ILOLX

from I am sitting behind ken c and he appears to be ignoring me...

What should I do? He is loosing at scrabble, should I assist?

-- Ed, Sunday, 27 May 2007 15:47 (42 minutes ago) Link

if you want him to loose

-- RJG, Sunday, 27 May 2007 15:48 (41 minutes ago) Link

ILX 2.3 New Features

Demarcate threads from different days on the new answers page. Note that you're going to have to make sure you have your timezone set up correctly for this. UK people - don't be daft - the UK's timezone is not GMT; it's only GMT in Winter. Set it up to be Europe/London or something!

-- Keith, Sunday, May 27, 2007 2:51 PM (Sunday, May 27, 2007 2:51 PM) Bookmark Link

From Vote for Your Favorite Oink Invite Candidate of 2007!

o - arthurthecrab ("What is rockism? It. Is. Knowing. When. Something. Totally. Fucking. Rocks!")

courtesy j monster

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/249/525145683_eee13d8e2b_m.jpg

From Awkward Graffiti

lol someone i knew long ago spraypainted "huker du" on a prominent public wall.

-- estela, Sunday, 3 June 2007

This whole thread from the Mod Req Board is v v funny.

yeah it is

From L O S T anticipation thread:

When will I be able to buy actual 6-packs of Dharma beer instead of draping a napkin with a hand-drawn Dharma symbol over a can of Keystone Ice? That's what I want to know.

...

-- nickalicious, Wednesday, 6 June 2007

(i <3 nickalicious.)

This is LOL.

Can't spell "test" without S-T-E-T.

-- Pleasant Plains, Thursday, June 7, 2007 5:35 PM (4 days ago) Bookmark Link

If ILX is China, IRE is defiant young Taiwan, pulsing with life and industry.

Confounded, Tuesday, 12 June 2007 20:09 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

5 point plan for minimal house takeover

1. covert elements add to gui boratto to urban outfitters playlist
2. advance scouts philip sherburne and ronan fitzgerald secure strategic positions at MTV urge
3. shock + awe: villalobos remixes matisyahu
4. german elements consolidate position with speicher 54: tiesto / darude split
5. fabric teams with hard rock cafe to open locations in las vegas, hollywood, atlantic city and daytona beach offering minimal house DJs and $75 table service.

-- moonship journey to baja, Wednesday, June 13, 2007 12:22 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

as long as the course organisers don't spring anything on us

i read 'course organizers' as 'croquet course organizers'. haha, it's a wacky course but not a reason not to come!

Hotmail Lingbert plz to enter 21st century.

-- jergïns, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:55

grits are a coarse corn meal, cooked with water like cream of wheat or oatmeal, into a pasty white sludge that is delicious when you add butter, salt, pepper, cheese, whatever you want. big in the southern us.

-- tehresa, Thursday, 14 June 2007 22:58 (3 days ago) Link

add butter add butter add butter add butter add butter add butter add butter add butter add butter add butter add butter add butter

-- jergïns, Thursday, 14 June 2007 23:26 (3 days ago) Link

^reason 156 why i <3 jergins

sodomy beef

-- gershy, Monday, June 18, 2007 7:14 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Link

from http://www.ilxor.com/ILX/ThreadSelectedControllerServlet?boardid=54&threadid=654#unread

rodman,

?

-- am0n, Tuesday, 19 June 2007 02:45 (4 hours ago) Link

am0n,

love!
rodman

-- rodman, Tuesday, 19 June 2007 04:08 (3 hours ago) Link

don't care that i was the one that posted it. selvam is rad:

my night shift are make love and sleep.
my night shift are make love and sleep.
my night shift are make love and sleep.

whenever we go out
people always shout
John Fuckdick Roffleheimer Smith

-- jergïns, Friday, June 22, 2007 12:25 PM (Friday, June 22, 2007 12:25 PM) Bookmark Link

v of legs = light
asshole = regular
over ears = Friday

-- Jaq, Friday, June 22, 2007 10:57 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

OH, THAT IS VV RUDE!

hahahahahahahahahaha!

from a poll thread:

where is "all of them" option?

-- lex pretend, Friday, 22 June 2007 08:24 (2 days ago) Link

oops.

here:

O all of them

-- StanM, Friday, 22 June 2007 08:26 (2 days ago) Link

I am so dumb I tried to click this. And I don't even want to vote for them all.

-- Ned Trifle II, Friday, 22 June 2007 08:40 (2 days ago) Link

from why do i stalk ex girlfriend :(

the future of socializing is complicated and retarded

-- am0n, Monday, 25 June 2007 19:24 (Yesterday) Link

what happens when bleaching powder is exposed to air ?

-- shanya sambyal, Sunday, July 2, 2006 5:46 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link
Ban User User Info
boom! in yer face beach

-- XD (eman), Sunday, July 2, 2006 6:46 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

NEIFI PEREZ SUSPENDED 25 GAMES FOR BANNED SUBSTANCE

It's true. I heard it on the radio.

-- Andy K, Friday, July 6, 2007 7:56 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Link

Posters are coming down across the country.

How to explain this to my son?

-- Andy K, Friday, July 6, 2007 7:57 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Link

i am so scared of swearing at work, when i go on lunch breaks i'm like a tourette's sufferer!

-- tehresa, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 23:46

what, u won the america's cup and now you're too good to post here??

-- jergins, Saturday, 7 July 2007 02:37

cio lime Skittle being temporarily replaced by "green slushy" flavor

-- Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 28 June 2007 03:04 (1 week ago) Link

the saddest cio of all

-- sleep, Thursday, 28 June 2007 03:08 (1 week ago) Link

(yes, it is both funny and sad.)

magnetic cockring = not only it is already invented but the market seems to be saturated. so right now I got nothing :(

-- Sébastien, Tuesday, 10 July 2007 14:35 (2 hours ago) Link

i think everyone needs to take their standards down a couple notches

take note, ladies

-- strongohulkington, Wednesday, July 11, 2007 2:24 PM (41 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

it's better to look good than to go 4 for 4

-- jergïns, Monday, 16 July 2007 04:17 (2 hours ago) Link

OTM

you're like totally a chick... right?

thats when the rules change.

-- chaki, Sunday, 22 July 2007 10:10 (Yesterday) Link

damn, "daisy" was a pretty bad one

-- Confounded, Monday, 23 July 2007 18:40 (4 hours ago) Link

Even I refuse to drink anything called "Unicum".

-- John Justen, Tuesday, 24 July 2007 16:16 (Yesterday) Link

lolo

from john justen and fluffy bear will drink it, regarding some milk drink:

I feel like my throat is wearing wool socks.

-- John Justen, Thursday, July 26, 2007 6:45 PM (13 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

that's all you got? i'm kind of disappointed.

-- chicago kevin, Wednesday, May 30, 2007 9:59 AM (1 month ago) Bookmark Link
Delete Undelete Ban User User Info

KEVASS

-- Lingbert, Wednesday, May 30, 2007 10:09 AM (1 month ago) Bookmark Link

I take you out to the finest resturant
Buy you any damn thing that you want
You want flowers, I'll buy your ass a rose
But later on your coming out them pantie hose
You want gold, girl whats next
It's me and you, doing the sex

-- jergïns, Monday, 30 July 2007 07:54 (7 hours ago) Link

it is a complex relationship with IRE, but sweet

from Heckles that you have known and loved

I always loved the stupidity of the "U-S-A" chants when the Red Wings would put out their line of Kozlov, Federov, Larionov, Konstaniov, et al.

-- bnw (bnw), Monday, 10 May 2004 19:56 (3 years ago) Link

regarding a closed-down strip club in mpls:

I am sure the lovely ladies of Buns & Roses have all finished their MBAs by now, anyway.

-- HI DERE, Thursday, 2 August 2007 21:10 (1 hour ago) Link

ha!

http://www.sternfannetwork.com/forum/images/custom_avatars/avatar29503_12.gif

-- chaki, Friday, 3 August 2007 08:14 (11 hours ago) Link

i just blew on the screen

-- jergïns, Friday, 3 August 2007 18:13 (1 hour ago) Link

tmi

-- gr8080, Friday, 3 August 2007 18:49 (50 minutes ago) Link

lols

-- jergïns, Friday, 3 August 2007 19:01 (38 minutes ago) Link

I arm-wrestled Lady Sov and M.I.A. within two weeks of each other in December 2005, the first after her Empty Bottle show in Chicago and the second at a Pitchfork-related party that Diplo was DJing. Although technically, Lady Sov kind of laughed it off and didn't really go through with it, whereas M.I.A. totally beat me.

-- jaymc, Thursday, 16 August 2007 17:56 (Yesterday) Link

lxy i wud never b heavening with you bcuz u r my friend jergin's wife secretary.

-- Heave Ho, Wednesday, July 11, 2007 1:53 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Link

-- gr8080, Tuesday, 21 August 2007 21:29 (2 days ago) Link

mind fixing a spelling error in a thread title for me?

i'm seeing wu-tand on Sep 1st - how many members will actually show up?

thanks.

-- gr8080, Friday, 17 August 2007 18:49 (1 week ago) Link

Heh. You daft sod. I fixed it.

-- Pashmina, Friday, 17 August 2007 21:44 (1 week ago) Link

<3 Pashmina.

recently, a drunken customer made a direct comment about my "nice tits" and then asked me if i minded/thought anyone would notice, if he had a wank under the table. to which i replied with something like "that's fine, and long as you don't mind me adding $100 to your bill".

-- Rubyredd, Thursday, 23 August 2007 13:47 (49 minutes ago) Link

jon had his birthday at applebees already?!

-- and what, Thursday, 23 August 2007 13:50 (47 minutes ago) Link

-- sanskrit, Thursday, August 23, 2007 7:51 AM (4 days ago) Bookmark Link

do you consider yourself normal karachi folk?

-- gr8080, Monday, 27 August 2007 23:34 (Yesterday) Link

yup

-- Heave Ho, Monday, 27 August 2007 23:34 (Yesterday) Link

we need a bummers thread then

-- jergïns, Monday, 27 August 2007 23:46 (Yesterday) Link

There should be [a board] called "I'd Love to Understand Cricket".

-- Jaq, Thursday, August 30, 2007 4:42 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

I'm considering wearing my lavender crocs w/smartwool sox - if you are going to hate on me, plz be creative about it :D

-- Jaq, Saturday, 1 September 2007 16:06 (1 hour ago) Link

in my first year at university i recieved a handjob to air bud 2: golden reciever

-- creme1, Thursday, April 26, 2007 3:52 PM (4 months ago) Bookmark Link

http://www.foundmagazine.com/images/finds/full/codeoftheboys.jpg

-- Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Tuesday, 4 September 2007 17:23 (1 hour ago) Link

from noise board faq

I'm totally gay for my tivo right now.

-- forksclovetofu, Sunday, 9 September 2007 21:03 (2 hours ago) Link

the discussion is annoying but this comment is LOL:

i think this just does not look good on a tall person. tiny japanese girls can pull it off not because it is any less hideous but because there is just LESS of it. it's like putting a sailor outfit on a kitten.

-- bell_labs, Tuesday, 18 September 2007 19:02 (36 minutes ago) Link

everyone is being a million year old homo right now

-- the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 20 September 2007 02:57 (2 hours ago) Link

and then there was the follow-up:

did you just call me the Highlander?

-- El Tomboto, Thursday, 20 September 2007 03:00 (2 hours ago) Link

Dear me! Do you think my valet handles anything but my wardrobe?

-- Michael White, Tuesday, September 25, 2007 7:37 AM (Tuesday, September 25, 2007 7:37 AM) Bookmark Link

According to graffiti, yes.

-- Matt, Tuesday, September 25, 2007 8:21 AM (Tuesday, September 25, 2007 8:21 AM) Bookmark Link

from the BAN MAX R thread

just you wait tho pretty soon there will be a "John Justen r" and you'll see how im feeling

-- max, Friday, 28 September 2007 00:14 (Yesterday) Link

"fuck the atf, i want to show everyone the colors of apples in a mixed-media piece"

-- max, Friday, 28 September 2007 00:46 (Yesterday) Link

i <3 max

after he posted a picture on the wdyyl, couldn't see it, and posted it again:

aw, for fuck's sake. how did that happen? tits.

twice the value, or something.

-- grimly fiendish, Saturday, 29 September 2007 21:06 (7 minutes ago) Link

i don't drink coffee anymore. is there a such thing as a timed bacon cooker?

-- bell_labs, Monday, 1 October 2007 14:48 (Yesterday) Link

come to the dark side gradski

-- Scott Spezio, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 04:03 (11 hours ago) Link

ILX 2

You have been barred from ILX.

Return to Front Page.

^guilt by association

funny assed shit. thanx sanskrit my first ban

Boston sucks, dudes.

-- HI DERE, Tuesday, October 9, 2007 12:15 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

so move, dickwipe

-- Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Tuesday, October 9, 2007 12:22 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

a smudge on my screen made it look like that said "dickwipé"

-- max, Tuesday, October 9, 2007 12:22 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

and i thought "how cultured"

-- max, Tuesday, October 9, 2007 12:23 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

haha!

the highest of fives to you good sir

-- Lingbert, Monday, 16 July 2007 06:03 (2 months ago) Link

soccer:

Lampard's mum probly boos him when he goes round to see her.

-- Noodle Vague, Saturday, 13 October 2007 17:12 (16 minutes ago) Link

i like "the final lolution", mainly because some ilxor is bound to get angry about it, which can only guarantee more lols, like a perpetual loling machine.

-- John Justen, Friday, 12 October 2007 22:56 (Yesterday) Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a self clowning oven

-- omar little, Friday, 12 October 2007 22:57 (Yesterday) Link

i once went on an internet date with someone who sent me a photo of a girl who looked like lucy liu and when i picked her up she looked like a short, squat javier bardem.

-- omar little, Tuesday, October 16, 2007 11:43 AM (39 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

and i love javier bardem but come on now

-- omar little, Tuesday, October 16, 2007 11:43 AM (39 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

HOOS have you ever caught people having sex in a public area? I did once, but i just pretended like i didn't see them.

-- gr8080, Monday, 22 October 2007 04:11 (1 hour ago) Link

also, i didn't start a thread about it.

-- gr8080, Monday, 22 October 2007 04:12 (1 hour ago) Link

Spunky Canyon is near my school. It may be due East of Chuck E. Cheese and Circuit City. At least, so the legend goes.

-- admrl, Monday, 22 October 2007 16:53 (14 minutes ago) Link

I was once tricked into putting my hand over my heart to Chad Kroger's "Hero" at a motorcycle competition.

-- Pleasant Plains, Wednesday, 24 October 2007 15:19 (7 minutes ago) Link

19. joined a mormon scout troop because i kept getting the shit kicked out of me in the catholic one. kids kept calling me a fag. i asked my mom what a fag was, and she told me it was something that started fires. next time kids called me a fag, i agreed. i started fires. not only that: i told them i was probably a better fag than them.

two weeks later the mormon scout leader tried to kick me out of the troop, thinking i was a nascent homosexual, but one of the troop moms came to bat for me, and argued that i wasn't beyond help if i hadn't "done" anything yet. then the leaders all had a round table with me and talked about being gay. i wasn't used to any attention, and i liked being chatted with. i was twelve, kind of naive, and rather than admit i was just wrong about what 'fag' meant i played off as being gay -- still not knowing exactly what it meant -- for most of the next year. i took it as a badge of my individuality.

-- remy bean, Thursday, 25 October 2007 21:27 (12 minutes ago) Link

header bar on ILX:

ILX will be out of action for a while later tonight (BST). The database needs refilled with zings.

sandbox still zingin' while ilx sits

ha, this is why you're the first post after I brought it back up!

i saw him on a spanish mountain side but i wasnt sure whether his name was pronounced eye-el-ex or illx or whatever so i just yelled out AUTOMATIC THREAD BUMP. THIS POLL IS CLOSING TOMORROW!!!!

-- jhøshea, Monday, October 29, 2007 10:15 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY HELPED JUST BY HELPING I WILL CHECK AND LET YOU KNOW

YES YOU DID

-- John Justen, Wednesday, 31 October 2007 21:30 (Yesterday) Link

blah blah blah Seattle blah blah blah Sonic chili cheese dog and tots nom nom nom blah blah blah cast iron pan blah blah blah esoteric engineering energy blah blah blah baking soda xylitol floss your teeth blah blah blah

-- Jaq, Friday, November 9, 2007 1:17 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

from i love hoops:

I PREDICT THAT JHØSHEA IS THE BIGGEST HOMER ON THIS BOARD AND THAT IS SAYING A LOT

-- Dimension 5ive, Wednesday, 14 November 2007 14:51 (3 hours ago) Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

thats more of an observation really

-- jhøshea, Wednesday, 14 November 2007 15:20 (2 hours ago) Link

mn winter is sort of like 30 days of night except i'm the vampire and booze is the townspeople.

-- John Justen, Wednesday, November 14, 2007 9:45 AM (31 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I <3 JOHN JUSTEN

and then, on christmas day, a trip to lewisburg PA to spend two hours sitting in a room that looks like the dmv and smells like microwave popcorn.

-- bell_labs, Wednesday, November 14, 2007 11:02 AM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I have the worst driver's license, it's from when I weighed 190 lbs. and was high all the time – I figured if I was stoned for the DL picture cops who might pull me over would think I looked that way just naturally. It is embarrassing.

-- Abbott, Thursday, 1 November 2007 00:29 (2 weeks ago) Link

if i was abbotts bf i would be like 'yo baby get off the computer and lets make out'

-- chaki, Monday, November 19, 2007 11:45 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

I always have to turn off my swears when talking to my family, and I end up saying very...uh...LJ-ish things? Phrases that aren't often spoken

"What a bunch of shit" ---> "that's horribly rotten."
"Fuck that" ---> "I really don't appreciate that." "That is totally foolish," etc

-- Abbott, Wednesday, 28 November 2007 19:47 (3 minutes ago) Link

I think it as licksy, like a good lollipop.

-- stet, Sunday, December 9, 2007 10:52 PM (Sunday, December 9, 2007 10:52 PM) Bookmark Link

i <3 stet. again. always.

more nips less lips

-- jergïns, Tuesday, 11 December 2007 17:47 (39 minutes ago) Link

the My favorite Thanksgiving photo is still making me laugh so much.

i need to do this at work, for real. i've been great about regular bed times, relatively healthy eating, and frequent exercise, but my internet vs. working time at my desk is a problem.

-- Jordan, Tuesday, December 18, 2007 4:00 PM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Link

i'm not going to ask any of you people for tips because you've obviously lost the battle already

-- Jordan, Tuesday, December 18, 2007 4:01 PM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Link

Up there searching Jesus's Flickr account in heaven, now.

-- Dom Passantino, Sunday, December 23, 2007 2:21 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

give sample pape3r og gujarat board scince all subject

-- konark, Tuesday, February 6, 2007 3:37 AM (10 months ago) Bookmark Link
Delete Undelete Ban User User Info
i want to give you a sample spanking, you silly sailor.

-- A. Lingbert (A. Lingbert), Tuesday, February 6, 2007 11:15 AM (10 months ago) Bookmark Link

Q. What's the hardest part of learning to roller-blade?
A. Telling your parents that you're gay.

-- jim, Thursday, December 27, 2007 1:35 PM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

...if you need to let peeps know that you are not a fag then you can just rub a few sausages on yr body....

-- libcrypt, Friday, January 4, 2008 9:45 PM (Friday, January 4, 2008 9:45 PM) Bookmark Link

i don't get it. does context help?

I'm voting for "Got Your Money" in honor of ODB aka Ason Unique, The Bebop Specialist, Big Baby Jesus, Sweet Baby Jesus, Sweet Baby Jesus, Dirt Dog, Osirus, The Man of All Rainbows, Prince Delight, The Professor, Rain Man, Super Bastard, Peanut the Kidnapper, RJ Tha Mad Specialist, Freeloading Rusty, Joe Bananas, and Dirt McGirt.

-- Belldog, Saturday, January 5, 2008 7:07 PM (18 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

is it possible
to be unbanned from just one thread on a board? i just want to be able to post in the ile wire thread. the rest of ile can get fucked imo

-- am0n, Thursday, January 10, 2008 9:22 AM

"span of attraction" is a weird euphemism for "cock"

-- Curt1s Stephens, Monday, January 14, 2008 2:28 PM (56 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I prefer taller women because their naturally voluminous vaginas make cocaine trafficking easier

-- Curt1s Stephens, Monday, January 14, 2008 3:24 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

thank you for taking my post very seriously, we need more aspies on this thread

-- gershy, Sunday, February 10, 2008 12:43 PM (35 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

august is white bitch history month

-- jhøshea, Wednesday, February 13, 2008 10:33 AM (2 hours ago)

Argh, I have to get on the treadmill now. 5.5 miles seems like a really long, pointless way to go today.

-- Sara R-C, Saturday, February 16, 2008 11:45 AM (Saturday, February 16, 2008 11:45 AM) Bookmark Link

perhaps if you walked to somewhere 5.5 miles away instead of on a rubber loop in your house, these feelings of pointlessness might subside

-- John Justen, Saturday, February 16, 2008 11:47 AM (Saturday, February 16, 2008 11:47 AM) Bookmark Link

Also if you were eating pie while walking.

-- HI DERE, Saturday, February 16, 2008 12:08 PM (Saturday, February 16, 2008 12:08 PM) Bookmark Link

I love how people are still "THOSE FUCKERS BETTER TELL ME XXX" about television shows. Y'know, they never explained Arthur Fonzarelli's supernatural powers either, did that ruin "Happy Days" for you?

-- Dimension 5ive, Sunday, 17 February 2008 19:12 (12 minutes ago) Link

my roommate once dropped acid at a pixies concert and swears – swears to this day – that he drank water from a squirrel in the seat next to him

-- remy bean, Saturday, 23 February 2008 23:37 (Yesterday) Link

What is the female equivalent of a schoolyard beatdown? Having chewing gum stuck in your hair? Being called fat?

-- Bodrick III, Thursday, March 6, 2008 9:11 AM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dating me.

-- Dom Passantino, Thursday, March 6, 2008 9:11 AM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

if I saw jerry mathers' fat face staring back from the crotch of a $5k hooker I'd be SO disappointing

-- akm, Tuesday, March 11, 2008 1:33 PM (11 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

Memories of King Boy Pato

I've got nothing.

-- Dom Passantino, Tuesday, March 18, 2008 12:13 PM

do women get ass enlargement spam?

-- Heave Ho, Wednesday, 1 August 2007 09:09 (7 months ago) Link

let's hope so

-- am0n, Wednesday, 1 August 2007 13:32 (7 months ago) Link

scrabulous is a fairly public thing and that list of bingos was posted by choice, so i think it is up to the public to decide if jon pulled COELOMiC and AnURIAS out his ass.

-- bell_labs, Friday, March 21, 2008 9:24 PM

supporting cast was great but that girl just seemed kind of lackluster.

-- tehresa, Saturday, March 22, 2008 9:52 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Link

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that was the 1980s before blowjob technology advanced as far as it has today

-- max, Saturday, March 22, 2008 9:56 AM (4 hours ago)

guys we are all bros im asking an honest question here that i admitted most likely pertains to my lack of attention paying. i think that my question was answered and i thank you for that. max i have nothing against you. we were exchanging barbs here which bros often times do. in conclusion i think this was a great thread and we all learned a lot about each other.

-- chaki, Tuesday, 25 March 2008 21:22 (Yesterday) Link

"This bag isn't gay-looking enough. Let me hold it more delicately."

-- Hurting 2, Thursday, 28 February 2008 04:54 (3 weeks ago) Link

haha there are a lot of things you could put in a yankees suck thread but matsui holding a press conference to show everyone a shitty drawing of his (clearly made-up) new wife is not one of them

-- max, Friday, 28 March 2008 16:33 (2 days ago) Link

honestly that thing looks like it was made in a team-building exercise where they all had draw a picture of their dream girl and on the back write five adjectives to describe her

-- max, Friday, 28 March 2008 16:34 (2 days ago) Link

eagerly awaiting press conference for jeter to show off the lanyard he made after bp

-- max, Friday, 28 March 2008 16:35 (2 days ago) Link

"you know that white message board that i told you is a resource for music critics? i lied, because it is really just a bunch of nerds arguing about hamburgers, and i have posted on it for 4 years. also: you know john? i slept with him and essentially liveblogged it. register at own risk"

-- roxymuzak, Wednesday, April 2, 2008 10:32 AM (10 minutes ago)

a tank plus cunnilingus = everything i love in this world

-- max, Thursday, April 3, 2008 11:58 AM (Thursday, April 3, 2008 11:58 AM) Bookmark Link

i'm going to a secret invite-only glastonbury that nobody else knows about.

ha ha, this is kinda happening tho with all these balkanised mini-festivals now happening all over the place. everyone trying to create their own UNIQUE vibe.

-- blueski, Sunday, 6 April 2008 14:30 (Yesterday) Link

a two man tent, a 1/4 of skunk and some ipod speakers does not a "unique vibe" make.

-- Upt0eleven, Sunday, 6 April 2008 14:36 (Yesterday) Link

Should I ask craigslist barter if I can use someone's "shoo goo" in exchange for an unopened thing of mustard?

-- Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Friday, April 11, 2008 12:39 PM (Friday, April 11, 2008 12:39 PM) Bookmark Link

if passantino can't find it by Sunday let's outsource to pakistan

-- sanskrit, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:05 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

Like I know what the fuck a "party/styleblog" is.

-- Dom Passantino, Friday, April 11, 2008 10:50 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Link

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theyre like the blogs you read but the girls are skinny

-- and what, Friday, April 11, 2008 10:50 AM (5 hours ago)

Gallagers has buck burger sundays, and the woman making them tipped us off to the fact that most of the regulars bring their own pockets full of processed cheese, and that this is encouraged

-- John Justen, Monday, 14 April 2008 17:00 (59 minutes ago)

in reference to a recipe for snickers bars baked inside of dough:

The BAKING is an integral part of the midwesternness of this. In the South, they'd fry that bad boy in bacon grease.

wait, now I want that, too

-- HI DERE, Tuesday, April 15, 2008 3:49 PM (Tuesday, April 15, 2008 3:49 PM) Bookmark Link

it's highly mysterious since no one would ever steal marmite.

-- estela, Saturday, April 19, 2008 4:57 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

maybe it's ended up in some us postal service biohazard disposal facility.

-- estela, Saturday, April 19, 2008 4:58 PM (Yesterday)

on a scale of 1 to macho, I rate KGP "Billy Corgan"

-- Curt1s Stephens, Sunday, April 20, 2008 10:40 PM (Sunday, April 20, 2008 10:40 PM) Bookmark Link

(^nice one, curtis)

Vans seem to have a small anus built into the soles.

-- Savannah Smiles, Wednesday, April 23, 2008 10:45 AM

amphitheatres more like armpittheatre

-- lxy, Thursday, February 21, 2008 7:31 PM

Once I only had $6.75 and I went to the post office to buy stamps. "Please give me the maximum amount of stamps I can purchase with $6.75," I said. He tore a few stamps off a packet of Virgin Mary stamps and the total came to $6.66. "Ha, the Virgin Mary and $6.66, didn't expect to see those together," I said. OH MAN he got super pissed.

-- Abbott, Friday, 25 April 2008 17:48 (1 hour ago) Link

there was a tuomas doppleganger at the beer garden by my house tonight. it was uncanny!

-- bell_labs, Wednesday, May 7, 2008 8:42 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

did he ask you what a doppelganger was

-- s1ocki, Wednesday, May 7, 2008 9:52 PM

WOOOO SIX BILLS IN MY CHEKCING ACCT!!!!!!!!!!!
BUYING ALL THIS BEERS & BURRITOS 2NIGHT

-- johnny crunch, Friday, May 9, 2008 6:42 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you are a great american.

-- Granny Dainger, Friday, May 9, 2008 6:47 AM

ancient metapotamia

-- gershy, Friday, 9 May 2008 03:50

john justen's penchant for thread lengthy thread titles pays off at last:

THIS IS THE THREAD WHERE JOHN JUSTEN WILL POST AT THE RANDOM POIONTS WHERE HE HAS 30 SECONDS AT ONE OF THE INTERNET KIOSKS THAT ARE SO POPULAR WITH THE CHILDREN OF THESE TIMES UNTIL HE HAS INTERNET HO [Started by John Justen, last updated 20 minutes ago] 6 new answers

ILX is probably the only board that continues to troll itself after the trolls leave

-- Curt1s Stephens, Monday, May 12, 2008 8:36 PM

What are some things we allow to interfere with our ILXoring?

Unemployment
Overemployment
Getting laid

-- Dom Passantino, Tuesday, May 13, 2008 1:45 PM

I can deduce logically that Dom Passantino is neither under- nor over-worked, and is not getting any.

-- wanko ergo sum, Tuesday, May 13, 2008 1:51 PM

ugh deeznuts stfu youre not gonna get anybody off ilx to marry you by pretending to care about a dog in a gif

-- and what, Wednesday, May 14, 2008 12:39 PM

were you at a

-- roxymuzak, Friday, May 16, 2008 9:55 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

lemon

-- roxymuzak, Friday, May 16, 2008 9:55 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

party?

-- roxymuzak, Friday, May 16, 2008 9:56 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Eat my ass John Justen, you're probably ugly

-- burt_stanton, Tuesday, May 20, 2008 4:09 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

rejected judy blume book title^^^

-- M@tt He1ges0n, Tuesday, 20 May 2008 16:14 (57 minutes ago) Link

Which ILX posters make you fully bar up??

...

which ilx posters make you fully bar up your windows

-- estela, Tuesday, May 20, 2008 1:02 AM (Tuesday, May 20, 2008 1:02 AM) Bookmark Link

a kid was killed in a pit at a hanson concert in '98

-- latebloomer, Tuesday, May 20, 2008 9:23 AM

meta:

if two people want to zing each other in the privacy of their own home, i'm all for it

-- latebloomer, Tuesday, May 20, 2008 6:07 PM (Tuesday, May 20, 2008 6:07 PM) Bookmark Link

write in shitfuck

-- jergïns, Tuesday, May 20, 2008 10:19 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

wtf are homonyms

-- deeznuts, Wednesday, 21 May 2008 19:25 (2 days ago) Link

...

sometimes when two similar words love each other very very much...

-- John Justen, Wednesday, 21 May 2008 19:26 (2 days ago) Link

My teeth fell out

New Answers: HTML playgroundLast on Wednesday, April 30, 2008 12:34 PM
Last on Friday, December 28, 2007 8:31 PM
Last on Thursday, April 19, 2007 2:43 PM
Last on Friday, May 23, 2008 10:21 PM

must've been some monkey business in the playground over night

from a soulseek chatz thread:

22:11:58 [ ecf88] I'm from Brazil
22:12:04 [ XD] never heard of it

22:15:35 [ ecf88] Guam? WHERE IS IT?
22:15:36 [ XD] no, guam
22:15:44 [ ecf88] really, Guam?
22:15:52 [ XD] i don't know where it is
22:16:06 [ ecf88] where in the world is Guam?
22:16:08 [ ecf88] tell me
22:16:11 [ ecf88] please!
22:17:05 [ ecf88] hahahah
22:18:14 [ XD] its an island i think
22:18:32 [ XD] i see a lot of water

-- am0n, Sunday, May 25, 2008 7:29 PM (1 hour ago)

one time i was drunk then the next day i was on the internet and there was a retard asking for omg awzom stories

-- jhøshea, Sunday, 8 June 2008 14:09 (7 hours ago)

While we're talking about crazy difficult internet searches, does anyone remember some controversial advertisement with a dog that appeared to be fucking a rolled over car? The car was upside down, and the dog was standing on a way that looked he was mounting it, and mothers saw the ad and got really upset? The results I get on google are interesting but not what I'm searching for.

-- Z S, Monday, June 23, 2008 3:22 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

I made multiple attempts to solve your dilemma, but I was unsuccessful.

-- Lingbert, Monday, June 23, 2008 3:42 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

what were the search terms? I need to know.

-- Z S, Monday, June 23, 2008 3:44 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

"david lee roth emt"
"Cafe Yarmarka seattle"
"happpppppy birthday"

-- Lingbert, Monday, June 23, 2008 3:53 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Q: What kind of tent did Dom Passantino take to Glastonbury?
A: ^^^

-- William Bloody Swygart, Wednesday, June 25, 2008 9:46 AM

earth mother juggz 2 tha extreme

-- M@tt He1ges0n, Wednesday, July 9, 2008 3:49 PM

miiznuts

-- El Tomboto, Thursday, July 10, 2008 9:56 PM (31 minutes ago)

being v. drunk means never having to say you're sorry

-- BLACK BEYONCE, Friday, July 11, 2008 3:11 PM

"just got offed" contains the letters g t f o and s t f u

-- estela, Thursday, 10 July 2008 07:13 (Yesterday)

spicy... i like it!

estela #1

y

danny wang is a discosaurus sex

-- san frandisco, Monday, July 28, 2008 1:38 PM

I left her flat at 4am, with my shitted boxers in a bag, having vomited in every room in her flat.

-- Mister Craig, Wednesday, July 30, 2008 11:15 PM

hes not really an asshole, he's just an enthusiastic young man with a sixth grade education and an abiding love for tgi fridays starters

-- and what, Wednesday, August 6, 2008 3:36 PM (54 minutes ago)

i remember her only talking about (1) radiohead and (2) being lonely and/or fat

-- harbl, Friday, August 15, 2008 7:40 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

to be fair that is most of ilx

-- bnw, Friday, August 15, 2008 8:48 AM (2 hours ago)

1. It’s never sexy to be sloppy: know your limits and drink responsibly.

-- am0n, Thursday, April 3, 2008 2:39 PM (Thursday, April 3, 2008 2:39 PM) Bookmark Link

Has any proposed change to an indefinitely repeating procedure been so head-smackingly obvious that it's been implemented *instantly* with no looking back?

Perhaps try using the other hand?

-- Matt DC, Tuesday, August 19, 2008 3:49 AM (8 hours ago)

http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j171/mdanielwalter/1223.jpg

-- wilter, Monday, August 25, 2008 10:36 PM (6 minutes ago)

thx for coldplay covers, have been looking for those

-- jergins, Friday, August 29, 2008 1:34 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

gabbneb stfu you napoleon complex papa smurf fucker

-- Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Tuesday, September 2, 2008 9:59 AM

this acronym was always there right but i never noticed it before

Site New Answers Search Boards Preferences Bookmarks ILE ILM TWATSoN New Answers New Question New Questions New Poll Logout

how to prepare chemistry for board

― nisha (unregistered), Saturday, September 20, 2008 10:27 PM

mix vinegar and baking soda

― lil yawne (harbl), Saturday, September 20, 2008 10:33 PM

― Iron Queef (libcrypt)

what happen next

― april kadeva, Tuesday, 23 September 2008 05:44 (9 hours ago) Permalink

may kadeva

― ;y=ｰ( ﾟдﾟ)･∵. (am0n), Tuesday, 23 September 2008 06:08 (9 hours ago) Permalink

11 am here, can you get drunk on vegemite toast and half a grapefruit?

― john della boscaoila (sic), Friday, September 26, 2008 4:50 PM

you can if you pour enough vodka over it

― SHOT INTO A FAN LIKE A CHRIS ROCK ROBOT (John Justen), Friday, September 26, 2008

ROCKTOBER OUT WITH YOUR COCKTOBER OUT

― Local Garda, Tuesday, September 30, 2008 5:07 AM

hm intersting analogy you sir are suggest banned.

- (gr8080), Wednesday, September 17, 2008 10:02 PM

there could be a little more rock in my tober

― jonty alouette (electricsound), Friday, 3 October 2008 07:21 (4 days ago)

Next time Ashley Cole plays for England, instead of booing, the whole crowd should just put their phones on vibrate at once.

― Matt DC, Tuesday, October 14, 2008 3:40 AM

Since it's all in CAPITALS, I thought the thread title was an abbreviation :-/
(Mothers I'd Like to Know or something)

― StanM, Wednesday, 22 October 2008 16:40 (2 hours ago)

this is more a small town MN thing, but I remember driving around so many times with beers up on the defroster vent on the dashboard...cuz we would have to hide our beer in the trunk, so they froze solid, so then we would drive around with like 5 beers on defrost, i remember some one would have to keep rotating them like those hot dog things at a convenience store

-- M@tt He1ges0n, Wednesday, October 22, 2008 10:06 AM

Well I just assumed that at 41 you're too busy handling your mid-life crisis to care about any sort of forums or polls.

― Moka, Wednesday, October 22, 2008 9:40 PM

my posting here IS handling my mid-life crisis

― I REQUEST U PLEASE GIVE ME A GUESS PAPERS (PappaWheelie V), Wednesday, October 22, 2008 9:40 PM

http://i221.photobucket.com/albums/dd118/embarchie/yellowcard.jpg

best gauge of a character is a person's reaction to the middle-finger caressing the palm in mid-shake

― eman, Friday, October 24, 2008 1:34 PM

and as this thread has basically made pretty clear, ADD is totally liveable and even useful in some situations.

wut

― ಥ﹏ಥ (cankles), Saturday, October 25, 2008 12:49 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lost myspace password/new email account

lol

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3019/2973592054_8883935155.jpg
― Neotropical pygmy squirrel, Saturday, October 25, 2008 8:12 PM

Re: . . . And Speaking of Science [Mark R. Levin]

While we're on the subject, maybe Hitchens can tell us what scientific research he opposes, if any. Science in the wrong hands, like religion, can be a very dangerous weapon. My guess is he hasn't given it sufficient thought. He uses science as a weapon against religion without presenting a thoughtful, workable approach of his own.

10/28 11:16 AM

― joe 40oz (deej), Tuesday, October 28, 2008 10:10 AM

he probably opposes the science that created nonalcoholic beer if you know what i'm sayin

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, October 28, 2008 10:12 AM

he's the man, a man with the fingered butt
a spider's butt!

― Slumpman (Slump Man), Monday, April 10, 2006 7:08 PM (2 years ago)

i was under the impression they do timeout - pretty sure some mod or other mentioned that - if they dont well all be banned eventually

― SNAKES! (ice crӕm), Tuesday, 11 November 2008 02:29 (2 hours ago)

a fitting end to ilx

― bnw, Tuesday, 11 November 2008 02:30 (2 hours ago)

I would like to know how we, collectively, could have been so asleep at the wheel as to have not made an instant recurring phrase out of "anal sex is like foie gras." Thank you.

― J0hn D., Saturday, 15 November 2008 22:36

friend: "There's no swearword worse than 'motherfucker'."
snoball: "Er... 'grandmotherfucker'?"

― snoball, Monday, November 17, 2008 7:47 AM

can anyone contact gershy and see if he can find the true story on justin norman

― omar little, Monday, 17 November 2008 21:22

i'll get velko to email him

― eman, Monday, 17 November 2008 21:25

you forgot the winky

― creator of 2008's most successful meme (velko), Monday, 17 November 2008 21:28

gabbneb looks like he has a constant craving

― Lingbert

grady no offense but you sort of sound like chaki on this thread...

― :) Mrs Edward Cullen XD (max)

thanks for taking time away from your busy phil collins listening schedule to make that important post, max.

― ♪☺♫☻ (gr8080)

actual lol

yes we never can

― eman, Wednesday, November 5, 2008 12:00 AM

MotorwayAve (5:26:48 PM): what would be the ultimate in person rickroll
roxymuzak (5:27:50 PM): i would say, traveling to DC for the inauguration after they opened up the entire mall and instead of obama coming out and being inaugurated it is rick astley performing "never gonna give you up"

― roxymuzak, Friday, December 5, 2008 2:39 PM

pretty decent rick roll would be leaving yr man at the altar and playing never gonna give you up instead of the wedding march, imho

― Tanganyika laughter epidemic (gbx), Friday, December 5, 2008 2:48 PM

yeah or being really rich and old and then when you die your children open the will and its just the lyrics of never gonna give u up

― beyonc'e (max), Friday, December 5, 2008 2:50 PM

re: the new animal collective

sounds like Too $hort

― Shakey Mo Collier, Friday, December 12, 2008 3:32 PM

Too $hort if he only pimped out angels.

― a hoy hoy, Friday, December 12, 2008 3:33 PM

..."brian" the guy who came with the game that nabisco married accidentally....

― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Monday, December 15, 2008 12:41 AM

from portland thread:

Y'know, if we're going to have weather like this we might as well have a football team.

― Clay, Sunday, 21 December 2008

noted meteorologist Greg Nickels

― super ws bros (The Reverend), Saturday, December 20, 2008 9:55 PM

365 Whole Bean coffee can be had at $6.66 a lb.

― Giorgio Moderator (PappaWheelie V), Sunday, December 21, 2008 7:10 PM

A random bloke tried to feel me up during a showing of Dog Day Afternoon, circa 1993. In fairness: it was a 16mm projection in a dingy theatre in Edinburgh, and I was wearing leather trousers and a full-length leather coat.

― grimly fiendish, Saturday, 27 December 2008 15:51

tombot's post-fest following this

"GUM?! What a cherry ripoff."

― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, January 2, 2009 4:33 PM

http://www.zyx.com/glyn/images/lols/dearSnow_small.jpg

― glynsync, Tuesday, January 6, 2009 5:28 PM

nothing beats a paper mill

― mookieproof, Tuesday, January 6, 2009 7:45 PM

except a scissors mill

― 8====D ------ ㋡ (max), Tuesday, January 6, 2009 7:57 PM

it was a big deal when i had to announce to roxy that i was straight

― ♪㋡♫㋡ (gr8080), Wednesday, January 7, 2009 6:44 PM

lol max

You are all fancy in the pants area. [...]

― mose def (kenan), Sunday, January 18, 2009

just cuz it's a funny phrase the rest is kinda bullshit thus removed

I think it is a nice design, too. I hate Pepsi, but I would probably drink it if it started coming in a platinum statuette of Macho Man Randy Savage piledriving Hulk Hogan (provided the expense stayed low). I would say that the average American Pepsi consumer has rolled with the punches so far and will probably not do anything but keep drinking Pepsi as normal. I am glad we had this lengthy talk, though.

― roxymuzak, Friday, 9 January 2009 23:10

funny he found a size XXXXXXXXXL shirt in a gas station

― cutty, Thursday, January 22, 2009 11:13 AM

where else would you buy a shirt that big

― 8====D ------ ㋡ (max), Thursday, January 22, 2009 11:15 AM

Why do I only ever get Excelsiored three years later?

― Eric H., Monday, January 26, 2009 10:33 AM

so it doesnt go to your head.

― s1ocki, Monday, January 26, 2009 10:39 AM

Your comments are like wine?

― StanM, Monday, January 26, 2009 10:40 AM

ur ahead of yr time

― ice cr?m, Monday, January 26, 2009 10:41 AM

xxxpost sez guy who gets excelsiorized for sneezing

― Eric H., Monday, January 26, 2009 11:11 AM

about bco

cruise their version of wdyll and then come back to this one. it's like seeing yourself in the mirror with the florescent lights on.

― •--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Tuesday, January 27, 2009 8:07 PM

the followup line was really great too!

I'm going to Hell.... Help me?
― Norrie J. Amiss, Thursday, June 15, 2006 6:21 PM

grab a pitchfork
― Q('.'Q) (eman), Thursday, June 15, 2006 6:54 PM

can i be an html playground moderator?

― ☪, Sunday, February 1, 2009 5:01 AM

can i be a astronaut

― eman, Monday, February 2, 2009 10:20 AM

what if the code gets rewritten so that you can make any changes you want without rewriting code?

― s1ocki, Tuesday, February 3, 2009 6:23 AM

i <3 s1ocki

not sure if this is lol or just otm

i mean, every other shopper "disrupts" the grocery store when they're standing in line in front of you. every other car disrupts your use of the road in a traffic jam. every other asshole on the G disrupts my ability to find an empty seat in an unstinky car.

Oh, I don't like any of those people, either.

― How can there be male ladybugs? (Laurel), Monday, February 9, 2009 3:14 PM

all celebrity herpes can be traced to derek jeter - true fact

― ice cr?m, Thursday, February 12, 2009 11:06 AM

where can I meet single girls on valentines day?

― CaptainLorax, Saturday, February 14, 2009 1:22 PM

With their friends watching Bridget Jones, drinking lambrini, dressed in their pj's with cushions on their laps.
Talkin' bout how good they feel since they kicked that dirtbag to the curb.

― not_goodwin, Saturday, February 14, 2009 2:02 PM

I wish that if Kate is pregnant she had waited 'til she got to the island so that eventually she'd die..

― she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Friday, February 20, 2009 6:26 AM

I'd like to see that plane when Frank and the O6 vanish in midair-- the stewardesses would probably think they'd ended up in a Tim LaHaye novel.

― President Keyes, Friday, February 20, 2009 9:39 AM

(i love a Left Behind reference!)

ILOLroXy:

http://www.ilxor.com/ILX/ThreadSelectedControllerServlet?showall=true&bookmarkedmessageid=454927&boardid=40&threadid=57514

This fellow was so deeply in love with travelling in the summer that he got the word "SUN" tattooed on his penis. Normally, only the first and last letters were visible, although when he was aroused, the tattoo spelled out S-U-N. Now he's vacationing a resort in Montego Bay. One night, in the men's room, this fellow finds himself standing next to a tall Jamaican at the urinal. To his amazement, he notices that this man, too, has the letters S-U-N tattooed on his penis. "Excuse me," he says, "but I couldn't help noticing your tattoo. Do you love vacationing in the sunshine as much as I do?" "No way, mon, I used to post to ilxor.com. Mine reads, "SUGGEST BAN'"

― bobby dijindal (and what), Thursday, February 26, 2009 11:10 AM

tbh Tuomas being unbanned because a few members of his fan club swan in here demanding the process be unfairly overturned would be a massive slap in the face to guys like me who've gone to to the trouble to register 15 sockpuppets and click suggest ban with all of them

― EMPIRE STATE HYMEN (MPx4A), Friday, February 27, 2009 6:19 AM

namaste yall where the jumpsuits @

― ice cr?m, Friday, 27 February 2009 14:39

Who ate the summer butter?

― Tuomas, Wednesday, 25 February 2009 21:09

it's the only funny thing he ever said

although the follow-up is kind of awesome too:

The cat ate the summer butter.

― Tuomas, Wednesday, 25 February 2009 21:11

could I really be where I am today, drinking beer alone in my kitchen listening to prince, without this beard?

― Local Garda, Saturday, February 28, 2009 2:29 PM

# I want to see the sample board paper of class 12 of national insitute of open schooling? [Started by GUDIYA in March 2009, last updated Saturday, February 28, 2009 4:46 PM]

talking about banned dudes:

ethan and dom and burt_stanton with tuomas checking in every few days to ask what's going on would be a 100% A+ classic board imo

― wow heaven is cool (J0rdan S.), Thursday, March 5, 2009 2:23 PM

youre forgetting--ethan + dom + GABBNEB + burt_stanton + deeznuts

― rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Thursday, March 5, 2009 2:25 PM

that's like some McLaughlin Group roundtable from hell right there

― One of the Most High Profile Comedy Directors of the 90s (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, March 5, 2009 2:25 PM

did dom get banned i missed that? i guess i also missed burt getting banned. and i always forget who ethan is but i missed that too.

in other words i haven't really been following the action lately.

but yeah, lol re. McLaughlin Group.

lots of excitement today, will fill u in tonight

i really love john justen

Once deliberately bought Ben & Jerrys choc fudge brownie, red wine, condoms, and moist toilet tissue and nothing else.

― Sickamous Mouthall (Scik Mouthy), Tuesday, March 17, 2009 9:30 AM

Looks like that was more than just an assumption on my part:

MIKHAIL: Of course I don’t know you, Sayid Jarrah. How could I? And you, Kate Austen, are a complete stranger to me. But you John Locke, you I might have a fleeting memory of, but I must be confused, because the John Locke I know was paral—

ROUSSEAU: Hey! Look at this! Over here…come on.

― Bianca Jagger (jaymc), Tuesday, March 24, 2009 10:25 AM

"..paraletic after we drank all the Dharma beer following the purge."

― Hard House SugBanton (blueski), Tuesday, March 24, 2009 10:30 AM

I must be confused, because the John Locke I know was parallel universe John Locke

― congratulations (n/a), Tuesday, March 24, 2009 10:30 AM

the John Locke i know was paral - that is Russian word for total douchebag

― Hard House SugBanton (blueski), Tuesday, March 24, 2009 10:32 AM

About a year ago I rolled down the car window and yelled "Ya Poopah!" at a kid walking on the side of the road as we drove by. :(

― I f'd up the word rear (Z S), Thursday, March 26, 2009 8:29 AM

ILS Thread of Tips for Boys to Get Stylier

dont be afraid to let your dick outline show

― rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Monday, March 30, 2009 10:59 AM

on Gary The Chef Stealer Sheffield getting DFA'd:

he's running out of time to exact revenge on all the clubs that have wronged him

― mookieproof, Tuesday, March 31, 2009 9:34 AM

one of the endings to that space vampire book is you yourself become a space vampire, and from the book's description, it's pretty rad.

― Philip Nunez, Tuesday, March 31, 2009 10:45 AM

THANKS FOR THE SPOILERS ASSHOLE

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Tuesday, March 31, 2009 10:45 AM

you're going to die anyways, you might as well die hurtling through space with your eyeballs popping out of your skull instead of crashing your kia through the plate-glass window of an H&R block

― congratulations (n/a), Tuesday, March 31, 2009 11:19 AM

I'm feeling kind of sorry for the misunderstood gila monster now

Though the Gila monster is venomous, its sluggish nature means that it represents little threat to humans. However, it has earned a fearsome reputation, and is often killed by hikers and homeowners, despite being protected by state law in Arizona and Nevada.

I guess that's what happens when your name is "monster"

I'm gonna start a campaign to rename them gila friends

― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Thursday, 2 April 2009 14:04

i am a cynical middle aged man, and i will not be silenced!

― velko, Sunday, April 5, 2009 11:01 PM

I really want the next episode to move the plot forward rather than fill in gaps from the past but I will do a complete U-Turn on this stance if it involves Miles talking to dead pirates.

― Matt DC, Saturday, 11 April 2009 09:57

lol'd so hard

― Just one thing I was thinking about as I was getting on the copter (J0hn D.), Friday, April 17, 2009 9:46 AM

then you cried for a while

― congratulations (n/a), Friday, April 17, 2009 9:48 AM

lol/col

― Just one thing I was thinking about as I was getting on the copter (J0hn D.), Friday, April 17, 2009 9:51 AM

rofcmeo

― Jarlrmai, Friday, April 17, 2009 9:54 AM

speedwagon

― cool app (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Friday, April 17, 2009 10:09 AM

rip driveshaft

― rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Friday, April 17, 2009 8:55 AM

Heaven needed You All Everybody.

― Enormous Epic (Matt DC), Friday, April 17, 2009 8:55 AM

My parents followed me when I moved out to Phoenix. Which is partly why I now live in Seattle.

― Jaq, Monday, April 20, 2009 8:08 PM (25 minutes ago)

I am just easily amused I guess but when I see a question like this being posed it just puts my day on the right course

― Just one thing I was thinking about as I was getting on the copter (J0hn D.), Thursday, April 23, 2009 12:31 PM

how they can get back to 2007 before Ben gasses them all.

Thought that said "before Ben glasses them all". Season 4 finale: BIG FIGHT in EAST END PUB.

― JimD, Friday, April 24, 2009 5:00 AM

liked the way dan and his mother were AVIN AN OLD FASHIONED BRITISH CURRY at like fucking midday

― Local Garda, Tuesday, May 5, 2009 4:06 PM

they probably traveled in time to suppertime

― s1ocki, Tuesday, May 5, 2009 9:08 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

they get thrown forward to 2057 where you can actually now have lobsters on the pier in London cos of climate change. Penny knew this of course.

― Hard House SugBanton (blueski), Tuesday, May 5, 2009 9:10 AM

but i can make curry

― rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Tuesday, May 5, 2009 9:10 AM

pipecock what are you favorite fries?

― rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Wednesday, May 13, 2009 12:38 PM

best fries ever are both pgh spots: The O and the fries at the Potato Patch stands at Kennywood. classic.

― pipecock, Wednesday, May 13, 2009 12:57 PM

my understanding is that those are pale, soulless ripoffs of better fries made by black guys in detroit

― rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Wednesday, May 13, 2009 12:59 PM

yesterday a guy was walking along side of a street trying to sell passersby a "17th century wagon wheel"

― Dr. Phil, Thursday, May 14, 2009 9:46 AM

from now on flashbacks should all just take place in the yogurt section of whole foods so we can tell if they're ok based on presence/lack of faggy yogurt.

― ricardos montalban (tehresa), Wednesday, May 20, 2009 8:35 AM

have any of you ever been to a boat show?

haha did you lock it?

it was too perfect not to lock it

<3 that

Providence and San Jose are considered separate MSAs because they have separate cores, but both are included in the larger CMSAs

― Reggiano Jackson (gabbneb), Tuesday, May 26, 2009 1:24 PM

ur mom has a separate core.

― ian, Tuesday, May 26, 2009 1:27 PM (3 minutes ago)

As for illegal downloading, I think I'm right in saying that in Germany the high court decided it wasn't actually illegal to download, so the issue is not necessarily so legally or morally clearcut.

- Zelda Zonk, Thursday, May 28, 2009 2:39 AM

You let the German high court decide your morality?

- Bathtime at the Apollo (G00blar), Thursday, May 28, 2009 2:40 AM

well when have they ever let us down?

- Hard House SugBanton (blueski), Thursday, May 28, 2009 2:41 AM

omg pato on the "future hosting of ilx" thread, so funny:

Can't we just subtly amend our posting styles to rake in lucrative marketing dollars? I was thinking about just now while listening to my awesome MICROSOFT ZUNE, a great piece of technology that is changing the way we view and interact with media and one that I highly recommend.

― "too worldly to compete on /b/" (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 2 June 2009 12:57

The difference between perpetual ads and ads-free is like the difference between when I am driving a bus full of 50 schoolkids and an empty bus. Empty is much quieter. It is easier to drive and less aggravating. Does that mean I "fear" kids?

― Aimless, Tuesday, June 2, 2009 1:20 PM

yes

― Obama seems to have the views of a 21-year-old Hispanic girl (HI DERE), Tuesday, June 2, 2009 1:20 PM

Also why would you drive an empty bus?

― I Got Great Gusto, but Only Some I Can Trust Yo (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, June 2, 2009 1:21 PM

thx. cleared up for me now

― Aimless, Tuesday, June 2, 2009 1:21 PM

IT'S MEANT FOR CARRYING KIDS, MISTER

― I Got Great Gusto, but Only Some I Can Trust Yo (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, June 2, 2009 1:21 PM

wait why are you posting from a schoolbus

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, June 2, 2009 1:22 PM

If he drops below 50 SBs it's gonna blow up

― I Got Great Gusto, but Only Some I Can Trust Yo (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, June 2, 2009 1:22 PM

"hey wouldn't it be call of that hot chick loves the novelization of X-Com: UFO Defense and wants to talk about it"

― Lamp, Monday, June 8, 2009 12:30 PM

i got funny looks on the bus when i read a book about the assassination attempt on Pinochet, the cover had some of the gunmen standing in front of a flag with this logo on it:

http://www.cedema.org/uploads/chile-fpmr.jpeg

― languid samuel l. jackson (jim), Monday, June 8, 2009 12:31 PM

no hot girls in to terrorism talked to me tho.

― languid samuel l. jackson (jim), Monday, June 8, 2009 12:31 PM

also my copy of William Shirer's Rise and Fall of the Third Reich has no dust cover so reading it on the bus it was a big brown tomb with a swastika embossed in the cover :/

― languid samuel l. jackson (jim), Monday, June 8, 2009 12:32 PM

again no hot nazi girls talked to me.

― languid samuel l. jackson (jim), Monday, June 8, 2009 12:32 PM

"hey wouldn't it be cool if that chick loves vin diesel and/or his biography .44 desert eagle too and wants to talk about it"

― Lamp, Monday, June 8, 2009 12:33 PM

We need to develop a complex equation including pizza quality and crust thickness, city name font size on the Rand McNally map of the U.S.A., number of Grammy Award-winning sound engineering winners, Gucci loafer sales figures, serial killings, number of annual Rocky Horror Picture Show midnight showings, "urban" music festival frequency and attendance, average restaurant tip rate, quality of Major League Soccer franchise, and annual ostrich egg consumption.

― congratulations (n/a), Tuesday, May 26, 2009 11:13 AM

i have no doubt there are plenty of gems on the attack attack thread but this on caused a true belly laugh and i don't want to lose it:

it's more morris dancing than headbanging TBF

― Achtung Blobby (Neil S), Tuesday, 16 June 2009

abt some soccer guy:
y'know how architects can't stop being architects and they just critique every fucking building they go near? I bet Bright is like that for punditry, all squeaking "I mean you can say it's a busy time of day but for me they just have to open another checkout at this stage" in his absurd little voice, to no-one at all

― QUAM PARSONS (MPx4A), Friday, June 26, 2009 1:03 PM

estela-esque, that

it's hard because on the one hand you don't wanna be a shallow jerk but on the other hand feeling like a super jumbo all the time is tiring and on the other hand i just like tall people better

― harbl, Sunday, July 5, 2009 6:00 PM

did i mention it's hard to get dates when you have 3 hands ^_^

― harbl, Sunday, July 5, 2009 6:00 PM

I was watching this on BBC world with the sound not too high and I was very confused when the brothers rolled the coffin out of the hall AND THEN BACK IN, like there was going to be an encore or something. But it was just the BBC showing a short recap of the service.

― StanM, Tuesday, 7 July 2009 20:21

first half or so
http://www.ilxor.com/ILX/ThreadSelectedControllerServlet?boardid=40&threadid=73583#unread

oh ya, i read that one yesterday. first half good!

my favorite broad definition vegetable is potato chips

― lxy, Sunday, July 12, 2009 1:08 PM

there was once a truly spectacular summit meeting of the lbzc critics set: 5 men, all wearing the same thick-rimmed glasses, and my good self, with bad hair and a too-tight cardigan

― thank you, flipper, for nickelback (country matters), Wednesday, July 15, 2009 1:26 PM

Worst porn movie ever.

― tuch her body to get her in a good mod (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, July 15, 2009 1:27 PM

Weird Cake actually looked and felt like dense cornbread, except sweet and cake-tasting -- would have been edible and tasty and non-weird to anyone who had never had either cornbread or cake

― nabisco, Wednesday, 15 July 2009 17:10

Best thing about a stealth/ambiguous date is that if nothing happens you can pretend in your mind that it was never a date in the first place. Therefore it doesn't count as a failed date, it's just hanging out with a friend.

― chap, Tuesday, May 19, 2009 9:11 PM

you can tell yourself that, yes

― blair underwood: "man up" (omar little), Tuesday, May 19, 2009 9:12 PM

When Apple forced me to give a name to my iPod, I chose the name "ass." Yesterday, when backing it up on iTunes, the title bar at the top of the window said "Backing up 'ass.'"

― iiiijjjj, Monday, July 27, 2009 7:25 PM

got a hot tip on shelf full of binders, suspect that's the fucking goldmine, we'll all eat good once we unload these sublime frequencies discs without any cover art

― Trey Tsongas (J0hn D.), Monday, July 27, 2009 8:08 PM

He suffers deep guilt for the U.S.'s colonial treachery. All he can do to forget it is drink, dance, have meaningless sexual encounters with tourists and eat goldfish crackers.

― bamcquern, Wednesday, August 5, 2009 4:37 AM

The last time I was between jobs, I sat on the couch for a week, eating fried shrimp and watching coverage of the Oklahoma City bombing.

Man. That was a great week.

― Pleasant Plains, Tuesday, 12 June 2007 21:56 (2 years ago) Permalink

this thread, from here till early this morning:

http://www.ilxor.com/ILX/ThreadSelectedControllerServlet?showall=true&bookmarkedmessageid=877383&boardid=40&threadid=74265

Also I predict the Mets choke again, or maybe even an earlier fade this year... Santana's elbow gets wonkz0red, and their rotation shits the bed, also their new park has a new name by the all star break.

― (*ﾟーﾟ)θ L(。･＿･)　　　°~ヾ(･ε･ *) (Steve Shasta), Wednesday, April 1, 2009 3:57 PM (4 months ago)

― (*ﾟーﾟ)θ L(。･＿･)　　　°~ヾ(･ε･ *) (Steve Shasta), Wednesday, August 26, 2009 7:53 AM

its still called citi field--looks like the mets defied your expectations!!

― fleetwood (max), Wednesday, August 26, 2009 7:54 AM

being tall gives my bad dancing an even bigger canvas. It's like semaphore or some shit

― stet, Monday, August 31, 2009 10:20 AM

my girlfriend just texted me from a pub to tell me that Barcelona have just scored one of the best goals she's ever seen. True? (Assuming that she's seen plenty of good goals.)

― Akon/Family (Merdeyeux), Monday, August 31, 2009 2:46 PM

she's talking shite tbh, 3 headers, none of the 3 particularly exceptional.

― 123456789 (jim), Monday, August 31, 2009 2:55 PM

how long has she been in the pub?

― 123456789 (jim), Monday, August 31, 2009 2:55 PM

not long enough for this to be excusable, pfft.

― Akon/Family (Merdeyeux), Monday, August 31, 2009 2:56 PM

Ordinarily I would email Google to complain in such a situation however when I tried to do this a few minutes ago I remembered Gmail was down, the very source of my initial desire to complain. Google has coerced me into this circular tour of human emotions.

― I for one welcome this new Nazi ILX (Local Garda), Tuesday, September 1, 2009 1:02 PM

this is crap. i have emoticons to send

― jair (jergins), Tuesday, September 1, 2009 12:54 PM

local garda's contributions on that thread are A+

yeah there's some funny shit on it

on the HUMID thread:

FUK U

― am0n, Friday, September 4, 2009 6:04 PM

it's not even humid

― harbl, Friday, September 4, 2009 6:09 PM

Wind: North 0 mph
Dewpoint: 63°
Humidity: 78%

― am0n, Friday, September 4, 2009 6:21 PM

nabisco referring to a post he had made up thread, some months previous:

Hahaha WTF -- I should note that the main error with that quoted story of mine is that I don't think I won the spelling bee, I was runner-up! I don't know if I said "won" because I was confusing it with the geography bee, because the story was simpler that way, or because I wanted to sound like a good speller.

― nabisco, Wednesday, March 18, 2009 12:56 PM

what happened when you got third place at the grammar rodeo?

― the singer who has an affinity for not wearing pants (some dude), Wednesday, March 18, 2009 1:00 PM

now i've got the giggles, can't stop

maybe you were right, i'm just like this normally

God help anyone near me if I know the answer and nobody playing the game does.
"Pimento. Pimento. Pimento! PIMENTO MOTHERFUCKERS! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL IT'S PIMENTO! PIMEEENTOOOOO! SAY IT YOU COCKSUCKERS! PIMENTO!"
"...and no one knew, 'What is... Pimento.'"
"GOD I HATE YOU FUCKERS!"

― im a fucking unicorn you douchebags (forksclovetofu), Monday, July 27, 2009 4:03 PM

snog blog written under the influence of egg nog

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, September 22, 2009 9:55 AM

i should become a christian with all the bread and wine i consume

― quaq quao, sweetie (electricsound), Sunday, November 1, 2009 7:08 PM

pretty sure yer parents would understand u beating off better than making a collage in tribute to a dead dog you'd never met.

― ian, Tuesday, October 27, 2009 5:50 PM

hahaa

back in the early 80s a guy standing next to me on a street corner turned and said "I'd like to fuck you in the ass" I was like hey I know this is NYC and all but wtf.

― chief rocker frankie crocker (m coleman), Wednesday, 2 December 2009 16:17

- why so many awful charity records?

^^^you really need to ask that? its for charity!

― SORRY ASS IMPRESSIONS (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, December 22, 2009 2:52 AM

Once the parents were brought in for questioning, Richard Heene feigned sleep during the lie-detector test, claiming it was some sort of diabetic episode, Lewis said.

― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, December 23, 2009 11:29 AM

...

Heene later attempted, unsuccessfully, to run from police, claiming it was some sort of restless leg episode.

― pithfork (Hurting 2), Thursday, December 24, 2009 7:50 AM

Yes, we need 3 hours of Alpert laying all this shit out, straight to camera. The rest of the season can be Hurley/Sawyer/Miles bro-down/zingfest.

― ma-cheese-mo (onimo), Monday, January 25, 2010 8:30 AM (2 hours ago)

also otm

haha max, re. shannon not being on the alternate-universe plane:

should've just had Desmond play her in a blonde wig

― PLIES! PLIES! PLIES! PLIES! PLIES! (some dude), Wednesday, February 3, 2010 7:44 AM

would have made sense to call boone "brother"

― max, Wednesday, February 3, 2010 7:58 AM (7 minutes ago)

6 months pass...

oh and Im in New Haven CT now.. no longer Detroit (or B-more before that).

― nothingleft (gravydan), Thursday, February 4, 2010 1:00 PM

I'll make a note of it.

― Hoisin Murphy (jaymc), Thursday, February 4, 2010 1:56 PM

was this the cunt that won the brit award?

― jed_, Friday, February 19, 2010 1:22 AM

sorry about the "cunt" i meant it in a glaswegian way.

― jed_, Friday, February 19, 2010 1:23 AM

YAAAAAAAAAAAAA

― ^^potentially not true at all, sry^^ (Z S), Sunday, February 28, 2010 2:28 PM

HOLY FUCK

― waka flocka pedia (J0rdan S.), Sunday, February 28, 2010 2:28 PM

WHOOOOOOOO

― Lee Dorrian Gray (J0hn D.), Sunday, February 28, 2010 2:28 PM

WHAT WHAT

― max, Sunday, February 28, 2010 2:29 PM

RAD

― nitzer ebbebe (gbx), Sunday, February 28, 2010 2:29 PM

In a moment of patriotic glory, Americans on the internet all took the time to solemnly press the CAPS LOCK key

― ^^potentially not true at all, sry^^ (Z S), Sunday, February 28, 2010 2:30 PM

(also, yay CANADA)

from lost thread:

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kyesdrE1Ro1qz6kbro1_500.jpg

The guy I worked for was worried about hiring me bcz of my gender. "Does anyone ever say 'ice cream GIRL'? No, they always say 'ice cream man.'" But something about my willingness to be paid under the table at less than minimum wage allowed me to break the glass ceiling that has stopped so many women from selling ice cream bars throughout history.

― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Monday, March 1, 2010 8:19 PM

i like ned t:

I was momentarily pissed off with Dan for locking the thread but then I posted a couple of cute animals on the cute thread and I felt fine.

― Ned Trifle II, Wednesday, February 17, 2010 11:35 AM

I really don't think Jacob and Smokey represent good vs. evil. They are more like Randolph and Mortimer Duke: two powerful dudes with differing theories about humanity.

― no turkey unless it's a club sandwich (polyphonic), Saturday, March 20, 2010 11:38 AM

re: hutaree militia

the thing about these groups is that you never see, like, a super-flash Bond-villain operation set up with massively hi-tech gadgets; it's always some losers with a porto-potty bolted onto a pickup truck that they call "mobile HQ"

― STAY ALIVE USING EQUIPMENT (HI DERE), Tuesday, March 30, 2010 3:16 PM

jeez, did anybody see Prince hit that double 5 minutes ago? Almost fell down following thru on the hack, then windmills down the basepaths for 180 feet like a huge investment banker at a kegger. Funniest shit I've seen in awhile.

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, April 7, 2010 1:32 AM

I want to know what coffee shop exists at the corner of Melrose and Sweetzer in the alt. timeline, because in this timeline it's Ashton Kutcher's reaturant "Dolce" and the Penny that I fell in love with wouldn't want to meet for coffee there

― Shannon Whirry and the Bad Brains, Wednesday, April 7, 2010 3:10 PM

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l0vpxqMFcc1qz7tb2o1_r1_500.jpg

haah

http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee69/sbdnate/lolcano-1.gif

fuckin daft punk clean up this volcano asap or else

http://media.sacbee.com/static/weblogs/photos/images/2010/apr10/volcano_sm/volcano04.jpg

― ice cr?m, Saturday, April 17, 2010 6:44 PM

dudes are never going to finish if they just use that piece of paper

― caek, Saturday, April 17, 2010 7:00 PM

foolish robots

― ice cr?m, Saturday, April 17, 2010 7:03 PM

from mong thread:

looooooool @ abbott talking about cutting the dole for people under 30

― casio cat (electricsound), Tuesday, April 20, 2010 5:03 PM (38 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Yeah wtf, he really must not wanna be elected.

― Eyjafjallalalalalatrolololol (Trayce), Tuesday, April 20, 2010 5:18 PM (23 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

at least they're showing their true colours - they loathe the poor and the young

still, that's no big shock is it??

― Marissas now living will never her (haitch), Tuesday, April 20, 2010 5:20 PM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Sorry guys, but fuck the young.

― kissogram powers (Abbott), Tuesday, April 20, 2010 5:21 PM (20 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

the fact that a ventriloquist comic can make a living in america is proof that not enough kids are getting the shit kicked out of them in high school

― münchausen by proxymuzak (m bison), Wednesday, May 26, 2010 7:11 AM (1 hour ago)

wow, waddle's let himself go

― caek, Sunday, June 27, 2010 5:28 AM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

onomatipaeia in action

― ,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Sunday, June 27, 2010 5:29 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

wow, i just read my last post and it looks like translation of czech put through early version of babelfish

― dell (del), Tuesday, July 27, 2010 12:16 PM (1 hour ago)

maybe not funny so much as sweet/cute/touching in that way old baseball stuff often is:

I think that's where I first discovered that the Seventh-Inning Stretch isn't some technical baseball term but a reference to fans standing up for a minute and maybe buying a pretzel or something.

― a harshbuzz to my manpain (onimo), Wednesday, August 18, 2010 6:02 AM

Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, due to an earlier incident, all Sixth Avenue line trains are running over the Eighth Avenue line. Please be patient.
Confused tourist lady: What does that even mean? I don't understand.
Suit: It means that if you want to take any of the trains on the orange line you transfer at the next station like normal, but instead of going downstairs you just wait on that platform for the train you want.
Middle-aged woman across aisle: They're not orange line trains. It's the B, the D, the F and the V. Real New Yorkers don't call it the orange line.
Suit: Hey, lady, fuck you. There, is that New York enough for ya?

― I've got ten bucks. SURPRISE ME. (Laurel), Thursday, November 11, 2010 3:54 PM

'NASA finds Tenacious D life form'

― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Thursday, December 2, 2010 11:28 AM (10 minutes ago)

kill it before it makes a film

― champagne for my t-friends (Edward III), Thursday, December 2, 2010 11:29 AM (9 minutes ago)

# katy perry - what do you think? [Started by deeznuts in June 2008, last updated 32 minutes ago by balls on I Love Music] 33 new answers

lol u have a queen

― am0n, Tuesday, December 7, 2010 12:37 PM

if i recall correctly she had a bush like a 40 year old serbian.

― thebingoisback, Sunday, October 4, 2009 11:17 PM

tonight in my speech class someone said said orgasm instead of organism and recovered better than i did. i had to think about dead pets in order to stop laughing.

...

― The Great Jumanji, (La Lechera), Thursday, October 7, 2010 8:24 PM

LOL amon, dr. morbius:

funniest thing about the WSJ blog entry -- that people actually do "online banking." What a buncha darned fools.

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, December 21, 2010 8:17 AM

...

does that boggle ur stone-age mind or

― vladimir pootawn (am0n), Tuesday, December 21, 2010 8:25 AM

other things "darned fools" do "online": shopping, taxes, reading, chatting!?!?!

― vladimir pootawn (am0n), Tuesday, December 21, 2010 8:29 AM

...

never been ripped off during online chatting and reading funnily enough

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, December 21, 2010 8:45 AM

I don't think many people are ever ripped off due to online banking, fwiw.

The most you're going to be able to do is view balances, transfer between existing accounts, and view bank account numbers. You know, the same numbers anyone can read off of a check you write.

But checks might be too "damned foolish" too, I don't know.

― mh, Tuesday, December 21, 2010 8:49 AM

thx for the new display name

― old man yells at cloud computing (am0n), Tuesday, December 21, 2010 9:02 AM

...

I prefer barter

also, fuck you am0n

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, December 21, 2010 9:15 AM

not.. really

there was cider though, and some thing called 'sangrita' which i did not indulge in

― boner graphs (electricsound), Tuesday, December 28, 2010

dunno if i could drink something with 'grit' in the name - like how i can't eat a turducken due to 'turd' being in the name

well nowhere near as bad, but u feel me

― lights out gorilla rodeo (haitch), Tuesday, December 28, 2010

shiitake mushrooms?
cucumber?

― boner graphs (electricsound), Tuesday, December 28, 2010

won't be wearing a cummerbund anytime soon either

― lights out gorilla rodeo (haitch), Tuesday, December 28, 2010

It was to a different MP, but once I printed out the wallogina, put an arrow next to one of them, wrote 'YOU' next to the arrow and posted it to the one who had been a cunt.

― I don't wanna be with nobody but boobs. Oh no. (edwardo), Tuesday, February 15, 2011

when i woke this morning my first thought was OH GREAT ANOTHER GRIM DAY OF CATASTROPHICALLY SPIRALLING SELF-REFLECTION, and then my next was FRA-EE-DAY, FRA-EE-DAY, and then my next was :).

― Antoine Bugleboy (Merdeyeux), Tuesday, March 15, 2011 1:41 PM

and when they rolled back the stone, they found iatee sonning betas in an internet beef

― strongo hulkington's ghost dad, Tuesday, June 14, 2011 10:54 AM (3 days ago)

u s steel on taking a trip with her mom. what's not to <3 about this:

...but mostly we like the same stuff (gambling, cheese, scenic drives).

― Deremiah Was a Bullfrog (u s steel), Thursday, June 9, 2011 11:33 PM

stet lol (and a little bit of a dig at ilx's most inveterate admin log watcher):

i cld just get the adming log to also post to this thread, if it'd save you the trouble?

― stet, Tuesday, June 28, 2011 12:23 PM (19 minutes ago)

when you say program java do you mean make coffee because i can do that

― lxy, Thursday, June 30, 2011 7:17 PM

when we were heading to lunch at Paris, we passed a group of frat bros just as they won $38K playing roulette; I cheered for them although I knew at least one of them was likely to die that night

― DJP, Thursday, July 7, 2011 6:21 PM

omg Z S is funny:

there was like a 10-15 second pre-earthquake before the biggest part hit, and from the sounds of the flushing and minor shaking on the floors above and below me, i thought there was a major plumbing problem. my thoughts for the first half of the earthquake were basically "is the water going to shoot up the toilet and into my butt"

― Z S, Tuesday, August 23, 2011 10:49 AM

MTV VMA's really brings out the best. LOLLLing that Bieber really said "I'd like to thank not only God, but also Jesus"

― Telephoneface (Adam Bruneau), Monday, August 29, 2011 10:05 AM

holy ghost is all what the fuck am i, invisible?

― zvookster, Monday, August 29, 2011 10:06 AM

<3 caek

at work we each get a subsidised ticket for two litres + 1 chicken. the subsidy comes from the coffee machine. haha i don't drink coffee and i'm going to sell the chicken.

― caek, Monday, September 19, 2011 1:34 PM

Max: I am okay, I am typing this from a phone a man lended to me, since gmail failed I was afraid to use my computer. I spent the night at an Internet cafe here, watching the news reports roll in. Everyone here cannot believe this has happened. I have to go now, a family need to use this phone to check an old hotmail account they have. Please everyone take care and only use mail if you absolutely must. God bless us all.

― When a German communicates, you listen (LocalGarda), Saturday, September 24, 2011 8:13 AM

went out with a guy who works as a sound engineer a few weeks ago and went on about how he can't date people that don't work in creative fields, because they are not "self-actualized"...uhm, ok. i'm just trying to find someone to make out with, bud.

― bene_gesserit, Friday, November 4, 2011 4:16 PM

- copied loads of papers for a meeting with a credit bank tomorrow (yes, i'm the 99%, sadly, the past haunts me in the shape of a huge study debt)
- totally forged my work contract and house renting contract because i couldn't find the original copies anymore; had the perfect culprit too, my dad, who got way into it lol, pulling out letter paper from 8 years ago to print it on, creasing up the paper to make it look old, driving staples through it, smashing perforating holes through it "because it's been in your binder for years DO YOU SEE), suggesting to use a "low ink pen" for the signatures. great son-dad moment, been years...
- wine, bliss, sleep now

― Y Kant Lou Reed (Le Bateau Ivre),

btw apropos of nothing, I spent the weekend with my dad in Chicago who spent about 14 hours raving about how amazing MN apples have become

― sex-poodle Al Gore (DJP), Wednesday, November 9, 2011

honeycrisps are good its true

not as good as fujis tho

― ASPIE Rocky (dayo), Wednesday, November 9, 2011

and i can eat them guilt free! hooray for america!

xpost nah we got a whole new apple going on right now that i cant remember the name of, gala something maybe?

― cannonball aderall (jjjusten), Wednesday, November 9, 2011

sweet tango?

― cannonball aderall (jjjusten), Wednesday, November 9, 2011

I think it's SweeTango(TM), although based on how my dad was going on about them they should be called CrackOrgasm.

― sex-poodle Al Gore (DJP), Wednesday, November 9, 2011

this is pretty funny

all these ppl in here?

ja that

Dreamed last night that I smoked celery in a dorm room with 2 ILXors (one of whom I've met irl) and Miley Cyrus. I was like, "wtf, celery?" but they explained that it's just as strong as weed if you do it right. You put it in a glass Coke bottle with some fire inside and suck the smoke out through a straw.

Not feeling very rested this morning.

― WmC, Saturday, May 21, 2011

diet smoke

― ♪♫ hey there lamp post, feelin' whiney ♪♫ (darraghmac), Saturday, May 21, 201

i have a lot of affection for lapsed vegetarians because i feel like the period afterwards is always so grateful & enthusiastic. my friend started eating fish & it's like a whole freed prisoner thing, just constantly renewed wonder at how bright life can be. vegetarianism has its own stockholm syndrome thing, like you are condemned to spending time with mushrooms & slow-cooked onions but you learn to love those things as a result of your captivity.

― schlump, Tuesday, February 5, 2013 9:26 AM (22 minutes ago

when everyone was posting on the sandbox last year i hoped schlump would stick around after big ilx came back but then i never saw him here again.

i hoped that too! i said as much when i posted the above, but i deleted it before clicking submit. why i don't know.

it sounds like the sin of pride to my catholic-raised ears.

and that sounds like the sin of speaking too directly to my lutheran-raised ears.

your dainty lutheran-raised ears might not have liked the catholic volume and tone of my laugh when i read that.

sin of pride kicking in again: it pleases me to know i made you laugh.

why was lxy reading sandbox football threads imo

huh i can't find the original post that is strange

a cat may look at a king. xp

not sandbox is why you couldn't find it. http://www.ilxor.com/ILX/ThreadSelectedControllerServlet?showall=true&bookmarkedmessageid=1699348&boardid=40&threadid=81232

i read it cuz i followed the world cup. did you ever see the video of the chart jergins and i made?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ECgk77qKyU&feature=player_embedded

vv commendable

wait can one steal from ilx like that

it's our big brother, of course one can!

think of it as a hand-me-down.

this appropriation of a set of words sounds to me like a bit of a lxycon

oh you goofy!

http://i.word.com/idictionary/hand-me-down

i was just trying to make a lxycon joke tbh

lol good, that's the best kind of joke. i just didn't want to presume.

tho jergins and i actually had a "maybe they use a different term there" conversation.

If youse're not gonna assume that i'm v v clever i shan't hang round

you've no call to worry

haha je55e -- this is getting off topic and maybe it's just me but i've always felt like home depot is kind of a cruising environment, it's basically a series of long hypermasculine alleyways populated by rugged dudes and you have to kind of lurk around near all this manly stuff, sometimes you stop and ask a guy a question then you end up following him down a darkened aisle. idk, maybe i just get confused by the signage out front for "contractor pickup" because i always think "yes, please."

― ⚓ (elmo argonaut), Thursday, June 6, 2013 5:19 AM

i was just daydreaming yesterday about how much i love to go to home depot or lowe's because i like to feel small and the high ceilings and high shelves with really big things on them are just the thing to make a tall lady feel small. also it smells great.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6236/6225360126_1722e4c837.jpg

mookie you are off the charts

I got confused by my mobile phone boarding pass and showed the flight security attendant an Instagram of a bee.

― Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, September 30, 2014 4:54 AM (3 weeks ago)