 (fourteen years ago) link
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? Polaroids.
― lxy, Tuesday, 9 March 2010 05:39 (fourteen years ago) link
When should you use milk to irrigate your fields? When you are growing creamed corn.
― lxy, Tuesday, 9 March 2010 05:40 (fourteen years ago) link
What do you get when you cross a squirrel with a kangaroo? An animal that keeps its nuts in its pockets.
― lxy, Tuesday, 9 March 2010 05:41 (fourteen years ago) link
What does the sun drink out of? Sunglasses.
What magazine do cats like to read? Good Mousekeeping.
:D
― estela, Tuesday, 9 March 2010 10:29 (fourteen years ago) link
heh
― spite n ease (harbl), Tuesday, 9 March 2010 12:15 (fourteen years ago) link
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
― lxy, Monday, 6 August 2012 17:31 (eleven years ago) link
or a good dummy
― mookieproof, Tuesday, 7 August 2012 00:02 (eleven years ago) link
filth.
― estela, Tuesday, 7 August 2012 02:17 (eleven years ago) link
one no-trump
toughie
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 8 August 2012 03:01 (eleven years ago) link